


Lifeline

by CertainlyNotMom



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Alien Biology, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Depression, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/M, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mpreg, Needles, Porn With Plot, Prostitution, Suicide Attempt, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2019-10-07 22:56:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 48,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17374784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CertainlyNotMom/pseuds/CertainlyNotMom
Summary: AU Set after Waters of Mars and Children of Earth and before End of Time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing.

     Jack held the hypervodka in his mouth savoring the burn as he listened to the man across from him babble about what a great opportunity his particular freighter was. Never mind that there were sixteen other captains passing the same line to every drunk in the spaceport. Every one of which knew that the ships launching from here would barely sustain you on the six-month journey to the next outpost. It wasn’t the freighters fault, they were in the back end of nowhere. Twenty-first century Earth couldn’t draw much in space-traffic seeing as they refused to acknowledge the existence of other life. All you really got were rich tourists gawking at the primitives and species who wanted to take over which he’d spent more than a linear century preventing and a helluva lot longer in his own personal timeline.

      Out here you were so far from what the rest of the universe considered civilization only the most modern ships could make the trip in comfort and little shipping operations like these were far from the most modern. The freighters existed to provide fuel and supplies to the luxury liners making the trip, eking out a living on the crumbs from the tables of the rich and powerful. The crews would spend the long journey in cramped conditions and short rations. The less room you took to house and feed your crew the more cargo you could carry and the more profit you could pull. The crew made decent wages for the time period but generally squandered them in places just like the one Jack was sitting in.

      Spaceport bars were where the real money was. Each ship brought men and women who were so deprived by the long journey they would blow anything for a week or so of comfort and extravagance. The bar he was sitting in could easily rival some pleasure planets for its amenities. The smoke in the air carried wisps of a dozen intoxicants being consumed in the booths at the perimeter. The station at the center, where he was currently at, sold all manner of ingestible indulgences from rich food to strong alcohol. Every now and again a beautiful man or woman in semi-transparent robes with glassy eyes would circle the establishment in a daze to lure customers upstairs for pleasure of the more physical variety.

      None of these things, of course, dulled the deep ache of loss he still carried with him. Ianto's death still hurt and a little voice inside his mind said it would for the thousand years the young man had asked of him. It was a cruel request if he really thought about it. He hadn’t forgotten Estelle or Angelo or even John fucking Hart. His damnable memory was as immortal as he was. How many times was he supposed to love and lose and carry one more lover’s ghost in the shadows of his memory.

      “Look, it sounds lovely really but I’ve got the credits to stay here a while longer before I need to sell my soul to a shipping company.” Jack said dismissively to the babbling captain. He didn’t mention that with his torchwood wages and a century of interest converted to credits he could probably stay right where he was for the next decade without ever having an empty glass. He didn’t mention he could probably buy his own damn freighter if he really wanted to.

      Torchwood had paid him well, as they should for the kind of work he did, and living in the hub he hadn’t had cause to spend much of that money. He had also made a few inspired investments based off the knowledge of the future he had. They weren’t enough to change any timelines, but enough that he could outfit himself with a little ship if he saw fit. Anything in this place he wanted he could buy but none of it would chase away the darkness that consumed him.

     He sat his empty glass on the bar, considering purchasing a whore to get away from the seedy little man who continued to extol the virtues of employment. With a smile and some time he could probably have any of the patrons in the bar for free but that always risked more attachment than he was quite willing to give. He wouldn’t have to worry about the morning after with a professional. He could lose himself in a luscious body, spend the night in a comfortable bed and wake once more with no responsibilities.

      He was about to ask the bartender for a room token when down the stairs came an apparition in gossamer robes. Dressed identically to any of the other prostitutes with the same glassy eyes and drug-induced sway was a man he’d seen stare down armies. For a moment he doubted himself. The man in the robes was far too relaxed, graceful even in the stupor of the powerful drugs fed to those in employ of the pimp who managed the rooms. His face too peaceful showing none of the power and cunning that usually resided there. He wasn’t playing at having eaten the lotus he had partaken of it and surely the man he thought he saw wouldn’t be that stupid.

      The men and women who worked here routinely took a drug called Paradise. In small doses it produced euphoria and hypersexuality. Long-term use made you docile, easily suggestible and dependant on not only the drug but the feedback loop of dopamine and oxytocin caused by physical contact. It was like a combination of MDMA and Heroin though twice as addictive and more deadly to withdraw from. Prostitutes used it to make their line of work bearable then the drug made them need the job to sate the constant desire it produced.

      He could see in the way the lean-muscled man let himself lean against walls and patrons like a cat stroking itself on furniture that he’d been hooked for awhile. Jack tried to work out how this could possibly be if the man was who he thought he was. He could imagine that man infiltrating the establishment to right the perceived wrongs. Perhaps this brothel had stepped beyond offering employment to the beautiful and desperate and started trafficking pleasure slaves. Jack would have thought about it more but it looked like another patron was about to purchase the man’s time so he leapt up first and waved his credit stick at the pimp leaving the gibbering freighter Captain talking to empty air.

      He paid for the whole night-cycle, not wanting to be rushed and needing to be sure who he was dealing with. The pimp led the man with dark hair and deep brown eyes by a hand on the small of his back. Jack fought the urge to smack his hand away while he was led to a room with garish paint  dominated by a bed with satin sheets. The pimp lead the man right onto the bed and guided him onto his belly, removing the flimsy robe as he did so. He opened a drawer on the bedside table and retrieved a half-empty bottle of lube from inside placing it on top for Jack’s convenience before leaving the room.

     Jack went over to the man thrusting into the mattress and let his hand run down the man’s back. There was no bruising, though he couldn’t tell if that was due to gentle handling or fast healing. He coaxed the man's legs open and spread his cheeks to inspect his anus and found it bright red and mildly abraded but without significant tears. He still had a little semen leaking out from his last customer. Jack took a tissue from his pocket and carefully cleaned him. Jack turned the man onto his back and placed a hand on his chest amid the light dusting of hair. Feeling the double thrum of a twin heartbeat he asked “Doctor?”

      Jack briefly considered the odds that there would be another two-hearted alien who looked exactly like his friend before dismissing it as a fool’s hope. The Doctor rubbed himself on Jacks hand and made needy noises at him. When Jack failed to oblige he sat up and began pulling on Jack’s clothes. Jack soothed him running his hands over his arms and chest, giving him the contact he needed even if it wasn’t the way he wanted. With one arm busy providing comfort he used the other to retrieve his penlight. He tested the Doctor’s pupil response and found it consistent with a high dose of paradise. He felt a little warmer than Jack remembered him. He didn’t know what the Doctor’s heart rate should be but his respirations good providing they should be judged by the same criteria a human’s would.

      Having done all he could to reassure himself that his friend was in no imminent danger, Jack kicked off his boots and climbed into the bed with the Doctor. The room didn’t have a chair of any kind, not that one would fit, so it was the bed or the floor. As soon as he climbed in on top of the flimsy duvet he got a lap full of timelord.

      “Now Doc, you really don’t know how tempting you are, but I’m not that kind of a bastard.” Jack said as he maneuvered them so that the doctor was sitting with his back against him between his legs on the bed.

       “I want….I want…”The Doctor muttered at Jack while grinding his arse against Jack’s crotch.

      “I can see what you want.” It was true, the Doctor was huge and hard and nothing was left to the imagination. His thick cock was dark with arousal and a drop of precome clung to the tip. Jack tried to distract him by running his fingers through his hair and scratching his head while he inspected the room.

      A few things leapt out at him. One, both the headboard and footboard of the bed had rings for restraints. So either bondage was a privilege you could pay for or his ‘employers’  were tying him up to keep him out of trouble when he didn’t have customers. Two, this room had no personal effects. There was an ensuite with a few grooming products and no door but no momentos or street clothes or anything that would indicate a life beyond these few walls. Three, the door locked from the outside so it was meant to keep him in, not others out. All these things led Jack to believe that this establishment was running slaves.

      There was a time when this knowledge would have him planning a total take-down of the operation. He could take down the pimp but the guards would probably kill him at least once. If the Doctor had been able to help he would have done it anyway but as he was there was too much of a risk the Doc would end up as collateral damage. He would lay down his life for the Doctor even if he only had one to give, he had done so already, but he couldn’t risk the life of his friend. If the Doctor was able he’d come back and right another of the universe's many wrongs. For now, he had to think about the man in his lap.

      Jack knew that people under the influence of paradise would stay in a state of arousal for hours, alternating between sleep and sex until the drug wore off. For his plan to work he needed to spend his entire purchased time with the Doctor before talking to the pimp. With this in mind  he put one arm around the other man’s chest and wrapped the other hand around his cock. He had ten hours to last in here and he wasn’t going to be able to do it if he had to fight him off the whole time. It was also a real risk that the Doc might hurt himself looking for relief. He choose to be technical rather than passionate and tried to think of it as a medical procedure.

       Realistically, Jack knew he’d need this every few hours until the drug cleared his system and he wouldn’t be able to stop taking Paradise cold turkey. He’d have to gradually wean him off over a period of days if not weeks. He didn’t know what dose the time lord would become cooperative at but he did know he was unlikely to remember anything other than a general feeling of euphoria as long as it was high enough in his system to make him horny. He would need to be supported with round-the-clock care until then at the least. He would likely need it until he was no longer having cravings.  That wasn’t going to be something he could do out of a one-room living pod on the spaceport. He was going to have to go home.

      Home, now there was a strange thing, home was still bloody Cardiff in his mind.  He could probably make London work but his instinct was to go back to where he waited for so many years. He had contacts in Cardiff, could get almost anything he wanted. He certainly would know where to get a flat where no one would ask questions about his very odd friend. The question was how would they get there. The Doctor wasn’t really fit to go on a freighter. Another very pressing question: Where was the Tardis?

      As soon as the Doctor was sorted he’d scan for her on his wrist comp. If she was anywhere on the spaceport, he’d know. He resigned himself to a sleepless night. Not that it would be unusual, he hardly ever slept anymore. Chances are they had dosed the Doctor right before the start of the night-cycle. That would give the peak effects during the busiest time at the bar. They would either have to dose him again in the early morning or confine him until they were ready to give him more. The amount he was on was higher than your average rent boy would take. His sense of self was completely clouded. They had turned one of the most brilliant minds in the universe into a sex toy.

      During the night the Doctor would stir, restless and wanting. The captain would finish him quickly with his hands and he’d settle back down. Occasionally he’d plead for more and be held and stroked until the need died down. His pleas were more pronounced towards the morning but he also developed a tremor as the drugs slowly cleared his system. As the day-cycle began a chime sounded in the room letting him know his allotted time had been spent. Though he loathed leaving the Doctor unattended this next bit wouldn’t work with him present. So Jack dusted off his conman smile and went to talk to the pimp in his office at the end of the hall.


	2. Chapter 2

     Raghnall Lynch was an opportunistic bastard. Jack didn’t expect anything different from a pimp-turned-slaver. The man was head and shoulders shorter than Jack so it was hard not to loom over him. Jack didn’t want to intimidate the man yet, he wanted to appeal to his keenly developed sense of greed.   

     “I had a very good time last night, Mr. Lynch.” Jack said with a smile watching the seedy little man preen at the formality. Most folks called him Rag when they bothered to talk to him at all. “I haven’t had a time like that in years, I’m quite impressed with this addition to your staff.”

     Rag laughed “Tight isn’t he? No matter how many clients he has the next day that arse is as tight as the day he got here. You’d think he was a virgin with an arse like that.”

     Jack kept showing his teeth, it wasn’t a smile anymore but Rag thought it was and that’s what counted. “Yeah, he’s one of the best I’ve ever had. Leaving him in his room this morning was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.” That was the truth at least, Jack didn’t want to think of what his handlers would do after he left.

     “I’m glad you enjoyed your stay, you can feel free to spend your credits on him whenever you want.” Rag reached out a hand and clapped Jack on the back.

     It took a great deal of self control to not intercept the man’s hand but Jack allowed it to land. “Thing is Mr. Lynch, I’m looking for a more permanent arrangement. I’m not going to be rattling around the spaceport forever and deep-space can get pretty cold. I’d like to take him with me to keep me warm.”

     Rag stopped smiling now and leaned away from Jack. “Now, Mr. Harkness, I don’t think our friend would be wanting to change employers. You know he lives on Paradise. He’s gonna need a lot more than one man can provide and you might not be able to resupply it when you need. It would be cruel to ask him to give up his comfort here.”

     “I think our friend could be persuaded Mr. Lynch, I have a very good wage package for him and I assure you I can meet his needs. Of course I would compensate you for your loss. I could buy out his contract?” Jack made it a question. “What do you say Mr. Lynch? It’s a nice time of year for a large bonus. You’ve got many fine workers and he hasn’t been around long enough to really draw any regulars.” 

     “Just because he has no regulars now doesn't mean he won’t.” Rag complained

     “He’s a bit old too. He’s what 40? He doesn't realistically have a long career ahead of him” Jack wasn’t foolish enough to let him know the Doctor would look the same in a hundred years or more.

     “He’s not just human like you, I think he might be a Dulcian or a Kulan. He could live longer that way. You don’t know how long he has to work. He heals faster so he can have the special clients and those pay more so a short career could be just as profitable as a long one.” Rag went to sit behind his desk 

     Neither Jack’s face or his body language changed but inside he seethed. Special clients meant that he was right about the restraints and probably worse. Anger wouldn’t get him what he wanted though so he continued to haggle. “If he’s Dulcian your special clients would cause him permanent damage rather quickly. They heal flesh fast but one broken bone and he’ll never be the same. Even Paradise isn’t strong enough to dull that kind of pain.

     “He isn’t a Kulan because he doesn't bleed purple. What I think you’ve actually got is an Apalapucian. Which means he’s durable to most anything physically but next to no immune system. Life in a spaceport is dirty. He’s bound to get sick eventually and all the money you planned on making is gone.” Jack watched Rag pondering his words “Real Money in your hand now is intrinsically more valuable than hypothetical money you might get in the future.”

     “I don’t know, Mr. Harkness, he has a long contract, let me say at least five years.” Rag was reluctant but coming around. 

     Jack smiled again. Rag may not have known it but he had just agreed. Now it was simply a matter of price. Jack could swing five years of the Doctor’s income easily but to give into the first offer would have been suspicious. He also didn’t want to give the wanker more than he absolutely had to. It irritated him that Rag would turn a profit on the Doctor. He knew Rag wouldn’t let him go any other way though and he couldn’t risk the Doctor in a fire fight. 

     He worked Rag down to three years at 100 credits a night, two days off a week that Rag lied about him having when Jack hinted that anything less might be construed by local authorities to be  a less than legal arrangement. There was nothing so vulgar as a bill of sale but they shook hands and set a time when Jack would return. Jack had also negotiated two weeks supply of Paradise. Hopefully that would be enough to wean his friend off and bring him back into the world. He wouldn’t be using the full dose Rag had him on anyhow so it should last for the month of detox.

     The difficult part was going to be getting the Doctor back to Earth. Most transports in this timezone wouldn’t take a passenger as strung out as he was. It was going to be enough of a challenge just to walk him through the spaceport in his condition. He knew he needed some clothes at the very least. He wouldn’t want to risk a riot dragging a nearly-naked man through the crowd. The best case would be to find the Tardis. If the Doctor had come to the spaceport under his own power she should be there someplace. It was unlikely that he had been moved far because he still had good muscle tone and while he was skinny he wasn’t wasted away like he would be if he’d been taking Paradise longer than a month or two.

     It was far more likely that Rag was harvesting locally so in the time between his talk with Rag and picking up the Doctor he went back to his living pod and ran a scan on his wrist comp for the Tardis. She showed up on the maintenance level, in a restricted area of course. There would be no record of him arriving as the Doctor wasn’t known for following customs procedures. Materializing himself into the thick of things was much more his style. In a way, that would make it easier on Jack if no one knew the Tardis was there they couldn’t wonder where she’d gone. 

     It took another 200 credits to bribe his way to the Tardis and two hours to throw off the tail he’d picked up looking for her but it was worth it as he stood at her doors and inserted the key he’d kept for so long. He’d sifted through the rubble of the hub for days to find the little piece of metal worth more to him than all the gold in the universe on the off chance that one day he would unlock these very doors.

     As he walked in he was hit by the ship’s worry, while the ship couldn't communicate in words she made it clear that she was frantic about the state of her pilot. Jack’s relationship was one of grudging respect. There was a time when she would have run to the end of the universe to get away from him, hardwired as she was to avoid fixed points in time. It had taken a year of constant sacrifice for her to get used to him helped by the fact that it was his hand that freed her from the Master’s paradox machine.

     “I know beautiful, he’s a mess. I promise I won’t leave him a second longer than I absolutely have to” Jack stroked the console lovingly and opened his mind to the Tardis letting her see his burgeoning plan. “I’m gonna need your help though, sweetheart, I can’t take care of him here. We gotta get him off this floating pile of space-junk, back to Earth where I can press-gang his other friends into helping me take care of him until he can take care of himself. As wonderful as you are you don’t have the arms and legs that I’ll need assisting me while he comes down from the drugs.”

     Jack turned a monitor to face him as the display translated into 51st century common outlining the steps it would take to send her to the rift to refuel shortly after Jack had left Earth. 

     “That’s great, between you and me we’ll get him home...Ouch damn it” Jack jumped back from the monitor swearing from the electric shock the Tardis had delivered. “I meant my home not his home, I know you are his home. I never meant to suggest otherwise.” Jack checked his vortex manipulator for the time and said out loud: “I need a little bit more from you, sexy, just a little hop. Space not time. I need you out of the maintenance levels and closer to the bar. He isn’t going to help me get him here at all and I need to limit his time in public. I need you to get as close as you can to him without being in the bar or being seen by the people who have him.” Jack smiled as another set of instructions appeared on the monitor and he started the dematerialization sequence glad he had the Doctor’s greatest ally on his side.

     Mere moments later they were in a supply cupboard five minutes from the bar. Jack had to wrestle a few brooms on his way out, stashing them on the sides so his charge wouldn’t trip on the way back. The door didn’t lock from the inside and a few seconds with a tool kit from the Tardis insured he wouldn’t be locked out either. He would have liked to have found the sonic screwdriver as it was designed for this purpose but the Tardis had hummed sadly at him and broadcast a sense of loss when he’d inquired as to its whereabouts. Another look at his vortex manipulator showed him to be hours ahead of schedule but he couldn’t wait another second so he headed to the bar hoping Rag had taken care of the arrangements immediately after his departure. 

     Jack waved at the bartender as he strode up the back steps toward the Doctor’s room he contemplated heading to Rag’s office but headed straight to his goal instead. The second he opened the door he knew he should have waited, his hand went immediately to his gun and it took every iota of self-control he had not to draw it.

     On the bed the Doctor’s arms stretched wide, wrists shackled to the rings in the headboard Jack had noted earlier. His face was pushed into the mattress which absorbed his moans and cries, he was on his knees with his legs spread wide and his arse held high and balls deep in that arse was Rag, pistoning in and out at a punishing pace, sweat beading on his forehead, hands on the Doctor’s hips, breathing hard as he rammed his cock into the Timelord over and over again.

     Jack fought to control his rage. Everything he was said that Rag was in dire need of a bullet to the brain. Caught in the act defiling a being so far above him it stopped just short of sacrilege. With a groan Rag spilled himself inside Jack’s lonely god. Rag pulled himself out with an obscene wet slurp and glanced towards Jack in the doorway.

     “You’re early.” Rag laughed “If I’d known you’d be here so soon I’d let you do the honors. He’s just had his paradise, hasn’t come yet. I’ll leave that to you to finish. You won’t get him to go anywhere until he does. Keys to his wrists are on the nightstand. I’ll be right back with his traveling attire.” With a smirk he walked around Jack who was still frozen just inside the door. With the seedy man’s departure Jack snapped back into action, in an instant he was by his friends side.

     The Doctor swayed in his bonds, he’d taken to making mewling needy noises at the loss of stimulation, he thrust into the air pitifully begging wordlessly for relief. Jack watched semen drip from his gaping hole down his balls and tried to re engage logical thought. Fact one: Rag was right, Abaddon take him to hell for it. The Doctor was not going to go anywhere in this state. Fact two: Jack would personally arrange for anyone who laid a hand on him to meet their respective deity. Which led to Fact three: Jack needed to make him come. 

     Last night he had managed to do that in a way that felt clinical, there was no hope of that right now. Everything from the smell in the room to the noises coming from the timelord’s throat screamed sex and neither Jack’s mind nor his traitorous body could rationalize it as anything else. Jack unlocked his wrists to buy himself time to think and was almost instantly knocked-down with an armful of horny timelord.

     At a loss for how to handle the situation he held the Doctor in his arms while the other man writhed against him. Jack laid on the bed with him still in his arms and held him close while the Doctor took what he needed. A few minutes of sloppy frottage later and the Doctor was calm and Jack needed a change of trousers. He used the bedclothes to wipe at the stain before bundling the other man into the small en suite for a quick shower. When he returned to the main room Rag was waiting with a box.

     “I brought everything you’ll need to get him on your ship, just like I said I would.” Rag gestured to the box. “When we move them they wear these” Rag held up a harness with a butt-plug attached. “It vibrates, works by remote, so you can strap him in a seat and turn it on and he’ll be okay like that a few hours.” He held up a rubberized drawstring bag. “His bits go in here, saves the upholstery.” He took out a pair of synthetic silk pajamas next. “These he can wear out. You can’t see through them so they are legal in the main spaceport, They have snaps all along where the seams would be so you can get them on and off him easy. His drugs and papers are in the box. Will you need help getting him dressed?”

     “No Rag, I’ve got this. You can go.” Jack said eyeing the equipment distastefully. 

     “Pleasure doing business with you Mr. Harkness.” Rag offered his hand and let it hang in the air a moment before he got the hint that Jack wasn’t going to shake it and left.

     Jack lifted the harness. It was black with red trim made of vinyl. The main body was triangular with a buckle at each point, two for the hips one for the crotch. The back was little more than a strap riveted in place along the waistband, narrow at either end to thread through the buckles but wide in the middle to hold the phallus which snapped into the harness with six steel snaps. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before. Hell, he’d used some things like it with more adventurous lovers. While he debated whether or not he really needed to fit it onto the Doctor he inspected the paperwork, obvious forgeries to his eye but passable for spaceport authorities. The papers listed him as a 60 year old dulcian by the name of Debule Puttane. It also listed him as mentally disabled and listed Jack as his caretaker and legal representative. 

     While he was distracted the Doctor began rubbing himself once more and Jack decided with a sigh that he’d better fit him into the harness. As much as he hated it, it would be better than having the timelord expose himself on the way to the Tardis. He guided the other man back to the bed and laid him down, fitting the harness and pouch than snapping him into the pajamas. He also found a pair of slipper-socks with a soft sole and elasticized tops that wouldn’t fall off even if he shuffled his feet. 

     Clothed enough to prevent his arrest Jack guided him with an arm around his shoulders through the bar and to the Tardis. Those he passed snickered knowing just what kind of arrangement people dressed like that lived under. Jack didn’t notice, his whole world condensed down to one man’s journey of a hundred meters. Once aboard the Tardis Jack strapped the Doctor into the jump-seat and flicked the remote control to the ‘On’ position and set about flying them back to Earth.


	3. Chapter 3

     Martha was tired. She’d spent the last forty hours tracking and subduing a trio of blowfish who had taken it as their personal mission in life to consume every gram of cocaine to be found in Cardiff. If they’d been content to keep the violence to themselves she probably would have left them alone but no, they’d decided to add kidnapping to their itinerary and she had no doubt it would have ended up as murder had she not intervened. Still, she was tired. Which is why she nearly ignored her cell phone when it sounded its upbeat ring at half-past two in the morning.

     “Smith and Jones Investigations.” Martha answered professionally even though she’d yet to open her eyes.

     “My nightingale still singing?” Jack smiled into the receiver.

     “Jack?" Martha was instantly awake and up.”What are you doing back on Earth? Do I need to rush out and stop the apocalypse right now or can I catch a shower first?” 

     “Calm down, the world isn’t ending.” Jack reassured her “At least I don’t think it is and frankly, it isn’t my problem anymore if it is. I’ve got my own issues. The world can hang.” 

     “Well at this time in the morning this better not be a social call.” Martha said with a roll of her eyes even though Jack couldn’t see her.  “Cardiff didn’t stop being Cardiff just because you left and it has put a serious damper on my beauty rest.”

     “As if you could get any prettier.” Jack flirted out of habit. “No, a mutual friend needs a doctor and I wouldn’t trust this friend to A&E.”

     “A mutual friend? You don’t mean…” Martha gasped.

     “Yes I do. I mean. I really mean.” Jack looked over at his charge who was writhing in the jump seat. “I’d come to you but my current transport is a little unreliable without a more experienced pilot and the pilot isn’t capable of lacing his trainers right now.” 

     “Jack, is he stable? Is that him?” Martha asked in response to the low moan she heard over the receiver. “He’s not bleeding out while you are on the phone is he?” 

     “He’s stable Martha but I’m not saying anymore until you get here.” Jack smoothed the Doctor’s hair and tried to quiet him .“This isn’t a secure line. I’m disappointed in you that it isn’t, too. He isn’t going to deteriorate significantly in the time it takes to get here, so have your shower, grab a coffee and meet me on the Plass as soon as you can.”

     “Okay Jack, Call me if there are any changes.” said worriedly.

     “I will Martha, see you soon.” and with that Jack hung up. He looked over to see his friend and decided Martha shouldn’t see him this way first thing. While he waited for her to arrive he removed the harness and fastened the doctor into restraints in the medbay. The snap-on pajamas still didn’t leave much to the imagination so he covered the Doctor’s lower half with a thick blanket and bunched it up a bit to hide his erection. He’d just finished arranging her patient when he heard Martha call from the console room.

     “Jack? Doctor? Are you here?” 

     “In the medbay Martha” Jack shouted to her. 

     A few moments later and Martha came in carrying two hot drinks and her medical bag over her shoulder. She handed Jack his coffee and set hers down on a nearby table  fishing her stethoscope from her pocket to fit it in her ears. “What do we know Jack?”

     “Well, he’s got drugs in his system. It’s called paradise and is primarily used by sex workers off-planet. I don’t know if he took them voluntarily the first time but I do know that the people who had him were keeping him topped-up without his input.” Jack stood on the opposite side of the bed as Martha checked the Doctor’s vitals. “Getting him off it is going to be tricky, if we just stop giving it to him chances are he’ll start having seizures. It could leave him brain dead.”

     Martha frowned and pulled the blanket back to check his abdomen, her eyebrows shot up when she saw his erection tenting the fabric “Oh, wow, Hello.” Martha shook herself and continued the exam. “Something you forgot to mention Jack?”

     “That would be why it is taken by sex workers and it is going to have to be taken care of at regular intervals. Otherwise it won’t go away and will start to hurt him. If you know of a medical way to stop it I’m game but I’ve been taking care of it manually.” 

     Martha frowned and looked beneath the Doctor’s waistband. She noted his penis to be engorged and slightly discolored. “Contemporary treatment for priapism would be medication to restrict blood flow or  aspiration. I have no idea how he’d react to human medication and aspiration isn’t something that can be repeated routinely.  If manual stimulation is working, you should continue that way.” Martha looked at Jack seriously. “I hope you understand that isn’t a treatment within my purview and I’m going to expect you to continue providing it with the utmost discretion and respect for his person.” 

     “Yeah, No. He’s going to be ridiculously embarrassed that it’s happening at all. The fewer people to manhandle him the better.” Jack rubbed his hands down his face.

     “I’m serious Jack you need to be as professional as you can about this. I’m taking you at your word that it is medically necessary…” Martha began to lecture.

     “Taking me at my word, Martha? You think I’d lie about this? What the hell for?”

     “You’ve always wanted in his trousers…”

     “Yeah Martha and I wanted him in mine right back. If I wanted one sided sex, I’d masturbate and if I was keeping him as a sex slave I wouldn’t have called you.”

     Martha nodded, satisfied with his answer. “Alright, I trust you. I just had to be sure. You’ve got more experience with this drug, tell me what I need to know.”

     Jack told Martha everything he could remember about paradise and how to wean someone off of it, then he told Martha the circumstances he’d found their friend in. “My guess is he was there to shut the operation down and got hit with the drug and they decided to make him a part of the staff rather than just kill him.”

     “Thank goodness it was you who found him and not the sontarans or the daleks or any number of beings who could have” Martha shuddered.

     “Yeah, those guys had no idea who or what he was. I think ‘Last of the Timelords’ would probably be out of my price range.” 

     While the two were talking the Doctor became increasingly agitated until Jack and Martha couldn’t ignore him anymore. “I’m going to need to….If you want to step out?” Jack gestured to the Doctor.

     “Yes, of course. How long do you need?” Martha began picking up her things to leave the medbay.

     “15 minutes? I can be pretty fast when I want to be. Why don’t you find us a hotel room? There is a boutique hotel called Jolyons, it is closest. Drop my name, I’ve worked with them in past. We don’t want to have to go very far with him in this state but as long as he’s on the Tardis, he has to be physically restrained. We can’t risk him accidentally tearing a hole in the vortex rubbing against the console.”

     Martha called to make the reservation but even invoking the Captain they had no vacancies until Monday which left a day and a half of restraints for the Doctor. After the Doctor was sorted she and Jack decided that it was in his best interest to wear the harness and remain in the medbay restrained at the wrists and ankles. It pained her to see him that way but Jack’s stories of addicts who rubbed themselves raw bolstered her resolve. 

     Matha tried to familiarize herself with the medbay but most of the equipment was beyond her training. A few things like IVs she recognized and Jack showed her how to use a hypospray but he was at best a field medic. He could splint bones and stabilize for transport but he wasn’t familiar with any of the Doctor’s diagnostic equipment. Matha tried suggesting UNIT but Jack was adamant that they keep this as quiet as possible. 

     “It isn’t just aliens who are dangerous to him Martha. I want to keep this to the companions club or maybe Gwen if she’s willing but UNIT reports to government agencies and you can’t tell me they are all on his side” Jack insisted  “Besides Martha, if he wakes up in a UNIT hospital and finds out a team of doctors, nurses and scientists have seen him humping the mattress and giving him hand-jobs every two hours, he’ll regenerate out of embarrassment. He’ll probably leave Earth until everyone who knows about it has died of old age. No, we’ll go to a hotel until I can secure a flat. You can outfit it with what you’ll need, I’ll pay for everything.” 

     “It’s not that simple Jack, how are we going to feed him? I doubt he’s going to pick up a fork in this condition.” Martha complained

     “They’ll have trained him to suck on anything put in his mouth.” Jack offered  “A baby bottle would probably be too small but you could get one made for livestock and that would probably work.”

     Martha frowned “I’d be more comfortable with an ng tube. He might aspirate the formula otherwise. You might not have thought about it but the formula we’ll be using is specifically designed for humans. If his requirements are different he could experience symptoms of deficiency soon. I doubt they were using a carefully prepared liquid diet at this brothel and he’s already noticeably lost weight.”

     “No chances are they’ve been using Synthivite. It’s a general purpose synthetic nutritional drink used the universe over by people who can’t afford real food for space travel.” Jack explained “It only takes about a shot glass a day to keep someone alive but it is meant for short time periods between stints on planets with real food.”

     “I could really use a lab Jack, we could monitor his blood work to see if anything drops significantly and supplement based on that.” Martha pleaded.

     “No Matha. His readings now may not be any closer to what they should be than they will after a month on the feeding tube. He has already been off his normal diet for months. Nothing says his current levels are correct. Without a baseline for what he should be making corrections could be disastrous.” Jack explained “He ate more or less like a human when we traveled with him and his dietary quirks could be personal preference rather than nutritional need. If we supplement potassium just because he ate a lot of bananas we could easily overdose him and we may not be able to tell he’d had too much before he goes into kidney failure.”

     “Ok Jack, how about a compromise? I’ll give you six weeks in a flat to get him coherent enough to tell us if we’re poisoning him. If he can’t respond by then or if any of his systems show signs of failure before then we go to UNIT.” Martha offered.

     “I can live with that. He should be weaned off the drugs by then. Honestly he has to be because I can’t easily get more. We’ll give him a ¾ dose for a week, then ½ then ¼  then ⅛ and then he should be off of it.”

     “I’d rather decrease the dose by 5% each day until he comes off of it. The sudden step down will be harder on his systems then a gradual tapering and being injectable we can titrate his amount as needed.” Martha explained. “That will also give us some wiggle room in case he does not tolerate the decrease well. Also, He is currently receiving injections twice a day, I’d like to spread it to four times a day. Right now he shows the beginnings of withdrawal symptoms between doses. If we keep it in his system consistently we should avoid that.”

     “That’s why I called you, all that wonderful medical knowledge.” Jack grinned

     “I’m not just a pretty face you know.”  Martha replied

     “Never a doubt in my mind, Now I’m going to work on getting some of my credits converted back to Earth currency.” Jack started to head back to the medbay “You call Gwen see if she can offer us a hand. She’d be best placed to know which flats are still alien friendly or at least no-questions-asked.”

     “Oh no, Jack, not a chance. If you want Gwen’s help you’re going to have to call her yourself. I’m not stepping into that mess.” Martha insisted. “Besides, I’ve got to call Mickey and get him here to explain all this to him. I’m not going to be able to swan off and abandon my husband for a month while the Doctor gets sorted.”


	4. Chapter 4

     “Mickey it isn’t funny” Marth frowned as her husband laughed.

     “Oh come on it is. Mr. Superior Biology has a case of the deadly boners and I’m not supposed to laugh?” Mickey tried to point out the humor.

     “No, you are not. A dear friend of mine has been drugged and taken advantage of.” Martha countered. “You are supposed to be understanding and horrified not taking the piss.”

     “I’m sorry hon, I’ll be good. If you had any idea how many laughs he had at my expense you wouldn’t be so mad.” Mickey wiped at the tears his mirth had formed at the corners of his eyes.

     “I need you to take the high-road. No matter how mean to you he was he needs us right now. He is totally helpless. He needs us to feed him, to keep him clean…”

     “To jerk him off.” Mickey laughed again, unable to contain himself.

     “Michael Smith if you cannot be sensitive about this you best be prepared for six-weeks by yourself because I won’t leave him uncared for and you’ll not be allowed around him if all you do is rub his nose in this very unfortunate situation.” Martha said sternly “He was probably trying to shut these people down when they took him prisoner. What would you be saying if it was me strapped to a bed right now?”

     “I’d be saying ‘Jack, if you want to keep that hand you’ll keep it off my girl.’ I bet Captain Cheesecake is loving this.” Mickey quipped.

     Martha folded her arms across her chest and gave Mickey her best death glare. “You think Jack is enjoying being forced to repeatedly assault a man who he respects and admires.”

     “Assault? It isn’t really assault if he needs it is it?” Mickey wheedled “And Jack fancies him.”

     “You’re right, Jack fancies him. When he comes to he’ll probably be so embarrassed he’ll never be able to look him in the eye again. There is no way to look at this as consensual. Jack is probably throwing whatever miniscule chance he had with him out the window to care for him now.”

     Mickey sighed. “Okay Babe, I’m sorry, I really am. I’ve got it out of my system. What do you need me to do to help?”

     Martha softened slightly. “I’ll take you to see him, he’s going to need IV fluids to keep him from getting dehydrated and he won’t be still so someone needs to sit with him while they are running and make sure he doesn't pull the line out with his thrashing. I need to visit with some people about a flat because he can’t stay on the Tardis unless he’s restrained and a month in bed will leave him with severe muscle wastage.”

     Five different jokes died on Mickeys lips as he was led into the medbay and saw the state of the Doctor. The time lord was sweating profusely and crying out in distress. He wiggled and writhed on the bed. He looked more tortured than aroused and Mickey said so.

     “Part of the drug creates a dependency on the oxytocin and dopamine his own body produces.” Martha explained “You get that from physical contact. Right now it’s like he’s in a sensory deprivation chamber as far as he’s concerned. According to what Jack said even if he wasn’t servicing a client he would be constantly touched by the patrons of the bar or his handlers. This is what he looks like after an hour and a half alone in the bed.”

     “What can I do?” Mickey asked

     “Wipe him down with a flannel, pet his head, hold his hand.” Martha said gently “Jack and I can’t be here 24 hours a day but being alone is his personal hell right now. The only consolation we have is that Jack says he won’t remember being in this state.”

     “Thank god for small mercies.” Mickey said as he tentatively ran a hand through the Doctor’s hair. The Doctor arched from the bed and tried with all his power to push himself into his hand. Bolstered by his reaction Mickey began making shushing noises stroking the Doctor on the head, face and arms in an attempt to calm him.

     Matha took the opportunity to set an IV and hang a bag of saline while Mickey provided what comfort he could then she left him to it. She stepped out of the Tardis to get some air and see how Jack’s phone call with Gwen was coming. She found him standing near the water tower with his phone an arm’s length from his ear and as she approached she could hear the words ‘reckless’ ‘abandoned’ and ‘justified’. It didn’t take a genius to tell it wasn’t going well.

     She looked at Jack with the question in her eyes and he held up a hand signaling her to wait. After a few minutes the voice on the line became quiet and Jack moved the receiver back to his ear.

     “You’re absolutely right, I’m swine. I deserve nothing. Are you still coming?” Jack said quickly and as contritly as he could then jerked the phone away from his ear once more for the second onslaught.

     Martha waited patiently as she listened to Jack turn on the charm and diffuse the bomb that was Gwen Cooper. In the end after the apologies some slight begging and many appeals to her better nature, she was on her way with only a few threats of bodily harm.

     “She’ll help us.” Jack said simply

     “Is that all?” Martha asked

     “No, but it is the short version and that is all that matters right now.”

     “And the baby?” Martha asked

     “Staying with Rhys. Apparently life got complicated while I was gone, well, more complicated.” Jack explained “A good number of our safe-houses were compromised and Gwen is understandably worried about her family's safety. A flat isn’t good enough. We’re going to need to buy a house. Someplace as secluded as possible and big enough for all of us.”

     “You can’t buy a house just like that, Jack.” Martha insisted. “Buying a house is a long process and we’ll have to furnish it. Not to mention you said you didn’t want to have to travel long distances with the Doctor like he is.”

     “You’ll find it can all be done quite quickly when money is no object.” Jack said dismissively “Now if I remember correctly your husband has all of that alternate universe Torchwood tech experience and I’m going to need it. The two of you are going to get shiny new identities and go house hunting. Try for 5 bedrooms or more. Gwen has a SUV we can move him in once the place is furnished. I’m going to have my hands full with him. He’s already been left alone too long.”

     “He isn’t alone, I left Mickey with him.” Martha reassured him.

     “Are you sure that was wise?” Jack questioned “They don’t exactly have the best rapport.”

     “He was picking on him a bit when he found out.” Martha admitted “That stopped as soon as he saw him. I can’t believe he’s deteriorating so quickly. When I took Mickey in to see him he was covered in sweat and hysterical. If he was with it enough to beg I’m sure he would at this point.”

     “Is he hurting himself or do I have a few minutes for another phone call?” Jack asked

     “He’ll probably have some minor bruising under the restraints as it is. I’d rather you take care of him again before your phone call and I’ll sit with him when that has been done. You said it’d be every two hours and it’s been an two hours and forty-five.”

     “Shit, has it been that long?” Jack glanced at his wrist comp and then started back to the Tardis. “Gwen took longer than I’d anticipated. I’ll set an alarm to go off every hour and half. Being tied down might be accelerating the withdraw since he doesn't have the casual contact.”

     When they arrived in the medbay Mickey was trying desperately to comfort the Doctor without much success. The man was pulling on his restraints violently and making a wailing noise no human throat could achieve. Tears were streaming down his face, mixing with the sweat making his sheets a bit damp. Jack took Mickey’s place by his side and filled him in quickly on what he needed him to do. Mickey headed back to the flat he shared with Martha to work on the required documents while Martha detached the IV and covered the removed the cannula.

     With that Martha left and Jack removed the Doctor’s pajamas via the snaps without releasing him from the restraints. He tossed them into the Tardis laundry hoping it wouldn’t take long because it would be hard for him to wear anything else. He didn’t exactly assist when you were dressing him after all.

     When Jack returned to the Doctor and wrapped his hand around his member the Doctor yelped and shyed back. Jack cursed himself for allowing it to go long enough to become painful and climbed on the bed with his friend. He gave the Doctor as much body contact as he could and stroked him gently, whispering endearments into his hair as he waited for pleasure to override pain in the timelord. When it became clear his hand wasn’t going to be enough he slid down the timelord’s form and retrieved a small bottle of lube from his trouser pocket.

     He slicked his finger and tentatively pressed it to the Doctor’s entrance. The response was immediate as the timelord pushed himself down to take Jack’s finger into his body. Rag was right, the Doctor was virgin tight, which made it a little difficult because he was trying to ride Jack’s hand hard and fast and if he kept that up he was going to tear. Jack used his free hand to release one of the Doctor’s legs which he immediately drew up to give Jack better access.

     Jack eased a second finger inside and began to feel around inside the other man. A short distance inside a large portion of the passage branched off leaving a narrower passage going straight and the large curving slightly upward. The larger passage had an area towards the front with ribbed tissue. Jack smiled, in the fifty-first century men were built more like this and if he were right that ribbed tissue would feel wonderful when rubbed. He crooked his fingers and the Doctor responded quite favorably. Jack explored a little to see if he could find any more similarities and was rewarded for his efforts by locating the area where he could stimulate the doctor’s prostate. Pleased with his discovery he curved his fingers and applied forward pressure in addition to the thrusting that was sufficient for a 21st century man.

     It had been a long time since he had played with a body built like his own. He lost himself a little bringing the Doctor pleasure. This was the sex he grew up with and it was glorious to imagine the Doctor being able to feel pleasure in the same way he did. It wasn’t that men didn’t like sex with men during the 21st it just wasn’t the same. He’d been relegated mostly to the role of top in his relationships since the game station because in the local time zone anyone with experience would know that Jack was different.

     Finding those same differences in the Doctor was incredibly hot and even as he chastised himself for losing his detachment his own cock ached to be taken care of. If he was right he could make the Doctor come without touching his cock again which was really fortunate in these circumstances because touching his overly-engorged member was bringing him pain. He released the Doctor’s other leg and folded him nearly double working his passage in a figure eight, the top loop pressing into his prostate and the lower stimulating the ribbed tissue. Mere minutes after he started the motion the Doctor let loose a stream of come over his belly and cry of satisfaction.

     With the Doctor sated and still for the moment, Jack turned away from him, pulled open his trousers and took himself in hand. It didn’t take long for him to lose it with the image of the Doctor’s face as he came fresh in his mind. He took deep calming breaths and kicked himself for letting himself get this worked up. He vowed not to let it go as long as he had again. As long as he kept within the two hour window he could stay detached and clinical.

     He undid the restraints at the timelord’s wrists and guided him out of the bed and onto shaky legs. He tossed his clothing and the bedding into the laundry and took his charge to a nearby room for a shower. The drugged man kept trying to lay his head down on Jack’s shoulder instead of standing in the flow of water so Jack got in and held him while he washed away the sweat and semen as best as he could. When they got back to the medbay both sets of clothing were clean and waiting for them. He thanked the Tardis silently and got the other man dressed before crawling in the bed with him. Choosing to hold him for now rather than tie him down again. It wasn’t much of an apology but it was the best he could do.


	5. Chapter 5

     When Jack didn’t come and tell Martha he’d finished she got worried. She really didn’t want to walk in on the act but the Doctor needed his fluids and Jack had said he needed to make phone calls to help secure a new base of operations. She expected Mickey would have everything ready by Monday and they could keep their stay in the Hotel short but nothing was going to move forward without funds and Jack wouldn’t likely be able to do much banking on a Sunday. She listened at the door way several long moments trying to determine if they were done or not before she came in the room.

     When she saw them curled around each other asleep with wet hair she hated that she’d have to disturb them. With great reluctance she put a hand on Jack’s shoulder and shook it a bit.

     “No Ianto, let's stay here awhile longer.” Jack muttered and cuddled tighter with the sleeping Doctor.

     Martha’s heart broke for the immortal. Kicking herself even more for disturbing his peace she called his name. “Jack, hey Jack, you need to wake up.”

     Jack startled awake and looked down at the man in his arms disappointed it wasn’t his lover. He disentangled himself from the timelord’s limbs and put a pillow in his arms. He could see the bruises coming out along his wrists from battling the restraints.

     “Don’t tie him up yet, I won’t be long and once I’m done I can stay with him until Gwen gets here tomorrow.”

     Martha nodded her agreement. “I’ll leave off the IV until you get back and we’ll see if you can keep him from messing with it. If not we won’t have a choice but to use the restraints again. If he wakes and I can’t keep him still and on the bed I’ll have to call you back, so don’t go far.”

     “I’ll be just outside the door. Unlike Gwen, I don’t expect the bank to shout at me.” Jack smiled at her and closed the door behind him.

     Martha brushed the hair out of the Doctor’s face and sat on the bed beside him. 15 minutes later the Doctor began to stir. She didn’t want to call out to Jack and risk waking him up the rest of the way so she ran her fingers through his hair, noting that it was a little long, to calm him. The Doctor rolled from his side to his belly and began rocking his hips into the mattress. Martha blushed furiously when she realized what he was doing but he wasn’t in any danger so she left him be. 

     She tried not to watch him but curiosity won out. He didn’t seem to be doing it with any goal in mind. It wasn’t fast or regular enough to bring him to orgasm. It must have just felt good to him. She wondered absently if it would be better to have him face down when he was restrained so he could give himself this bit of stimulation. That got her wondering what else they could do to keep him comfortable when someone couldn’t be with him. Surely there were toys that could be used. She’d bring it up to Jack when he returned. 

     Jack came back in and Martha jumped off the bed like she’d been shocked blushing and stuttering. “I wasn’t...he started doing it on his own...I didn’t think I should stop him …”

     Jack came over and watched the timelord lazily thrust for a few moments and looked back at Martha. “He’ll do that if he can. It isn’t hurting him, he isn’t even all the way awake yet. Don’t worry about it.”  Jack moved a pillow away from the Doctor’s face so he wasn’t breathing through it.

     “Do you, um...Do you think he’d benefit from being on his stomach when we restrain him? So he can, you know...do that.” Martha gestured towards him.

     “I don’t know. He was gasping for breath when I came in earlier, I don’t want him to asphyxiate himself if he gets distressed. I think we should let him do it if someone is with him and we might put both sets of restraints on one side of the bed so he can lay on his side if we’re careful that he can’t bring his hands to his genitals.”

     “Would it really be all that bad if he could touch himself?” Martha asked.

     “That isn’t a good idea. He doesn't have any coordination. He’s likely to just yank on it and the more desperate he gets the harder he’ll pull.” Jack cautioned

     Martha nodded her understanding “What about artificial stimulation?”

     “What like toys?” Martha nodded at him. “Some toys might delay how fast he needs personal attention. They actually sent something along with him to keep him relatively still during spaceflight. It is a harness with a vibrating plug attached. It couldn’t be used all the time because continuous strong vibrations will eventually cause him to go a little numb and he'll become desensitized to the sensation and we really need to save that for when he has to be moved through public areas or long car rides. A regular plug with a curved end piece that he could rock on and stimulate himself might help but just like thrusting into the bed, he isn’t going to be able to get himself off without outside assistance.”

     “So there is no sort of machine that could do it for you?” Martha wondered.

     “Not really, there are fucking machines that are used on the BDSM scene as punishment but they couldn’t be used on him unless someone was right there with him making sure he didn’t slide into the wrong position. They are also really rough and each time he’s penetrated it is like the first time because of how fast and how thoroughly he heals. He’s got some anatomical features that make me think his species probably had sex with both genders but if they did they must have been really careful and had lots of foreplay.

     “There are also electronic devices, sort of like a tens unit, we could use but they have to be special ordered and they are very intense and and I’d be extremely hesitant to use a violet wand on a partner who couldn’t respond to me and using it without someone here would be absolutely out of the question because it could cause burns or if we were really unlucky it could interfere with the electrical signals in his hearts.”  

     Jack looked back at Martha and noticed her eyes were as wide as saucers and he laughed. “More than you wanted to know, Nightingale?”

     “Do people really shock themselves  _ there?”  _ Martha couldn’t keep the astonishment from her voice.

     “Yes, and with an experienced partner monitoring you it can be mind-blowing. It can make you come over and over again for hours. We don’t really need to think about that though because, like I said, It isn’t to be used on an impaired partner.”

     Martha shook herself to clear the thought from her head. “Okay Jack, I’d like to examine him and then set the IV. So help me remove his pajamas. Tomorrow I’m going to get the medical supplies I need and see if I can find him something suitable to wear. Chances are it will be some sort of gown.”

     Jack wrinkled his nose. “Oh Martha, does he have to wear a gown? He has little enough modesty in the pajamas, he’ll be horrified if he wakes up with his bum hanging out the back of a hospital gown.”

     “Unless you’ve got a couple more pairs just like this I don’t see that we have a choice. He’ll need to be changed frequently with the amount of bodily fluids he’ll be exposed to. I’m surprised you’ve kept these clean this long.” Martha grabbed a pair of gloves and slipped them on her hands.

     “I didn’t, the Tardis has about a fifteen minute wash and dry cycle.”

     “Really? That’s helpful. Not to useful when we are at a hotel but I’m assuming we’ll move the Tardis into the house when we find one. I’ll be sure the ceilings are high.” 

     Jack nodded as he began to unsnap the Doctor’s pajamas, trying to disturb him as little as possible. When he had the trousers removed Martha frowned and spread the cheeks of his bottom to view his anus.

     “Jack, did you penetrate him today?” Martha asked accusingly

     “Yes, but only with my fingers.” Jack defended himself “His penis was too sore from the long erection to get him off that way. He yelped and cried when I tried. Let me turn him over and I’ll show you.”

     Jack gently rolled the Doctor onto his back and let Martha inspect his semi-erect penis. There was dark bruising where it looked like some blood vessels had burst and when she took him in her hand to see the other side he whined. In addition to the bruising he was starting to get a little raw from the friction and frequency of the manual stimulation.

     “Let me ask you something Jack, when he was held in the brothel did they stimulate him primarily internally or externally?”

     “Martha, you don’t rent a prostitute to jack them off. They would have fucked him, they wouldn’t have really cared whether he got off or not. He would have come from being fucked or not at all.”

     Martha nodded her understanding. “That’s what I thought. I know you said he heals fast but it looks like he hasn’t quite recovered from your earlier session. From what you’ve told me he’s been serviced every couple of hours for over a day now. Would he have had rest periods at the brothel?”

     “Yeah they tied him up and let him start withdrawing every morning, not long enough for seizures to start but he would have cramps, tremors, nausea, dizziness, and everything else you’d expect before they gave him another dose.” Jack said “He probably worked about 18 hours of every 24.”

     “I think that might have been when he did the majority of his healing. Do you see this redness?” Martha pointed out the area midshaft. “I believe it is a friction burn. I don’t want him to suffer withdrawal because we’d have to give him a loading dose at the end of the withdrawal period to get his levels back up and we want to avoid that yo-yo effect because he’ll have to be on the drug longer if it isn’t gradually tapered off like we discussed.”

     “Okay, but as long as the drug is high in his system, he’s going to need release. You saw what happened when he was made to wait.” Jack gestured to the bruising

     “No, you are right, he needs it but we may need to alternate how he is stimulated. 6 hours external, 6 hours internal. Give him a chance to heal each area in turn and when you stimulate him he needs to be well lubricated, regardless of which method you are using.”

     Jack closed his eyes a moment and sighed. “Martha when I use my hands inside him it is really hard to seperate it from sex in my head.”

     Martha smiled sympathetically. “Jack, I’ve seen the way you look at him, that had to be ridiculously hard anyway.”

     Jack nodded and Martha continued. “It is absolutely natural and expected that you should feel aroused when performing a sex act on someone you are attracted to. You are only human.”

     Jack shook his head “It still feels wrong, Martha.”

     “I know Jack. I think this might actually be harder on you than it is on him if you are right and he doesn't remember this part.” Martha removed her gloves and squeezed his shoulder. “It is going to be alright. He’ll understand we only did what we had to do to keep him safe. We don’t have to go into the specific why’s and how’s with him when he wakes up.”

     Jack shook his head again “We can’t hide it from him Martha.”

     “I’m not saying we should. I’m saying unless he asks we can leave the particulars vague. Think of it this way, you didn’t give him the explicit details of each and every way you died at the Master’s hands did you?”

     “No, he didn’t need to hear that” Jack said.

     “This is the same, another trial you’ll go through to take care of him, and he doesn't need to know how it made you feel to make him ejaculate anymore than he needed to know how it made you feel to die repeatedly in his place.”

     Jack nodded his understanding even if he wasn’t sure he agreed.

     “Now here’s my advice, my purely medical advice: Use lubrication, alternate sites of stimulation and sleep when he sleeps.” Martha pulled a clean pair of gloves from  the box on the counter and began to set a new IV. “Hold him and distract him while the IV is running. When it is time to stimulate him again you can clamp the tube and disconnect it so he doesn't pull it out with his movements but once he’s calm again, hook it back up. He needs the fluids. Tomorrow I’ll insert an nasogastric tube and we can use that to feed and hydrate him.”

     As soon as she was done Jack sat on the bed and pulled the time lord into his lap to do as he’d been told. He’d never allow his personal feeling to get in the way of what his friend needed, no matter how much it hurt. Martha left to go home to her husband and Jack was left alone with his charge and his guilt. Guilt that a part of him, however small, was enjoying having the Doctor like this.


	6. Chapter 6

     Gwen arrived early Sunday morning and wandered around the Plass before noticing the Blue police box situated on what would have been the secret elevator were the hub still underground. Apparently the perception filter still worked even if the paving stone didn’t go anywhere anymore. She knocked, waited and knocked again but got no answer so she pulled out her phone and called Jack. He sounded like he just woke up but promised he’d be out in just a moment.

     A few minutes later the door opened and Jack stood inside a room that couldn’t possibly fit inside such a tiny box. Gwen learned inside and looked around and then walked around the box touching the back and sides looking for an invisible room attached to the little police box. Finding nothing she walked back to the doors and stepped through them, looking around with wonder.

     “It’s bigger on the inside.” She said in an awe struck voice

     Jack laughed and nodded. “Takes some getting used to.” He said as he closed the doors. “We’re going to have to continue this conversation in the Medbay. I had to restrain him to answer the door and I don’t want him tied up unless he has to be.” Jack walked swiftly back into the corridor on the other side of the console room leaving Gwen to gape at the sight around her before realizing she was being left behind and sprinting to catch up.

     Jack was already loosening the cuffs around the Doctor’s wrists when Gwen came in. He didn’t seem to be interested in anything but sleeping and as Jack released each limb he pulled it into himself, finally rolling onto his side and drifting off again.

     “Can’t we leave him alone while he’s sleeping? If he’s as bad as you said I don’t want our talking to disturb him.” Gwen said quietly

     “When he sleeps you could throw a party in here without waking him but I can’t leave him at all. He only really naps. Usually they last about an hour, as he gets better his physical needs will reduce and he might sleep for longer stretches.”

      “Well you look like you have it in hand so why am I here?”

     “Everyone I’ve told, I’ve told for a reason. I called Martha because I needed a doctor for him to keep him alive until he can take care of himself. Mickey is acting as our tech, which we need but honestly the reason it is  _ him  _ is because he’s married to Martha. You complete the team, you were one of the best damn field agents I’ve had and this one,” Jack motioned to the Doctor. “He’s a trouble magnet. Everything is subject to Sod’s law where he is concerned and I’m occupied with more intimate aspects of his care. That makes me his last line of defense. I need someone with their feet on the ground making sure any little fire that pops up is snuffed out well before it reaches here.”

     “So that’s it then, you expect me to jump right back into the old job? We’re in hiding Jack. My family is in danger and you want me to leave them and come protect your friend?” Gwen accused. 

     “No, I want you to bring your family here. Well not  _ here.  _ I’m buying a house outside the city. Someplace low key. I guarantee that when I’m done it will be the safest place in Wales and when all this is over, I want you to keep it. Consider it your salary.” Jack offered “I’ll have Mickey work on new identities for the three you too.”

     “Your friends condition isn’t exactly family friendly Jack, what will Rhys say?” Gwen worried.

     “I’m hoping to get a multi-level house with you on the ground floor and us on the upper level. You’ll field the neighbors and we’ll keep to ourselves. We don’t expect to be there forever. This could take as little as 20 days or as much as 3 months.” Jack explained “Really, I’m being overly cautious. Nothing can be left to chance when it comes to him, he’s too important.”

     “I’ll talk it over with Rhys. He isn’t going to be happy about being dragged back into Torchwood.” Gwen fretted

     “This isn’t Torchwood Gwen, it is just me. We won’t be acting in any official capacity. We’ll just be protecting the man who has repeatedly stepped in at Earth’s darkest hours and pulled us back from the brink.” Jack said seriously.

     “Okay Jack. I’ll think about it and when I get home, I’ll talk to Rhys. What did you need me here for today?” Gwen asked.

     “Today I need you meet up with Martha and the two of you decide what we need in a house. I don’t want you to be stuck living someplace you hate but it needs to meet his medical needs too.” Jack said as he kept one eye on his sleeping friend. “That means the doorways have to be wide enough for wheelchairs we can fit a shower chair into at least one bathroom. The stairway has to be able to be blocked off so he can’t fall down them while still giving him a fairly large area to roam.”

     “Rhys and I were thinking of Pentyrch. No one really knows us out that way but we can still get to family fast if something happens.” Gwen offered.

     “I bet it doesn't hurt that rift rarely dumps anything out that way.” Jack smiled

     “It right have helped.” Gwen admitted.

     “Suits our purposes too. I didn’t come back to get into the planet saving business again. He needs to heal, not run for his life.” Jack smoothed the blanket covering the Doctor. “Though I can’t tell you how much I’d love to see him running again...or talking. Just talking. He never shut up and he hasn’t strung more than two words together since I found him.”

     “He’ll get there Jack. Your Doctor has been through worse than this. Wasn’t long ago he was staring down daleks.”

     “Yeah and the instant we patch him up he’ll be out there again, spitting in danger’s eye.” Jack grinned wistfully. “I only hope next time he falls someone is there to catch him.”

     “Where am I meeting Martha, then.” Gwen asked 

     As it happened, Gwen and Matha met up at a local Cafe. Martha had spent the night making a list of requirements instead of sleeping. She didn’t know if she agreed with Jack about the length of time they’d be staying and she wanted to get it right. While she hadn’t had much opportunity to work with addicts she knew that getting through physical withdraw was sometimes the easy part. They didn’t know if the Doctor was capable of psychological dependance but he was a man who ran from his problems and it was in Martha’s nature to worry.

     With that in mind Martha’s list detailed not only what she wanted from a strictly medical standpoint but also what she wanted to prevent him from leaving before he was ready. Martha expected some opposition from Jack if it came to that but she could make sure the house she choose was suitable. The differences were not big but Martha wanted to be cautious. Some things on here list, like a seperate garage to store the Tardis rather than keeping it in the main house, were simple. Some might require help from Jack. 

     Even with the loss of the sonic screwdriver there were not many locks that could hold the Doctor. She had already decided all the exit doors would need to be capable of a deadlock seal. Windows, while she wanted them to be plentiful would need to be fitted with both deadlocks and shatter-proof glass if they were large enough for a person to get through. All of this was as much to keep unwanted visitors out as it was to keep him in but a niggling feeling in the pit of her stomach told her they’d need it one way or another.

     Gwen for her part was much more concerned with carpets versus hardwood and a large garden. They both agreed on the need for ample parking and while they wanted a rural or semi-rural location they also wanted reasonably easy access to the motorway. Schools were of course on Gwen’s priority list and she suggested a good pub nearby wouldn’t go amiss with Rhys. 

     While it didn’t need to be completely isolated they wanted enough space between the houses that the neighbors wouldn’t hear shouting because both ladies expected some spectacular rows with seven people under one roof.  They needed a well-appointed kitchen to handle the large meals and while it wasn’t strictly necessary a dedicated utility room would be very nice. 

     A bathroom for each couple was high on the list though Martha conceded that she and Mickey could share with Jack and the Doctor but it would be difficult if that bathroom was an en suite as that meant that either Jack would have to carry the Doctor through Martha’s bedroom or they’d risk disturbing the Doctor every time someone needed the loo. Gwen had offered to be the one to share with Martha but it was pointed out that while Jack would be providing the Doctor’s “physical therapy” she would be the one doing everything else he needed and they intended to block the stairs to keep the Doctor from falling down them so it might be more of a hassle to go down stairs than to just wait. Still she appreciate the sentiment and was glad they wouldn’t fight about who had to do their business where. 

     Thankfully for the group of prospective housemates, everyone involved had experienced real problems so no one expected the trivial things to really bother anyone. After walking a year through a desolate post-apocalyptic world, Martha wasn’t one to lose her temper because someone used all the milk and she expected a similar attitude for everyone involved except maybe Rhys because he had been on the peripheral during most of the trails.

     Armed with a well defined list Matha sent Gwen home to break the news to Rhys while she retired home for some much needed sleep. She and Mickey would be meeting the Estate agent in the morning while Gwen had agreed to meet with Jack at 2 to transfer the Doctor to Jolyons. 


	7. Chapter 7

     Jack had never taken this long to prepare for a trip this short. It was literally a walk across the Plass but it felt like a six-month military campaign. He’d spent hours in the wardrobe room searching for just the right clothing for the Doctor to wear on his first trip into public. The pajamas were perfect when they were alone, easy to remove and easy to clean, but they would not do at all for the trip. 

     Jack had considered his suit as he never looked right in anything else but dismissed it as far too complicated. It had far too many layers and would show every line of the harness the Doctor was going to have to wear under his clothes. He’d never get a pair of jeans on the man without his assistance so eventually he settled on a plain back track suit and white t-shirt. 

     Shoes were worse. His high-tops were out of the question, he’d break his ankle trying to get them on. After three trips to the wardrobe room he finally found a pair of green low-top chucks that he thought would work. He couldn’t do anything about the man’s hair. He was definitely shaggy but nothing Jack could contrive would keep the man sitting still with his head up. He almost shaved it off in a fit of pique but knew he would never be forgiven for such a transgression. He did manage to shave his face, though he had to restrain him to the bed and hold him by the forehead to manage it.

     Between each trip to the wardrobe room he’d wake the Doctor, rub his arms and legs to keep the circulation and bring him to orgasm. He hoped that by taking care of him as many times as possible in the morning he’d make it through the afternoon without the need becoming urgent. 

     Around noon he guided the Doctor through the corridors to practice going up and down stairs. It took a few trips to master but he knew he could do it as there were steps at the bar. It just took awhile to get the knack. It turned out he could steer his friend just about anywhere with one hand on his arm and the other on the small of his back. He was very glad of that because there was no lift at Jolyons.

     Even with the wait, he was glad they’d be staying there. Being the only hotel with line of sight from the hub, Jack had cause to stay there many times over the years. They were very polite, they never had a word to say about any of the strange guests he’d checked in and though they now charged him twice the going rate as a matter of course, they had taken care of any mess he’d ever made. They wouldn’t question the number of people entering and leaving the room or if one guest entered the room and never came out again. They didn’t trouble him when he would request to exchange linens outside the door rather than have housekeeping come in either.

     He called ahead and learned he’d be staying in room 4 which boasted lovely Victorian furniture and could be set up as two single beds. If memory served it was at the top of the first flight of stairs and though the wall paper was a bit much it was only on one wall and the en suite was ideal for the Doctor featuring a tub with a shower head he could recline in and be washed.

     While he was on the line with them he confirmed that he would be the only guest checking in today. He knew from past experience they would allow him to arrange a seperate check in time if he wanted to avoid a line but with only seven rooms that was rarely a problem. He explained that he would be staying with someone developmentally handicapped and they allowed him to complete everything over the phone. The only thing left to do when he arrived was pick up the room key.

     For a man who constantly traveled, the Doctor owned surprisingly little hand luggage. Or perhaps that wasn’t surprising since the Tardis was the ultimate luggage herself carrying everything he owned while being his transport and his house at the same time all tucked into a package that could be hidden in a cupboard. Still you’d think he’d have more then a single set of 1960’s Samsonite suitcases in moss green.

     Jack himself rarely traveled with more than the clothes on his back and a side arm. He’d abandoned so many things in the heat of one crisis or another it just got easier not to own anything. He hadn’t even taken a spare shirt when he left earth, it felt frivolous to go shopping at the time and he knew he’d get by. Laundry service was so much better off-planet and he’d never had a problem sleeping in his skin. He wore pants as a courtesy with the Doctor, mostly because he’d been told off by a grumpy northerner. It was made quite clear that if he offended Rose he’d be left unceremoniously at the next port-of-call.

     Jack packed a week’s worth of clothes for the Doctor and some spare batteries for the harness. They we’re off-world design so he couldn’t send someone out for a new pack should they die and he had no idea how old they were. Fortunately, what the Doctor lacked in luggage he made up for in spare parts. He’d found a room containing every battery Jack had ever seen regardless of time zone or planet plus a few that were totally alien. 

     With everything packed he turned his attention back to the timelord. He brought him off one last time before fitting the harness and dressing him in the new clothes. He slipped the remote into the pocket of his greatcoat just as Gwen rang him to alert him to her arrival. He restrained the Doctor long enough to let her in and brief her on the plan. Gwen carried his suitcase in one hand and held his arm with the other while Jack had one hand on his arm and the other on the small of his back like they practiced.

     The trip went off without a hitch except for the Doctor’s tendency to try and sit on the ground every time they paused. His morning had tired him out so his head hung down and he frequently leaned on Jack for support. The staff at Jolyons, as usual, asked no questions providing his room key and leaving them to guide their friend up the staircase. Jack let Gwen open the door and busied himself preventing the timelord from taking a nap in the hall.

     Shortly after getting the Doctor settled down for a nap in the bed farthest from the window and unpacking their scant luggage Martha and Mickey arrived to go over the short list of properties. All of the homes they had chosen were vacant so there wouldn’t be any waiting for current residents to move and had ample bedrooms. 

     There was a posh 6-bedroom in Lisvane and a 5 bedroom with a double garage in Marshfield but the one that had really caught their eye was an old bed-and-breakfast in Gwaelod-y-Garth.

     While in the other two house all the bedrooms were on the upper floor and the living areas on the lower the bed and breakfast had each floor set up as a  separate annexe. 

     The main entrance was on the first floor which contained a  kitchen, lounge, master bedroom, dressing room with en-suite, two further bedrooms and second en-suite which was perfect for Rhys and Gwen and the ground floor had a bedroom with dressing room, bathroom and utility room, hallway, additional sitting room, bedroom and it’s own small kitchen in a converted bedroom with a shower room in what would have been the ensuite were it still a bedroom.

     Jack decided that the bedroom on the ground floor with the sitting room would be his and the Doctor’s. He would set the bedroom up with the timelord in mind and the sitting room up as his own space. It would allow the timelord some privacy while keeping Jack nearby as soon as the Doctor cared about such things. They could use the shower room off the kitchen for the two of them and leave the other bedroom and bathroom for Martha and Mickey. Because they would be in the lower half of the house there was no worry that the Doctor would fall down the stairs and with a seperate kitchen they could give Gwen and her family their own space. 

     The garage was detached and perfect for the Tardis though it contained, of all things, brewing equipment. They’d let Rhys decide if he wanted to take it up as a hobby or have it removed later. The side and rear garden were large and well-kept and the first floor had a balcony with some great views. The house was substantial at 2100 sq ft and surrounded by mature woodland. It was semi-rural but still had easy access to  the M4 and much to Gwen’s delight there were excellent schools at all levels nearby.

     Jack transferred the necessary funds to the account Mickey had created under their assumed identities. The paperwork would show it was an inheritance from a wealthy relative. The group discussed modifications that would need to be made for security and safety and as it was getting late Gwen went out for take away for the group. The Doctor had gotten up a short time ago was allowed to wander the room. When he got restless Jack guided him back to the bed and used the remote to turn on his plug. That bought Jack enough time to finish his chinese before kicking everyone out to tend the timelord. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the floorplan to the house described: https://visualaids809478451.wordpress.com/floorplan-of-house/ It is a real place.


	8. Chapter 8

     Jack slowly injected formula through the nasogastric tube Martha had set for the timelord. He’d been given his paradise just prior to his feeding. They’d worked out that the strongest need for physical contact was half-way between doses. Immediately after he got it he would lay still for half an hour, presumably enjoying the euphoric effects. Jack and Martha used this peaceful time to feed him and do any medical checks. He was very docile and a little floppy. Not much could persuade him to move right after a dose but when the half-hour had finished he was at his most cooperative. 

     The second half hour was spent on things they needed him to take at least a little bit of an active role in. He’d use the loo and let himself be bathed. After a few days of being dressed in tracksuits (Jack still wasn’t going to put him in a gown) he’d even lift his feet when putting on his trousers and thread his arms through his sleeves himself. Jack found that if he scheduled it during the right time in the cycle he could get him to complete some simple tasks though he still needed to be guided it made life a lot easier.

     He’d also learned that the window of that cooperativeness was relatively short. An hour to an hour and a half after the dose the physical need set in. It would start with the Doctor leaning against things and people for contact. He was restless during these times and couldn’t be made to lie still. If someone were near him they would be the focus of the touching and rubbing but if not walls and furniture seemed just as good. If he was restrained (which they tried to avoid as much as possible) he’d thrust into the air and whine.

     Another hour and he’d become desperate. If he wasn’t going to be given relief it was at this point restraint became necessary for his safety. He’d pull on his genitals and scratch his arms and beat his head against the walls. Once stated he’d sleep for a bit. Just naps really.   
It would continue like that alternating between sleep and sex for the next four hours at which point he would babble. They assumed it was language but if it was it wasn’t any Jack had heard before. The occasional english word would make an appearance but nothing coherent. He’d continue babbling, sometimes more urgently as time for the next dose neared, right through the  period he would lie still for immediately following his dose. Lather, rinse, repeat four times a day.

     His doses were at 6 both Am and PM as well as noon and midnight. Jack couldn’t help but chafe at the routine. He was having a hard time adjusting to the Doctor’s sleep schedule. He’d spent decades running on adrenaline until exhaustion finally took hold then crashing hard and sleeping like the dead. He could go for days, sleep 12 hours and do it all over again without thought. Sleeping for an hour or less at a time but doing it all throughout the day? That was harder.

     Most of the time Jack couldn’t fall asleep in the time it took the Doctor to finish his nap and want another go. Only after the fourth day at the hotel was he exhausted enough to sleep when the timelord slept, waking up when he was needed again was hard though as he desperately wanted his sleep uninterrupted. On the fifth day he discovered that once the Doctor was in the sleep-sex-sleep cycle following his 6pm dose, Jack could strip him from the waist down and climb in bed with him back-to-chest and the Doctor would be content to cuddle for the most part. When his need became more urgent he’d thrust his hips back on Jack’s groin and it would wake him enough that he could finish the Doctor with his hand, barely disturbing his rest.

     By the time that they finally got themselves working in sync and on schedule, Martha had announced the house was ready for him. So here it was at Half-past six in the morning and Jack was racing the clock to get them to their new base of operations without the Doctor becoming upset. Jack dressed him this morning without his assistance while he was still in the euphoric state babbling in what sounded like a friendly tone. He fitted the harness under the man’s clothes and slipped the remote in his own pocket in case they needed it for the drive. Rather than wait for the Doctor to be cooperative with walking, Jack carried him bridal-style out of the hotel and into the SUV.

     Gwen sat with him in the back while Jack, Mickey and Rhys negotiated the Tardis into the back of the lorry Rhys would be driving to the new house. Rhys was tight lipped and surly. His objections to returning to the Torchwood lifestyle had been argued down repeatedly over the last week but that didn’t make them go away. He was positive this would eventually go badly as it always did and it was going to take more than a nice piece of real estate to change his mind. He didn’t even know if the house counted as compensation seeing as they would be sharing it with four other adults, one of which was not even bloody human, for an indefinite amount of time.

     Once the Tardis was loaded Jack replaced Gwen in the back seat so that she could drive. Rhys would follow with the lorry. Mickey and Martha were already on the way to Garth hill with Anwen so they weren't dealing with an infant as well as the Doctor.. They took the longer but faster route around the city instead of through it because Jack didn’t want to be caught behind an accident on the M4 forced to take care of the Doctor’s needs in a traffic jam. The windows were tinted if worse came to worse but it would be highly uncomfortable to try and explain were they stopped for any reason.

     Jack nearly held his breath for the entire 30 minute drive but they made it before the Doctor was distraught. Jack did turn the plug on for a minute out of every five throughout the drive to keep him still and quiet but overall he couldn’t have asked for an easier trip. When they arrived Jack let Gwen and Rhys go to the main entrance on the first floor to be with their daughter and he went around and down through a gate and to the ground floor access in the back garden. While the Doctor had done really well on the trip he was well out of his cooperative stage and Jack didn’t want to try and deal with a crowd until after his noon-time dose.

     They negotiated the few steps easily while Jack regarded the small porch. He could see setting up a chair for himself. The area wasn’t large enough for everyone but it would be a nice place to get some fresh air in between bouts with the Doctor. The first floor had a balcony/patio large enough for all of them should they decide they needed to barbecue. The door opened into the hall where Jack hung his coat.  Jack took the Doctor directly to his room which was one of only two doors in the hall, the other leading to the utility room which housed a separate washer and tumble dryer. They put a simple chain lock on the utility room door to keep the Doctor from going into it and beyond to the hall to Mickey and Martha’s room but more hazardously, the stairs. 

     Inside the Doctor’s room there was only a double bed and a wardrobe but there was space for more furniture if the Doctor’s needs changed. Everything was heavy enough that he wouldn’t move it when he rubbed against or leaned on it. Rather than lamps they used the existing overhead lighting. If he were to get to the point that he would be doing any reading they would add one but if he was reading by a lamp the danger of him knocking the lamp over and breaking the bulbs was past. 

     Jack peeked into the sitting room that was set up as his bedroom. It wasn’t large and was broken up by a fireplace. It had just enough room for a single bed to the left of the fireplace and a sofa on the right. Jack decided he would get a portable table for a laptop once he’d acquired a computer. To put a desk in he’d have to get rid of the sofa and he’d spent most of the last week working off of a bed and was looking forward to comfortable seating. If he were feeling really industrious he might even put a telly on a wall mount.

     The downstairs kitchen wasn’t full size but the undercounter refrigerator was suitable for the Doctor’s formula and snacks for Jack. They had a kettle, two burners and a microwave along with a sink and a toaster. Any serious cooking would be done in the full-sized kitchen upstairs. The door to the kitchen from Jack’s room was locked in the same fashion as the utility room and for the same reason leaving the other two free for the time lord to wander as he would. Jack planned on bringing his charge up into the lounge during his more cooperative periods but for the most part they would be self-contained. 

     Finally, Jack felt like he could breathe. For the first time since he’d seen the Doctor’s face on Sedna, he wasn’t rushing to get something done. He took his time in undressing the Doctor. It was unlikely that he’d be fully dressed again anytime soon so he put the shoes and the tracksuit away and laid out a pair of pajamas. They weren’t the snap-on ones from the spaceport. They were normal, red cotton with a white stripe. He left them on one side of the bed and guided the Doctor to the other. He had the timelord face him while he unbuckled the harness.

     The Doctor made a small noise of loss when Jack eased the plug from his passage but Jack was used to that by now. Jack guided the man to his back on the bed but he kept pulling his legs up in the way. According to the schedule the 6 hours from six in the morning to noon and six in the evening to midnight were for what Martha liked to call ‘manual genital stimulation’ with the afternoon and early morning for anal stimulation. This was the first time he’d shown any signs of a preference.

     Usually the Doc would push into his hand regardless of where Jack choose to place it. Now he was putting his legs in the way when Jack tried to stroke his cock. Jack considered making him follow the schedule for a moment before deciding if in his limited capacity the Doctor could make a choice, he should do his best to honor his wishes. He pulled the lube from his front right pocket where centuries of habit said it belonged and prepared his fingers for the Doctor.

     Because he was still open from wearing the plug, Jack didn’t have to be quite as careful. He started with two fingers right out of the gate and quickly added a third. Usually he’d be careful to limit how much the Doctor could move as he was likely to hurt himself but since he was already open and taking everything well Jack removed his fingers briefly and allowed the man to go on his hands and knees. Now that he had leverage the Doctor pushed himself to meet Jack’s thrusts. It was faster and more intense than before and after he found his release he collapsed on his belly and trembled with aftershocks. 

     When he finally stilled, Jack realized it was only because he’d fallen asleep. He decided against waking him to dress, he’d be up in less than an hour for the next round and no one expected he or Jack until after the noon dose. Jack headed to kitchen and washed his hands. He felt better here already. A drink and a snack on his sofa was a welcome change of pace after living on take away in the hotel. He even smiled when forty-five minutes later the Doctor swayed his way through the door for his next go-round. It was the first genuine smile since the 456. 


	9. Chapter 9

     Jack wouldn’t admit it but he was fairly content to spend his days caring for the Doctor. His dose of paradise decreased with every shot and his periods of quiet cuddling began to outnumber those he needed to be stimulated. While Jack lived with one arm permanently around the man he was able to use the computer and read and generally relax. Taking care of the timelord allowed him to rest and heal in a way he hadn’t been able to on his own.

     Everything he had denied himself out of guilt and penance was allowed if it benefited the Doctor. They shared baths and had long lie-ins and generally didn’t do anything that didn’t feel good. Jack had thought he’d get bored but he was surprised at how fast the days went while he was caring for his charge. They woke early for his dose, feeding and daily medical check but often went back to bed immediately after. 

     Jack felt less like he was abusing his friend because as the days progressed he became a more active partner. He demonstrated a clear preference for internal stimulation and would sometimes say ‘More’ when he liked something a lot. Jack made it his personal mission to discover what he liked best while still limiting the contact to just his hands.

     He couldn’t help but fantasize about what the Doctor would like if he were using his mouth or his cock but didn’t let it change how he handled the drugged man. During the day he’d take care of himself in the sitting room before the Doctor needed him so he could take care of him without being hard at the same time. At night, when the Doctor would wake him by grinding into his groin there wasn’t much choice but to ignore it but he found he kept a clearer head with his own needs met.

     Martha and Gwen kept Jack well fed and with the feeding tube the Doc was putting back on the weight he’d lost. Jack wasn’t sure he wasn’t imagining it but he thought he might be developing the tiniest bit of a belly. He had a good rotation of different pairs of pajamas including those with the snaps he’d gotten on the space port and he’d wear a dressing gown when outside of his few rooms. They’d increased the amount they were feeding him because he’d vomited bile between feedings which Martha said indicated low blood sugar.

     Will the ever-reducing drugs Jack was able to substitute skin-to-skin contact and nipple stimulation since both produced dopamine and oxytocin if at lesser concentrations than sexual contact. Which is how he found himself sitting on the sofa in the upstairs lounge with the Doctor lying on his chest, one hand beneath his pajama jacket, rolling the man’s nipple between thumb and forefinger. 

     Rhys was telling Mickey what it was like to be a Torchwood spouse and Mickey replied with his story about how the Doctor had disappeared with Rose for a full year and everyone thought he’d killed her. Jack listened and interjected a comment now and then but he mostly just reveled in the quiet affection he was able to give the time lord. He’d learned the man’s nipples were sensitive, almost tender, and could only tolerate the gentlest touch. It had been four hours since he’d last needed to satisfy the drugged man and he was in the cooperative stage following his noon dose.

     Jack sipped coffee with his available hand while everyone else had tea.  Jack imagined that tea would be one of the first things the Doctor would complain about on waking. It would be happening soon. Most of his babbling now was in english, like he was starting to understand that was what everyone else was speaking. Most of it was disjointed and irrelevant but he’d complained ‘Bright’ when Martha shined her pen light in his eyes that morning and told Jack ‘No’ when it was time to get dressed for the day and he wanted to stay in bed. 

     He spent a lot of time running through scenarios of what would happen when the Doctor regained full awareness. Part of him expected him to just leap out of bed one morning like nothing had happened expecting Jack to hop-to and help him take down the Sedna slave ring. Part of him hoped it happened just like that but another part recognized that he was regaining awareness faster than a human would on the dose he was on. There was a chance that he could be awake and aware before he tapered down enough to be free of withdrawal symptoms.   

     They had to lower the dose slower than originally planned and at the current rate they would need to obtain more Paradise to safely wean him off it. That was problematic since he could only get more via his Vortex manipulator or the Tardis and both required the Doctor’s help to use. Jack could see him refusing to obtain more and insisting on coming off cold turkey. 

     It was going to be hard to keep him here where he could heal once he was aware. Jack had obtained several different kinds of deadlocks in case it became necessary to physically prevent him from leaving but he knew he wouldn’t be thanked for that. Honestly he doubted he’d be thanked for anything regardless of what happened when he woke up. In all likelihood he’d pretend nothing ever happened. The Doc was a champion at avoiding issues that made him uncomfortable and Jack had no illusions that this time would be different.

     Jack did hope that he wouldn’t be lumped in with the others who had touched him at the bar. He hesitated to name them all rapists but damned if he could work out what to call them instead. Few of them knew he wasn’t employed there voluntarily and someone would have had to meet his needs while he was on the drugs. Rag and the others involved in his capture and enslavement? He had a bullet hand-picked for each one of them and all the time in the universe to make it happen. He wouldn’t tell the Doctor that bit of his plan but when the dust was settled and the time lord was back in the stars and Jack was once more alone he’d take care of it.

     Jack was shaken from his thoughts by a low whine and the Doctor rubbing his face on Jack’s chest. Jack could see he was semi-erect in his pajamas, he looked at Rhys and Mickey apologetically as they were still talking but they nodded their understanding and shooed him off. Jack walked him downstairs before he got bad enough that he needed to be carried. He rolled his sleeves up to the elbow and began to disrobe the Doctor.

     “You ready to come again baby?” Jack asked as he had a dozen times before but to his surprise this time he got an answer.

     “Yeah.” The Doctor slurred

     Jack was taken aback as this was the first time he’d answered a direct question since he’d been found. Jack guided the timelord to his bed and tried again.

     “You want it inside or outside?

     No answer.

     Jack applied lube to his fingers and and stroked his opening. “You want this?” He asked and the Doctor pushed himself toward Jack’s hand and muttered “Want”

     As Jack worked him open he received an unsolicited “More” from the Doctor

     Jack worked all of the spots the time lord responded to best and asked “Do you like that?” after each area in turn and each time he was rewarded with a “Yeah” or a “Yes.”  Every answer was more emphatic until he was yelling the word as Jack pounded his fingers into him. He came quickly and Jack took the time to clean and dress him before letting him nap. Rather than leave him alone he walked into the sitting room and pulled out his phone.

     “Martha? I’m going to need you to come down here soon and keep a closer eye on him. I think he’s going to be with it soon.” Jack told her “He’s answering questions, just one word at a time but they directly correspond to the question asked unlike the random words he said before.”

     “That is great Jack, I think he is most likely to come around during the time after his nap where he babbles a lot or right after the euphoria when he’s cooperative. Where is he at in the cycle?” Martha asked

     “He just settled down from his nap after a treatment.” Jack answered

     “And how many of those has he had during each cycle in the last four cycles?” Martha questioned hopefully

     “Just once a cycle for the past three. Four cycles ago it was two.” Jack supplied

     “That’s great, we could be done with them soon. Call me when he wakes up and I’ll come down and do his obs and see where were at. From here on in we’ll monitor him closely.” Martha finished 

     “Will do.” Jack said and hung up the phone with a smile. With any luck it would be all downhill from here.


	10. Chapter 10

     “Hey there, are you waking up? Think you can talk to us coherently today?” Jack smiled as the Doctor’s eyelids fluttered open and he took in the room. Jack was sitting on the edge of his bed and Martha hovered over him on the opposite side checking his vitals in a well practiced routine ingrained through years of experience. The Doctor smacked his lips, his mouth dry from receiving most of his fluid through a tube in his nose.

     “Why am I here?” The Doctor said grouchily

     “There you are! A full sentence.” Jack smiled “I think he’s really with it this time Martha.” Jack looked to her for encouragement and she nodded so he answered the Doctor’s question “You were captured Doc, Kept drugged. I found you and I brought you to Martha so you could get better.”

     The Doctor made a rude dismissive sound. “I’m not going to get better Jack. I’m dying. I intended to be dying well away from here but I can’t seem to outrun your good intentions.”

     “Dying, What do you mean Dying?” Jack stood and backed away a bit. “Is there any chance you’ll survive? What can we do to help?”

     “I suppose there is always a chance but it is infinitely more likely that I am dying. I made myself ill saving Donna’s life.” The Doctor held up a hand to shut down Jack’s questioning as Martha watched the scene play out. “It is called the thieves wasting and is similar to your prion diseases and just as fatal.

     “Your rescue was both unnecessary and undesired. I sought out the drugs myself, they are one of the few compounds that can render a timelord insensible and pain free. I purchased the room on the spaceport and the drugs and intended to stay there until either the drugs or the illness took me.” The Doctor explained dismissively “I don’t intend to spend my last days held prisoner to your infantile desire to fix me.  If you want to help you can put me back where you found me.” 

     At first Jack’s mouth hung open in surprise but it quickly morphed into anger. He walked over to the foot of the timelords bed and spoke with deadly calm.

     “Put you back where I found you? You want to go back to Sedna spaceport and get stuffed full of cock for a hundred credits a night? You want to be a lobotomised whore dripping strange men’s cum onto synthetic silk while you rub yourself on the furniture like a cat in heat? Is that where you want me to put you Doctor? Because that’s where I found you. You were being kept in a brothel and I didn’t rescue you, I purchased you. I gave them money and they gave me you to do whatever I wanted with. To fuck, to kill, to dissect.”  Jack’s voice rose as he spoke until he was shouting. He braced his arms on the Doctor’s foot board and leaned toward him.

     “You told me we had to burn the Master’s body because there were people willing to go to war to obtain a single time lord cell  because it could be used to reverse engineer the regeneration process and unmake fucking history by extending the lives of warrior races for thousands of years. You don’t get to endanger the universe because you are feeling sorry for yourself. If you are going to die you can damn well do it here.” Jack yelled at the timelord pushing off from the end of the bed, turning his back and heading to the door, boots landing heavily enough to be heard in spite of the thick carpet.

     Jack stopped in the doorway but did not turn as he spoke. “So no, I will not put you back where I fucking found you and you will find that the Tardis controls are deadlocked and I will not be unlocking them and letting you end up back there or worse. If you want to consider yourself a prisoner that’s fine, I’ll play the part of jailer if it means you are safe.  You are more than welcome to hate me for it too. I don’t need you to like me. I grew out of that after the Valiant.” Jack slammed the door behind him as he left.

     The Doctor listened to Jack stomp up the stairs and across the house before hearing a second door slam. He and Martha were silent for a number of minutes but it was the Doctor who spoke first.

     “How much did I cost?” was all he could think to ask.

     Martha looked down. “From what he told me about £60,000.”

     The Doctor nodded to himself “I cost less than a flat. Maybe a bad flat or one that was really out-of-the-way.” The Doctor leaned back, all his energy expended. “£60,000, probably less than a years wages with him working at Torchwood. Seems like that would pay well. Did it pay well?” The Doctor looked back at Martha “Could he really afford that or have I left him skint?”

     “He doesn't really talk about it but I imagine Jack could have bought you 10 times over and still be fairly well off.” Martha smiled sadly in what she hoped was a sympathetic way. “He bought the house we’ve been taking care of you in without batting an eye, furnished it too” Martha gestured around herself. “Even if it cost him every last quid he had, he would have paid it. Jack would die for you even if he didn’t come back to life.”

     The Doctor nodded again “I know. He did. Die for me that is. Before he was immortal.” he sighed “I wonder if he regrets that decision.”

     “Doctor, Jack came back to Earth for you. He told me less than two months ago he was never coming back here.” Martha sat down beside the despondent time lord. “I believed him, he meant it, but you needed him to bring you someplace safe so he came back without hesitation.”

     “Why did he leave?”

     “Torchwood finally cost him too much. It put him in the place where he had to choose between Earth and his grandson.” Martha sat on the edge of his bed. “He choose Earth and Steven died by Jack’s hand. The dust hasn't even settled yet really. Last I heard The official story is Jack died during the attack. I don’t hear as much as I used to, now that I’ve stopped working for UNIT full time.”

     The Doctor had nothing to say about Steven. What could he say? He had made the same choice only on a much larger scale. So instead he choose to focus on Martha. “You’re not working at UNIT anymore?”

     “No, we had our professional differences with them asking me to destroy the world and all. I’m freelancing with Mickey now.” Martha advised him.  “We still do some work with them occasionally but on our terms.”

     “Mickey the Idiot?” the Doctor said incredulously, a little life coming back into his voice.

     “Oi, now don’t you talk about my husband that way.” Martha slapped him lightly on the shoulder.

     “Husband? Martha Jones now Martha Smith? There’s a turn-up for the books.” The Doctor chuckled weakly.

     “I’ll have you know he is a fine husband. Now if you are well enough to argue Jack and pick on Mickey, you are well enough for a proper examination. We’ll see if we can sort this dying business.”   


     “Martha, I don’t need to be proded. The Tardis can give you a copy of the scans I took before I landed.” The Doctor whined

     “I’ll take a look at those too but we need to see where you are at now. The Tardis says you were there for 8 weeks and we’ve been weaning you off the drugs for just over three. We need to know you didn’t pick up anything during that time. I listened to Jack and didn’t involve UNIT in this but that means I’ve got no lab and no imaging and I know you have got both on the Tardis. You don’t get to wake up tell us you’re dying and get off without an exam.” Martha stood up and looked at him expectantly. “Don’t think I didn’t catch the bit in your argument where you told Jack you took the drugs with the expectation that you wouldn’t wake up either. You and I have a lot to talk about.”

     Admitting defeat the Timelord got out of bed and followed her out of the house to the garage and the Tardis after only a brief pause for a dressing gown and some slippers.

 


	11. Chapter 11

  
     “So, thieves wasting, sounds rather dramatic. Why don’t you tell me what happens with that and how you got it” Martha said as they walked to the medbay passing the console which had a bolt passed right through where he would set the coordinates for travel and a chain around the hand break. Jack had worked fast and from the sound of it he was in the space beneath the floor working on other ways to keep him grounded.

     “Well, you are familiar with prion diseases yes?” The Doctor asked with fatigue already showing in his voice.

     “As familiar as anybody is in this day and age. We know that it is a type of protein that when it comes in contact with normal proteins in the brain they fold abnormally. We know it is always fatal but often has a very long incubation period.” Martha offered as they entered the medbay. “We don’t exactly know what causes it and treatments are limited. Symptoms can be similar to other degenerative diseases like Huntington's, Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease. We know it is associated with cannibalism and is sometimes a genetic disorder.”

     The Doctor nodded. “Cannibalism, yes, think cannibalism. It was akin to telepathic cannibalism to do what I did to Donna, her human brain was exposed to artron and regenerative energy during the metacrisis but lacked the biological systems to process it so I locked it and the memories attached because if it was free in her system it would accelerate the electrical activity in her brain to the point of a stroke. I took all of Donna into me, repackaged it and regurgitated it back into her.” The Doctor looked down at his feet as he stood near the Advanced diagnostic terminal or ADT and waited for it to turn on.

     “She fought me every second. She knew she’d die but she didn’t want to forget. The backlash of forcing myself into her brain and taking away her memories created the damaged proteins and they in turn will damage others until their aren’t enough good cells to keep my brain functioning.”

     “Is this a common affliction among timelords?” Martha asked and the Doctor looked horrified.

     “Of course not! Forcing yourself into someone else's mind is both taboo and illegal. No justification would be accepted for such a thing.” the Doctor explained “The thieves wasting is named that because it affects those who steal other’s thoughts. It doesn't happen every time someone commits such an atrocity but when it does it is seen as a self-punishing crime.”

     “What was the treatment?” Martha asked.

     “Why would anyone try to treat such a thing?” the Doctor said darkly as he configured the scanner. “It is the just deserts for those who commit a heinous act.”

     “Doctor you were saving her life, surely that would be an exception.” Martha argued

     The Doctor shook his head. “I violated her mind Martha. I stole years of her life from her memory. Tore it away while she begged me to let her die instead. I’d be locked up to keep from hurting others and nature would take its course.”

     “Is that why you tried to kill yourself? Because you see it that way?” Martha asked trying to understand.

     “No, I’m just a coward and didn’t want to face my own decline. It isn’t a problem I could run from physically so I ran from it mentally instead. Shall we get on with the scan?” the Doctor said as he climbed on the scanner bed

     “What do I do?” Martha asked

     “Just press start, everything else is done.” He instructed

     Martha did as she was told and waited for the results. When the started to display she frowned. “Doctor, I think she’s malfunctioning.” Martha said as she tapped the screen with her index finger.

     “You probably just aren't reading it right. She can be finicky on what she displays for humans. Read it off to me maybe it is a mistranslation and I can figure out what she means.” The Doctor said from the bed, trying not to move too much for an accurate scan.

     “No it is clear what she is saying. It says: ‘The Doctor, Full body scan in progress, Pregnancy,’ a list of values and in the centre is a scan of your skeleton with your lower abdomen highlighted in red and the word ‘Positive’ flashing on the screen.”

     “What...That’s not..” The Doctor sat up and looked incredulous “ADT configure for voice interface.”

     A life-size hologram of the Doctor appeared facing the bed of the scanner and said without emotion “Voice interface configured. Scan cannot be completed when patient is in motion within the Advanced Diagnostic Terminal. Please advise patient to lie still for the duration of the test.”

     “Never mind the rest of the tests I want to know about the tests you’ve already run. What the hell do you mean pregnant.”

     “Pregnancy: also known as gestation.” The interface continued without inflection “The time during which a body sustains an embryo or foetus in preparation for birth.”

     “I know what the word means. I want to know why you are using it to describe me.” he shouted at the hologram despite know how futile it was to argue with the display.

     “Chorionic gonadotropin detected in subject. Species variety not confirmed.. Concentration levels and species specific information can be obtained with a completed scan. Please advise subject to lie still for the scan to resume.”

     “I’m not going to lie still! You are malfunctioning. It isn’t possible for me to be pregnant.”

     “The Advanced Diagnostic Terminal is operating within optimal parameters. Please lie still for scan to resume.”

     “Doctor, perhaps we should let it finish the scan and we can discuss what the results mean when we have the rest of the information.” Martha offered.

     “There is no point, we can’t trust the scan. The machine is malfunctioning.” The Doctor shouted at Martha instead.

     “The Advanced Diagnostic Terminal is operating within optimal parameters.” the machine droned on.

     “Shut up, run in-depth maintenance diagnostic.” snapped the time lord.

     “Maintenance diagnostic initiated. Time to completion three hours.” the interface stated and then blinked out of existence.

     “Well that is great Doctor, how are we supposed to scan you now?” Martha complained as the Doctor straightened his clothes and exited the sickbay. He took two right hand turns then went down the stairs to the console room.

     “Is he really dying?” Jack piped up angrily as soon as they entered the room.

     “We couldn’t do the scan. It isn’t working. It says he’s pregnant and since his previous physical exams most definitely indicate he’s male…” Martha waved her hand at the Doctor

     “Male doesn't exclude pregnancy Martha, I’ve been pregnant before. Can’t say I really appreciate the experience. Humans start doing it around the 26th century, there are other species that it was there to start.” Jack remarked

     “I’m not one of them Jack and I don’t appreciate you talking about me like I’m not here. Time lords do not get pregnant nor do Time Ladies. We just don’t reproduce that way. The females of my species have been sterile since before Rassilon.” The Doctor ran his hands over his face and through his hair. “We used breeding engines, external devices in which an embryo would develop. We called them looms. Genetic material is added to a loom by at least two parents, sometimes more if the main parents wished to honor a respected elder by having them contribute.”

     “How do you have more than two parents if each gives you half of your dna.” Martha asked

     “Well to start with I have four strands of DNA, one of which is in temporal flux and cannot be seen without special equipment. I do carry all the genetic material needed to regenerate into a time lady, You know that Martha because of Genny. If I didn’t carry at least two x chromosomes, rearranging my DNA would not have been able to produce a female. We get thirteen faces Martha, that is a lot of combinations having more than two donors protects us from a genetic bottleneck. This regeneration went poorly and I would accept a few mismatched parts since I had half the vortex running through me. That’s bound to cause a few transcription errors but for me to be pregnant there would have to be…” The Doctor snapped his mouth shut and turned on his heel toward the inner coradors. “I need to go to the science lab.”

     “Doctor, don’t run off we need to...” Martha called after him.

     “I’ll be back before the diagnostic is done. Don’t follow me.” The Doctor shouted over his shoulder.


	12. Chapter 12

     In the science lab the Doctor used a small brush to collect a sample from the inside of his cheek. There had always been rumors, Schoolyard taunts. Whispers behind his back but nothing proven. People had always talked about his father’s dalliance with the lesser species, he even knew her name: Penelope Gate, the first human to independently create a time travel device. The device was horrible and erratic, it would make Jack’s space-hopper look like a luxury model but ingenious in the 30th century nonetheless.

     It was common knowledge that he had more than two genetic donors but it was heavily implied that it was The Other that was the third line having contaminated the Prime Distributor some years earlier. While having The Other’s DNA was a somewhat dubious honor, having human DNA was almost vulgar. Humans were barely out of the trees next to Timelords, an infant race that remained childlike for the vast majority of their lives. The machine chimed to signal the extraction of DNA from the buccal swab so he moved the purified sample into a special chemical mix for processing in the thermal cycler. 

     He liked traveling with humans for much the same reason that he had enjoyed taking his young granddaughter along. The precociousness of youth allowed him to experience the universe through their eyes. It allowed him to see wonder and beauty instead of his own jaded opinions reflected back at him. He’d done too much and lived too long to see the miracle in what was to him, mundane. 

     While waiting for the sample to be amplified and separated he prepared the equipment for the next stage of testing.Humans were beautiful, bodies so outwardly similar to his own that it was easy to see the appeal. He had celebrated Andred and Leela, the unlikely pair. He had congratulated them when they bore a child, the first child of the flesh on Gallifrey in millenia, but knew that child would never be a Timelord. He had chosen not to differentiate between a Timelord and a mere Gallifreyan. Leela was his friend and it was really her husband Andred’s place to explain regeneration, the untempered schism, and the Time Academy. 

     As he moved the sample to the next stage of testing, the gallifreyan answer to gel electrophoresis, He pondered the nature of a possible pregnancy. If through corruption of his DNA by human stock he was able to conceive a child, that child wouldn’t be a Time Lord either. It would be half-gallifreyan, half-whatever the father had been. He wouldn’t even know the father, there was no way to know who used him or how often. He’d spent weeks under the influence, anyone who passed through the spaceport during that time could have paid their credits and done as they wished to his body. Even if he did know who it was that person had no interest in him beyond one night’s thrill.

     With that came the sickening realization that the child would be the bastard of a whore. That’s what he was in this. Not a proud Time Lord who had graduated from the prestigious Pyrodonian chapter after a  century of study. Not a disgraced member of House Lungbarrow who had thrown caution to the wind and earned the title ‘Renegade’. Not even ‘The Destroyer of Worlds’ with hands that would never be clean. A whore. A wet hole to be used and forgotten about. 

     If he was carrying a child it would be solely his responsibility. There would be no wife on Gallifrey to tend the children while he explored the universe. No academy for the century of study that was required. Would the child even have centuries? There was a good chance this child wouldn’t be able to regenerate even if he was able to expose it to enough vortex energy to activate the ability and the other species could severely limit the life span. Could he stand to lose another child? With shaking hands he stained the sample and moved it to the final machine for analysis. 

     Perhaps he was getting ahead of himself, all of that assumed that he’d live. He had gone looking for Paradise because he had given himself the thieves wasting. He could have a few years or a few months. There was no way to tell. He’d told his human friends a cure was possible but not probable. That was just as true if he were pregnant as it would be if he only had himself to worry about. Reading the results his hearts sank. Forty-six different loci and he had twelve alleles that were only found in humans, eight of which only evolved after the 26th century. It was possible. He should know by now that nothing was impossible. Highly improbable happened to him so regularly he should expect it. 

     It would be best for everyone if this hypothetical child were never born. He couldn’t take mifepristone but a contemporary surgical abortion would be effective if somewhat barbaric by his standards. He could probably convince Jack to relent and unlock his Tardis and go somewhere with less risk. In Jack’s time an unwanted pregnancy could be terminated with a targeted sonic blast. Come to think about it he could probably build something like that himself but it would be infinitely safer to use equipment designed for the task.

     Another gallifreyan child dead at his hands. How many did that make? He closed his eyes and began to count.

***

     Two hours after the Doctor left them Jack and Martha were in the galley. Martha nursing a cup of tea and Jack on his fourth cup of coffee of the day. The layout changed based on the number of people on board and their habits but currently it was set up like a small cafe. The two shared one of the small booths and tried to avoid talking about the Doctor. They knew their friend wouldn’t appreciate being discussed without being present but neither of them could think beyond the events of the morning. 

     Martha couldn’t get herself past the concept that a man could be pregnant. It wasn’t that she thought Jack was lying, she just couldn’t picture him 8 months in and waddling. It was even harder to try and imagine the Doctor in that state. If what he said was true and his people didn’t give birth, male or female, than she imagined it would be quite the culture shock. There was very little dignity to be had in carrying a baby and the Doctor was an exceedingly proud man. What would happen when the man who was ‘always alright’ was subjected to hormones that could make you cry over literal spilled milk. Finally she couldn’t take it anymore and interrupted Jack as he was telling her about some Nostrovite at Gwen’s wedding.

     “How does it work Jack? I mean physically how does it even work?”

     “Nostrovites?  They carry the eggs in a sack in the males mouth and then…”

     “Not the weird alien pregnancy Gwen had, the weird alien pregnancy he has.”

     “Honestly, I don’t know. There are too many different ways it can happen for me to tell you how it works if he is pregnant. I know of a few, I’m intimately familiar with one and I’ve been on the other end for several of the kind you are used to.”

     “Well tell me about how it worked for you. I’ve got to have a reference point for this!” Martha threw her hands in the air in exasperation “Where is he carrying it? How is it getting out?”

     “Calm down Martha. In human males beyond the 26th century or so it is fairly straightforward. It works the same way it would in a woman except that the reproductive and digestive tracts share an opening. Kind like a cloaca. His passage is shaped the same as mine, so I’ve got a fairly good idea of how it is getting out and that isn’t too different from what you are used to.

     “In my time you’d have to take a hormones to start ovulating and form a uterine lining but that was the case even if you were female. Unintended pregnancy wasn’t a thing anyone had to worry about and nobody wanted to menstruate, it is pretty damned inconvenient. Now it turns out that was mostly environmental. My colony added contraceptives to the water like governments in your time add fluoride. Without that I’ve had to deal with the less-than-pleasant experience of shedding a uterine lining but not often. Partly because I die too often to go through a complete cycle.”

     “Sorry I don’t think I can wrap my head around you having PMT. I can’t see you in a tracksuit, eating sweets with a hot water bottle ” Martha quipped

     “No, it really isn’t my style.” Jack conceded “I usually take out my frustrations on the firing range, but realistically Martha when do you have the time for chick flicks and hot chocolate?”

     “Never, saving the world doesn't lend itself to that sort of thing.” Martha agreed “I got an IUS fitted shortly after I started traveling with the Doctor. I don’t know what I’d have done without it during the year.”

     “You’d do what people like you and I always do Martha, you’d make it work. Failure isn’t an option with people like us.” Jack stated simply. “I thought you’d be much more fixated on his claim that he’s dying than that he might be pregnant.”

     “We don’t know he’s dying. We know he thinks he’s dying. I haven’t seen one shred of evidence for that. He may think he has this disease because he thinks he deserves it. He isn’t showing any symptoms yet. I have seen the Tardis declare him pregnant and if he’s sick that complicates things. There are a lot of treatments that are contraindicated during pregnancy that we might otherwise have used.”

     “You don’t seriously think he’ll choose to keep it do you?” Jack said skeptically “His people didn’t do pregnancy, he’ll probably see it as an unwanted parasite.”

     “I don’t know Jack he’s been a father before and if he’s pregnant  _ he  _ isn’t the last timelord anymore, the baby is.” Martha argued “I don’t think you should underestimate what he is willing to go through if it means he isn’t alone.”

     “Martha, who the hell do you think would raise the kid? He doesn't live the kind of life that fits around nappies and nap time. He can’t put a baby down for the night and go save the world. What happens to a child if he gets himself into another situation like this? What if while he was drugged out of his mind his infant was slowly starving to death on the Tardis? You think he’d ever come back from that? 

     “If he is dying? That is even worse! This kid would be in constant danger from the moment it was born and it’s parent won’t live long enough to protect it. If timelord children stay children in proportion to their lifespan anyone who he gave it to to raise would be dead before it was fully grown. What are you going to do? Pass a timelord baby down in the family? Leave it to your children to take care of then their children for as long as it takes.”

     “It won’t outlive you.” Martha offered

Jack laughed a slow terrible laugh filled with all the loathing he had for himself.

     “How many children do I have to kill for people to stop wanting me to have them? It hasn’t been nine months since I murdered my grandson in cold blood, Martha. I don’t think I count as a fit guardian.”

     Martha was about to reply when Jack got a strong feeling of worry from the Tardis.

     “Martha, we need to check on the Doctor.” he said seriously

     “He’s got some time left still.”

     “No, the Tardis is worried about him. She is giving me a very strong feeling that we need to go to him.” Jack said as he got up from his seat and headed into the corridor. It was a testament to the ship’s worry that the science lab had been relocated just two doors down from the galley. When he opened the door he found the Doctor on the floor with his legs pulled to his chest, rocking back and forth. Jack immediately got down to his level and looked him over for signs of injury.

     “What happened here Doc? Are you hurt?” Jack put one hand on his shoulder and waved the other in front of his face. Martha stood in the doorway for a moment then retreated to get her medical bag. No matter what Jack did or said the Doctor didn’t react to his presence. Jack put his ear right to the side of the Doctor’s mouth and he could hear him mutter

     “...fu, lu, su, çu, ʒu….mɔhumçɛ talt̪ɔ, kloɾinɪ!...mu, nu ɬəj ɬɛu…” He whispered mournfully.

     “I can’t understand you Doc and the Tardis isn’t translating. I need you to focus and talk to me.” Jack shook his shoulder gently. He felt so helpless he sighed with relief when Martha came back in and took over. 

     Martha pulled a penlight from her pocket and shined it in his eyes, to her consternation they were unresponsive to light. Going through his obs she found  his heart was racing and his breathing labored and ineffective. 

     “Jack, if he keeps going like this he’s going to pass out, near as I can tell this is a panic attack or a flashback or something. No new physical injuries but he isn’t reacting to what is going on here and now. Even things that should be automatic and independant of his mental state aren’t responding to stimuli like they should or at least how I think they should. I didn’t take Time lord biology in Uni so I’m making it up as I go along based on what I’d expect from a human.” Martha said with an edge of panic creeping into her voice. “We need to calm him down and if we can’t he needs to be someplace he can’t hurt himself.”

     The moment the words were out of Martha’s mouth a door adjacent to the lab opened straight into the medbay Personal Safety Isolation Area, in other words, a padded cell. As much as Martha hated it she agreed with the Tardis. A quick glance around the lab showed broken test tubes and all manner of equipment that the Timelord could injury himself on as he rocked himself about. Martha motioned Jack to lift him around his chest while she situated herself to lift his feet. As soon as they had him lifted he began screaming.

     “Gɛnjɑwaɹaɹ ɪmoz! Gɛnjɑwaɹaɹ ɪmoz! Sum ʃɔk'aj k'ɔd k'ip'ə zi! Hol mɔhi ðɐnuwa visan! Huɹli? huɹli?  P’o, Wo, ɬi...ɬju? ɬou!” 

     Ignoring his cries Martha and Jack bundled him into the safer space and released him to thrash about now that the soft surfaces could protect him. When he calmed down they could see if he was injured and look into the cause of his outburst for now all they could do was wait.

     “Jack do you see anything here that could have caused his breakdown?” Martha asked

     “Martha this is all above my paygrade I couldn’t tell you if he was splitting atoms or making tea just by looking at the equipment in here. Most of the stuff, I don’t know what it does. The stuff I do know is from so many different time zones and planets it isn’t even funny. That-” Jack pointed to  a strange piece of equipment “Is a Morok waffle iron with a Albarian hairdryer welded to it and I couldn’t even begin to contemplate what he uses it for.”

     “Something set him off!” Martha exclaimed

     “Yeah and the best we can do is ask him when he comes back to us.” Jack insisted “You can’t say he doesn't have an awful lot on his mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All gallifreyan is written with phonetic symbols, each of those symbols stands for a specific sound. You can find out what those sounds are here: https://web.uvic.ca/ling/resources/ipa/charts/IPAlab/IPAlab.htm  
> The language itself is stolen from here: https://conworkshop.com/view_language.php?l=GFR  
> Any grammatical errors in this completely fictional language belong to the fictional character that said it. Be nice to him he has no one to speak it with so he’s rusty and if he’s lapsed into Gallifreyan he’s generally not thinking too straight at that moment.


	13. Chapter 13

     The first thing the Doctor noticed when he regained awareness was an ache between his legs. He rubbed his face groggily and struggled back to full consciousness. He briefly acknowledged that he’d been placed in personal safety isolation which meant the Tardis had believed him to be a danger to himself and his friends agreed. He attempted to stand and pain shot through his groin. He lifted the waistband of the pajamas and frowned at his erect and overly engorged penis. He had hoped to avoid being consciously aware for the embarrassing side effects of paradise. In truth he had hoped never to wake up but you can’t have everything. 

     He gathered from Jack’s rant earlier that the drug had indeed affected him in the same way it did the lesser species but unlike a human he was able to regain mental clarity before the more physical effects had worn off. He concentrated and tried to will the evidence of physical arousal away but the drug was still dulling his mental acuity too much to force his body to obey his command. That was going to become very inconvenient very fast.

     It was a shame that paradise only reduced pain at levels where it also reduced cognitive function. Perhaps he could alter it in the lab where if it didn’t relieve the pain he at least wouldn’t care he was in pain in the first place. Yes, if he synthesized the metabolites he could create a version that only impaired him slightly when it came to his mental faculties and would allow him to ignore the pain that would come with the wasting. If he was going to endure long enough to bring a child into the world he would need a way to get through the pain. How he was going to handle the physical consequences of taking the drug wasn’t something he really wanted to think about yet.

     It wasn’t going to be easy to slowly degenerate into the feeble shell of a man he would become but with the blood of 2,470,001,076 children already on his hands adding another to the tally was unthinkable. No he was drawing a line in the sand. No more. The last child of Gallifrey wouldn’t be killed for the sake of his convenience. Perhaps when the child was born and arranged for his friends would allow him the kindness of euthanasia. His own people would have withheld it as punishment for his misdeed, the humans would probably withhold it with well-meant attempts to save him. 

     He sighed and forced himself to stand in spite of the pulling in his groin and the burn of arousal making him feel flushed and jittery. He used the wall to support himself to the door and asked the Tardis to release him. His current clothing did nothing to hide his predicament and he wanted to go to the wardrobe room and change before his friends saw him like this. All hope of that died as the door slid open to reveal Jack and Martha waiting on the other side.

     They looked up at him and he avoided their eyes, picking a brown stain on the floor to focus on as his face burned crimson. He forced one foot in front of the other, studiously ignoring them as they inquired as to the cause of his break down and his current upset. When Jack grabbed his shoulder to prevent him from leaving the room he let out an involuntary moan and clapped a hand over his mouth. His shame bringing tears to his eyes. Jack released him immediately and looked him up and down to assess his condition.

     He hadn’t noticed the timelord’s erection when he’d first exited the isolation room because he was so used to it being a fixture all these weeks but it was unmistakable now that he was really looking. He did the math in his head regarding the time since the Doctor’s last dose and how often he’d needed to come the day before. If he was using yesterday as a guideline the timelord would need to come 4-5 times today and he was more than an hour and a half overdue.

     “You’re still having the sexual side effects of paradise.” Jack stated without preamble.

     The Doctor replied with the barest nod. He put one hand over his crotch to hide himself and one hand on the doorway to keep from falling over

     Jack leaned close to the Doctor so that only he could hear him. “Do you want me to help you to your room so you can sort yourself out?”

     “I can’t” The Doctor whispered so softly Jack wasn’t sure he wasn’t just mouthing the words. 

     “You can’t take care of it yourself?” Jack asked for confirmation and nodded when the Doctor answered in the affirmative. Jack figured it must have gone so long his erection was too painful to touch and the Doctor either hadn’t thought of or didn’t know how to stimulate himself rectally. “Put your arm around my shoulder and I’ll slide mine under your arms. I’ll help you to your room and help you take care of it.” He glanced over the Doctor’s shoulder and made eye contact with Martha “He still needs his treatments, I’m going to take him to his bedroom for it. You can talk to him about everything else later”

     Martha nodded her assent having gathered what they were discussing from the Doctor’s physical state and emotional reaction. The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lips but did as he was told and let Jack guide him to a bedroom which the Tardis thankfully located nearby. It wasn’t his bedroom, nor was it Jack’s from when he’d traveled with him. It was simply a generic room with a bed large enough for two.  

     He balked slightly in the doorway of the bedroom breathing hard and beginning to panic. Jack saw the wild look in his eyes and tried to sooth him. “It’s okay, I’ve been the one helping you with this for weeks. Nobody else has touched you since we left Sedna. I swear to whatever deities there ever were or will be that I will not hurt you. I’ll tell you absolutely everything I’m doing before I do it. Just breathe.”

     The Doctor took deep breaths, in and out to a count of five, until he regained a small shred of composure and continued hobbling toward the bed. Once they got there he found that he couldn’t get on the bed without assistance with the pain in his groin. Jack saw him having trouble and gently lifted him to lay on top of the duvet with his head resting on a pillow. 

     Jack placed his hands to the snaps at the Doctor’s hips. “I’m going to take your trousers off now, I’d like you to answer a few questions for me if you can.” Jack slowly undid the snaps at his waist, over his hips and to his thighs leaving him covered by the loose fabric while he unfastened them. “Not counting the last couple of weeks, is this your first time?”

     The Doctor shook his head ‘no’ but laid on the bed stiff as a board, fists full of bedding at his sides and Jack wasn’t sure he believed him so he rephrased the question. 

     “First time with a man?”

     The Doctor gasped in a breath. The memory of the Master forcing himself into his body, the feeling of his rectum tearing assaulted him. He began to hyperventilate. 

     “Ok, yes with a man but he hurt you.” Jack pulled the terrified timelord into a sitting position and held him to his chest. “The Master?” He asked.

     The Doctor nodded against Jack’s chest, trying to regain control of his breathing.

     “Ok, I promise it won’t be like that.” He knew from personal experience exactly how rough the Master was.  “I’m going to keep all of my clothes on, I’ll only use my hands and I’ve got this.” Jack pulled a small bottle of lube from his pocket and eased himself to sit against the headboard guiding the timelord to lie in front of him, his legs spread and draped over Jacks. Naked from the waist down but still wearing his top.

     “I’m going to touch you now with just one finger. It will be wet but i’m only going to touch you on the outside for now. I want you to focus on your breathing and relax. Remember who is touching you and that I would never hurt you.” Jack touched his lubed finger to the Doctors rectum and the timelord jerked away a bit but then settled down as Jack circled his opening. He massaged the area with his index finger until the Doctor had relaxed and was breathing evenly.

     “I’m going to put my finger in just a bit now” He said as he pushed the digit gently in to the first knuckle. “Still okay?” Jack asked

     The Doctor nodded as he clinched around the intrusion, the drugs were reasserting his arousal whether he wanted them to or not and he lifted his legs a bit to give Jack better access.

     Jack thrust the single finger a couple of times, watching the Doctor react and squirm until he thought he was ready. He removed his finger from the other man’s body, sat on his knees before him to get better leverage and placed a pillow under his hips. “Now I’m going to do exactly the same thing only with two fingers.” He said as he worked two lubed fingers into him as he gasped at the stretch.

     “Does that feel good?” Jack asked.

     The Doctor craned his neck as if trying to see what Jack was doing but got embarrassed and laid back down, putting his arm over his face and nodding his response to Jack, not trusting himself to speak.

     “Okay, do you know where your c-spot and prostate are?” Jack asked.

     The Doctor nodded so hesitantly that Jack wasn’t sure he believed him so he explained anyway. “The C-spot is a little area of ribbed tissue right inside the larger branch of your rectum, the part that in me terminates at the gestational pouch. Right here.” Jack stroked the area gently.

     The Doctor moaned and arched at the sensation, he’d never felt anything like it but wanted to again. 

     “That’s nice yeah? Your prostate is a little further up. Well technically it is around your urethra just under your bladder but I can stimulate it  _ here _ ” Jack showed him with his fingers.

     The Doctor gasped, he wasn’t sure if he liked that one as much as the first but it was good too.

     “Now basically I’m just going to rub both of those in turn until you come for me. I may change the position of your legs to get the right angles. You let me know if I do anything that doesn't feel good.” Jack said reassuringly. “I can do this without touching your cock, I know it hurts right now. Next time, don’t let it get so bad and it won’t hurt at all.” Jack slowly started thrusting his fingers inside him.

     The Doctor clamped a hand over his mouth and held his breath, trying to avoid any more undignified noises.

     “That’s not going to work Doc, you need to breathe through it. Look at me.” Jack implored. The Doctor opened his eyes and made brief contact with Jacks before turning away and gasping in a breath. “Does it look like I want you to be quiet? I wanna hear how good it feels for you.” Jack started his tried and true figure eight motion and the Doctor spasmed around his hand. His hands scrambled along the bedding and a low wail escaped his throat. 

     “That’s right, let me hear that you like it and I’ll do it faster” Jack increased his speed slightly. The Doctor’s noises were completely different when he was aware rather than overtaken by the drugs. It was like he fought every sound before letting it pass his lips. He struggled to keep himself still rather than thrusting himself down on Jack’s hand and he kept his eyes screwed tightly shut, afraid to meet the Captains intense gaze.

     “Just let yourself feel Doc. Feel how good is. I’m going to give you a third finger now and I’m gonna speed up and see if I can push you over the edge.” Jack followed through on his promise and watched the Doctor struggle desperately to keep control. “Let go sweethearts, you are so close now, if you just let go you’ll come for me. I wanna see you come so bad. I want to watch you fall apart knowing that I did that to you. Come for me, show me how good I make you feel.”

     The Captain’s words broke through whatever remaining resistance he had and he screamed. He screamed in part because of the orgasm that tore through him like a whirlwind and in part because as his aching cock shot semen all over his belly the terrible pressure he’d felt was finally released. He screamed and then he shook and then he sobbed.

     He hardly noticed when Jack removed his hand from his body and he couldn’t calm down while Jack cleaned and gathered him up in his arms and tucked him under the duvet. He sobbed because he had never felt such a thing before and he sobbed that he only received it now out of a sense of duty and pity and to prevent injury. He sobbed for the child inside him he would never know and the billions dead at his hands. He sobbed that he had given everything he wanted to the metacrisis and that he’d killed himself saving Donna. He didn’t hear Jack leave the room as all of the weight he’d carried for so long came crashing down on him nor did he notice when the Tardis turned out the light. He didn’t know when the darkness finally took him, too exhausted to cry anymore.


	14. Chapter 14

     The Doctor woke alone 93 minutes later by his reckoning and sighed in relief at the empty room. As he got himself up and inspected the room he found his suit and trainers folded and waiting on a small table beside the bed. He thanked his ship mentally and chucked the soiled pajamas in the laundry on the way to the en suite. After a long shower he dressed, shaved and styled his hair. He was well overdue for a haircut but that couldn’t be helped at the moment.

     He left the room and gave the Tardis instructions to keep that particular bedroom out of his sight for a long while before inquiring about the location of his passengers. Jack it seemed, had left shortly after the incident in the bedroom and Martha was reading in one of the lounges. He wasn’t sure how long he had before he had to endure another episode so he went to her immediately to discuss options.

     “Afternoon Martha” The Doctor offered from doorway of the lounge.

     “Oh good you are back up, the diagnostic is done and I’d like to get that scan now. Jack said you got a little emotional after your other treatment, so I thought it best not to wake you.” Martha said from behind her book.

     “Yeah, sorry about that.” The Doctor pulled on his ear. “About how often am I going to need those ‘treatments’ exactly?”

     “Well, if it goes like it did yesterday you’ll need it one or twice every six hours. You should have much more warning next time though. You should have plenty of time to take care of it yourself. This one snuck up on you because you passed out after your episode in the lab. I still want to know what caused that by the way.” Martha nagged

     “Oh that, nothing important. It won’t happen again” the Doctor brushed her off “These other episodes seem to be quite insistent though and I thought we might discuss medical options for their management.”

     “We did consider that at the onset and if you can tolerate an injection of phenylephrine each time, that would probably take care of it but I’m unsure why you’d want to go that route when the current treatment is far more pleasant.” Martha continued. “We’d even considered aspiration since you couldn’t give your consent to Jack taking care of it but you are awake and aware and able to consent so I don’t see the problem.”

     “Because I don’t.” the Doctor snapped

     “Don’t what?”

     “Consent. I don’t consent and I don’t want to do it that way and I have a right to choose my treatments don’t I?” the Doctor said churlishly.

     “You do, we’d assumed you would handle the matter personally once you were awake and able. There is no reason for Jack’s continued involvement.” Martha explained “The only reason he was involved earlier was your level of pain.”

     “I am handling the matter. I’m handling the matter by asking for the medication.” The Doctor argued

     “You would rather me inject a vasoconstrictor directly into the shaft of your penis every six-hours rather than self-gratify?” Martha asked skeptically.

     “Yes.” the Doctor said simply as he flushed pink.

     “Can I ask why?”

     The Doctor turned several shades redder. “No.”

     Martha eyed him suspiciously. “Well, it is your body, so I’m not going to deny you your choice. It is about time for your next dose of paradise. A couple hours later you’ll need relief. Or, we could stop giving you the paradise completely and see what happens.”

     “I don’t want to stop taking it completely. It makes me feel better. The worse I get the more I’ll need. Eventually it will be ridiculously painful. I’m not going to be able to cope with it on my own.”

     “Are you in pain now?”

     “No, not as such.” He offered reluctantly “It just makes everything a little easier. Softens the edges. When you give me the next dose I expect a brief period of euphoria followed by lucidity before the secondary effects kick in. When the secondary effects were satisfied I had another period of euphoria during the act followed by a reduction in my level of consciousness and a volatile emotional state. After that I got tired and here I am now. There is a slight tremor in my hands that you wouldn’t notice but I can perceive and when you give me the next dose the cycle will repeat.”

     “You know if a human patient had told me something like that, they’d be getting SSRIs not painkillers, right?” Martha said gently

     “Well I’m not human and I can’t take SSRIs.” He responded stubbornly “I was going to ask you for the remaining supply to work on it in the lab. I think if I isolate and then synthesize the metabolites rather than taking the drug in its usual form I can retain most of my function while still retaining the beneficial properties.”

     “Is there any type of antidepressant you could take in addition to that?” Martha asked

     “Martha, it isn’t clinical depression. It is situational. Don’t I have a right to feel badly that I’m dying?” the Doctor pleaded “I’m going to try and handle this as gracefully as I can but arguing over every little thing with you is bound to get old quickly. Why don’t we go do those scans you wanted, hmm?”

     “You are volunteering for scans?!” Martha exclaimed with disbelief. “You must really not want to talk about this but I’ll bite. Let’s go to the medbay.”

     The Doctor set the scan to omit species testing for the child and set it to calculate gestational age based on cell division rates rather than milestones for a given hominid. It was the only way to really be accurate since the computer would have no gestational information regarding time lords as that information wasn’t included on the Tardis mainframe because no one would ever be looming children in-flight. The Tardis was only equipped to diagnose pregnancy in order to allow the pilots to disembark a pregnant passenger as soon as possible.  

     He did have some limited neonatal equipment for emergency deliveries he picked up during the war but the medbay was decidedly not an obstetrics facility. It was likely that he’d need to depend on human medicine for the majority of his care, as frightening as that was. He hoped Martha was up to the task because he was loath to bring on anymore housemates to poke and prod him. This was the sort of thing that made you a lifelong resident of early human research facilities and he didn’t trust that he’d be able to adequately defend himself if he was dealing with pregnancy on top of the wasting.

     While the Doctor laid in the scanner with his thoughts and plans, Martha quietly watched the results appear on the screen. She didn’t call any of them out for fear that he would halt the tests again. The Tardis confirmed two sponge-like lesions on his brain in what was identified on the screen as the telepathic region of his brain. They were less than 2 millimeters in diameter but they were present which didn’t bode well for his recovery. Martha didn’t know anything she could do for a prion disease other than palliative care.  

     In addition to the foreboding lesions the scan once more diagnosed pregnancy. Allowing the scan to continue beyond the initial skeleton with a highlighted abdomen she was impressed to see a 3d rendering of the foetus rotating on the screen. The machine declared that based on cell division speeds and mass the gestational age was seven weeks and three days. It also estimated viability at 23 weeks and vital system completion at 36.

     Because the progression of deterioration in his brain wasn’t occuring at a set speed, there wasn’t a way to tell which would develop faster the lesions or the baby. The scan then gave Martha a set of values for his baseline vitals and their current readings. She made a mental note to have the Doctor write all of those values out for her when they began to hammer out procedures together. She’d also need medications he could take and a detailed analysis of his anatomy but she’d tackle that another day.

     “Do you want to see the image of your baby?” Martha asked when the scan read complete.

     “What for?” he asked “It can’t possibly be attractive. How far along did it say I was?”

     “Seven weeks three days.” Martha replied “Most parents want to see pictures and hear a heartbeat.”

     “It must look like a bean with flippers and a tail so no.” The Doctor wrinkled his nose “I’ll leave it to the imagination. The ADT won’t be able to isolate and play a heartbeat but it should tell you how many there are and if they are appropriate for gestational age.”

     “It does. Everything looks alright and there are two of them.”

     “Good, two hearts says nothing about the other half of its parentage which means it is still in flux and by extension means I can choose the other father.”

     “I’m sorry, you are going to do what?”

     “I can send someone to the appropriate day to immpregnate me. I can’t change that I am pregnant otherwise I had no reason to send anyone back and that’s a paradox but there is no evidence that a future self _didn’t_ send someone, so I still can choose the other genetic donor.”

     “Who did you have in mind?” Martha asked curiously

     “I hadn’t decided yet. Perhaps when I find suitable parents for it, I’ll send the insertive member of the couple to do the honors. People are more likely to protect their own offspring than a stranger and the child could have genuine family ties.”

     “That is a lot to ask a pair of prospective parents, Doctor. Not everyone is going to see it the same way. We tend to see it as cause and effect and you are starting with the effect and engineering the cause.”

     “The end result is the same, I don’t see the problem. If the parent won’t do it, I’ll choose a third party. They were presumably turning a profit on me so it can’t be too objectionable.” He said with a faint tinge of nausea edging in on the thought. “Worst case scenario I’ll send Jack. He understands temporal mechanics and is a known quantity at the very least.”

     “You’d better ask Jack how he feels about that.” Martha warned “I know he’d be hard-pressed to deny anything you asked for but asking him to conceive a child with you and than abandon it may well be a step too far.”

     “Well, if he feels that way he can have it. He’ll certainly live long enough and while I would choose a more domestic setting for the child’s rearing, I guess he is capable enough.”

     “Doctor you can’t just decide these things for people!”

     “It is certainly better than leaving it to random chance and giving birth to a child half of its parentage unknown!” He exclaimed “Or would you prefer that I took you to the spaceport and let you monitor the comings and goings of everyone who saw me that day? You could interview the putative fathers and ask them if they had any interest in caring for the child they’d just conceived with a prostitute?”

     Martha didn’t know what to say to that so she held her peace.

     “I thought not.” He said grimly. “Would you kindly administer my dose of paradise before the more serious withdrawal symptoms start? I’d rather not experience seizures until my brain is so full of holes the regenerative energy has no other way to disperse.”

     “Is that what is going to happen?” Martha asked as she drew his dose, still factoring in the 5% step down. “If you’ve got regeneration energy why can’t you regenerate and heal this?”

     “My body isn’t recognizing the abnormal proteins as foreign or damaged. If I regenerate it will be to the current template which will include the defects. The energy will bridge gaps in the physical structure of my brain until it runs out. It is finite after all. I only have one more face left in me and if I am going to die I want to hear those four knocks with these ears, not a new set that have known nothing but sickness.” With that he offered his arm to Martha who injected him with the drug and finally, he felt peace.


	15. Chapter 15

     When the Doctor came back to awareness Martha was still waiting for him but that was alright because everything felt okay. She started asking questions and it didn’t even occur to him to withhold the answers. Yes, he could take tricyclic antidepressants. No, Paradise wouldn’t cross the placenta.  Honestly he didn’t know much about the anatomy that allowed him to become pregnant and give birth as it wasn’t what he was taught but rather a strange hybrid between a body like Jacks and a body like a time lord which was different to any he’d had before, as far as he was aware but he hadn’t been a receptive partner in all of his regenerations so it is possible other regenerations had the same defect. Of course it was a defect but sure she could take a look.

     That’s how he found himself in stirrups and trouserless in the medbay. Martha inserted a plastic speculum into his rectum and opened him up and the ‘okay’ feeling began to leave. She had a bright exam light shining between his legs and it left him feeling exposed. When she replaced the speculum with her too-warm fingers he had enough and started to pull his legs down.

     “I’m not quite finished yet.” Martha said trying to get him to be still

     “No, I don’t like this. I don’t want to do it anymore.” The Doctor complained while trying to get off the bed with the stirrups still in the way. 

     “Okay, another time then.” she said snapping off her gloves before lowering the stirrups. She watched the timelord stumble down letting the paper drape fall away. He stood in confusion a moment until Martha offered him his pants and trousers which he put on right where he stood without any apparent modesty. Once they were on he looked to Martha again for direction and she supplied his shoes and socks.

     “Why don’t we have a nice cuppa and wait for your head to clear.” Martha suggested as he struggled with his shoes.

     “I’m fine.” was his automatic response. 

     “Actually, I’m not sure you are.” Martha said with a frown “I should have known direct answers were too good to be true. Let’s go up to the house for awhile.”

     Entering in the first floor kitchen since it was the closest to the garage, she parked him on the sofa in the lounge. “Don’t move.” She told him firmly and then looked around to the rest of the household minus Jack who were already in the room. “None of you ask him any questions or suggest he do anything. He isn’t fit to make decisions.”

     Martha left to get the tea but the conversation which had been so lively when they entered had ceased.

     “You’re Gwyneth.”  The Doctor pointed at Gwen. “Didn’t you die? Is it Christmas?” he rattled on.

     “It’s just Gwen, I work with Jack. You saw me on the subwave network remember?” Gwen reminded him gently “Christmas isn’t for another month yet, love.”

     “That’s nice” He smiled as Martha handed him a mug. “Haven’t had very good luck with Christmas after all. Last time there were Cybermen and once I was on the Titanic at Christmas and that went just about how you’d expect.”

     Mickey laughed “The Titanic sank in April, boss. I think you might have some wires crossed”

     The Doctor furrowed his brow. “No it was Christmas and there were evil angels.” Martha tensed. “Not weeping angels, Martha. Different angels. Gold ones.” He sipped his tea. “Poor Astrid.”

     Rhys when to ask who Astrid was but Gwen shushed him.

     Martha steered the conversation away from the Doctor and he sat quietly drinking his tea for a few moments before getting bored and deciding to go back to the Tardis. When he went to stand though, Martha stopped him.

     “Where do you think you are going?” She asked

     “I’m going back to the Tardis.” He said simply

     “And why is that?” She asked, her intent to prevent such a thing quite clear.

     The question made him angry and he pushed himself to stand despite her hand on his chest. She let it fall away without a struggle, knowing that he was far stronger than her but she stood with him.

     “She is mine. That is enough of a reason.” He said with a hit of darkness

     “You shouldn’t be left alone.” Martha argued

     “I won’t be alone. I will be  _ on the Tardis _ .” He made to move around her and she moved to stand in his way again.

     “That isn’t enough.” Martha held her ground.

     “Being my jailer as promised Martha?” He asked and then gestured around the room. “Which one of your chosen guards do you actually think is capable of stopping me?”

     For a moment, the look in his eyes made Gwen wish she had her gun. Rhys moved closer to her. Mickey however addressed his wife.

     “Babe, it isn’t worth it. However out-of-it he was a bit ago he’s obviously thinking clearer now. Let him go and send Jack to the Tardis with him. She told him when he was in trouble last time.” He caught the Doctors gaze and said levelly “You know, when they found you on the floor incoherent  _ just this morning _ ?” He looked back to Martha who moved out of the timelord’s way. He stomped off before he could even consider if Martha was being reasonable.

     He made a quick stop in the medbay where the Tardis gave him the vial of paradise Martha had drawn his noon dose from and took it to the laboratory. The Tardis let him know she was irritated with him by not cleaning up the mess he’d made earlier in the day. He took the time to tidy and collect his thoughts. Shortly after he sat down to work the Tardis notified him that Jack was on board. The immortal didn’t seem to be trying to find him as he headed to a game room rather than attempting to locate the lab so the Doctor decided to ignore his presence.

     He purified the sample of the drug and set up a rapid-fermentation medium which was mostly advanced strains of yeast, malt and glucose. Once that had finished he extracted the new compounds with ethyl acetate and slapped everything in for a chromatogram. He separated the compounds by size and found that there were 8 compounds of interest. 

     He took the first of the compounds and put it into a machine that did the work of 20 years of human clinical trials in about 3 hours. It would tell him the minimum and maximum doses, the effects and even some side effects. At this point he began to notice that he was flush, his mouth was dry and both his heart rate and blood pressure increased. As soon as it caught his attention it worsened with his scrotum drawing his testicles close to his body and his erection taking shape.

     He wasn’t done being angry with Martha but it would soon become urgent that he see her. A mutinous portion of his brain told him Jack could sort his problem just as easily as Martha could but he reminded himself that dealing with Jack was just as painful as Martha’s methods if in a completely different sense. He wished he could sort himself out as the humans had suggested. If he could he wouldn’t leave the lab the rest of the night. 

     He’d told Jack he couldn’t do that but Jack had taken it to mean only that particular instance and obviously Martha had drawn the same conclusion with all her talk of self-gratification. Obviously in spite of how long Jack had been using his body he hadn’t noticed that just prior to climax his mind would reach out to touch his partner’s. He was a touch telepath and physical and mental closeness were so entwined he personally couldn’t tell where one stopped and the other began.

     That sort of closeness was supposed to be experienced inside of a bond. Without a bond he couldn’t feel the feelings his partner associated with the actions. He’d felt the Master’s smug dominance and his wife’s timid curiosity but Jack was a black hole. He shuddered to think of what he would feel from Jack if he could. Conquest? Pity? Or after this long of having him no less than four times a day perhaps it would simply be boredom. 

     He got to a stopping place and went to the medbay. He had his ship summon Jack since he was telepathic enough to understand her beyond the hums most humans heard and requested that he get Martha. Jack called her on his phone while the Doctor set up the drugs and equipment she would need than drew a curtain around the bed. He disrobed and draped himself appropriately for the procedure. When Martha arrived all she had to do wash wash and apply her gloves and face shield before delivering a shot of phenylephrine directly into the shaft of his penis. 

     For the second time that day as his erection resolved, He screamed. 


	16. Chapter 16

     It hurt less than being shot by a Dalek but more than the initial pain of being shot by a gun. Perhaps it didn’t hurt that much but it seemed like it. It was a much more sensitive area. It _burned._ He hadn’t expected that. He’d expected it to be like an IV or blood draw. After his initial scream he couldn’t get his breath back. He tried to sit up but Martha called Jack in and had him hold down his shoulders. Jack really couldn’t hold him if he set his mind to getting up but he couldn’t really set his mind on _anything_ other than the stinging burn in his genitals.

     His erection went away though he wasn’t sure if that was the drugs or the pain that did it. When he could breathe again he realized that Martha and Jack were arguing. Martha was going on about informed consent and patient rights and Jack was arguing that this counted as self harm and shouldn’t be allowed.

     “It’s a conflict of interest” He said, his voice much higher than he intended so he cleared his throat and tried again, dislodging Jacks hands and sitting up. “Ehm, yes. Jack you don’t get get to intervene as there is a conflict of interest.” He tried his best to look composed and reasonable but it was a bit hard to achieve wearing a paper gown and drape.

     “You want to explain to me how you going through that benefits me in the slightest?” Jack gestured to him angrily. “I didn’t spend all that money buying you from Rag so you could come here and have Martha torture you. At least there you weren’t screaming.”

     “Oh, so as my rightful owner you are putting your foot down about which medical treatments I’m permitted?” He challenged.

     “That’s not what I meant and you damn well know it.” Jack argued

     “Get out.” The Doctor said sharply.

     “Jack, you’d better go. We can talk about it later.” Martha tried to be the voice of reason.

     “I don’t want you to talk to him about it later.” the time lord grumped as Jack started to leave. “Do I not get the same medical confidentiality as everyone else _Doctor Jones.”_

_"_ Children don’t get to keep medical information from their parents and you certainly are behaving like a child.” Jack retorted

     “You are very much not my father and I believe I told you to GET OUT.” The Doctor chucked an emesis basin at him.

     “That’s enough! Jack, out. Go take a walk. Doctor if you can manage it, get dressed and we’ll talk in the galley because Jack is right. Unless you can give me a very good reason why I should, I won’t be doing that again.” Martha said sternly and left pushing Jack ahead of her.

     The Doctor fumed a moment before gingerly redressing. It was still very tender. Honestly, he didn’t want to do that again but he wasn’t going to be told he wasn’t allowed. It wasn’t like Jack was going to hold him down and make him do it the other way was it? Of course, Martha could withhold treatment and just wait until he was desperate enough to go begging Jack for help. That would be more embarrassing than asking for assistance in the first place.

     He would have to insure Martha was on his side and unfortunately he couldn’t see any other way to do that other than explaining what the problem was. He made his way to the galley, his stance much wider than usual but instead of going to sit with Martha, he went to make a cup of tea. He let her wait while the kettle boiled hoping she would get annoyed and leave. When it was through he discovered all the milk aboard his ship had long since gone sour and since he wasn’t going back up to the house to borrow any and he couldn’t very well send anyone out for more he settled for just sugar.

     He considered drinking his tea standing at the counter to give Martha more time to leave but standing was uncomfortable so he eventually sat across from her. The change in position meant a change in pressure and his breath caught for a moment but soon enough he’d settled down. He fiddled with his cup and waited for Martha to start.

     “Well, explain to me Doctor why I should put you through that four times a day.” Martha said plainly.

     “Because I asked you to?” The Doctor said hopefully but Martha shook her head.

     “I’m sorry, that isn’t good enough. This was bad but I don’t think you realize how bad it will become if we continue this way.” Martha explained patiently “You will build a tolerance to the drugs and it will go from one shot to a series of injections one after another every five minutes for up to an hour. When that fails all I can do is put in a nerve block and aspirate. Too much of that and we’re talking permanent damage.”

     “You could give me Leuprorelin or medroxyprogesterone.” He suggested.

     Martha paled “There is absolutely no way I would give you those without first terminating your pregnancy.” Martha was bewildered and shocked. “What could possibly make chemical castration a better choice than masturbation?”

     “The part where I can’t.” He said looking at the dregs at the bottom of his cup.

     “Can’t or Won’t” Martha asked for clarification

     “Can’t. Not biologically possible on my own.” He elaborated whilst avoiding her eyes

     “Oh.” Martha was at a loss.

     “Yep.” He said popping the ‘p’ “Oh, indeed.”

     Having Jack take care of him while he was insensible was one thing, having him do it with the Doctor awake, aware and refusing was quite another.

     “It doesn't need to be Jack.” She offered “You could choose a partner. Is there anyone we could contact? A past companion maybe?”

     He let out a dry chuckle “No one on this Earth.”

     Martha nodded her acknowledgement. “It is a difficult position to be in. You’ve got some tough choices. We can stop the paradise and deal with the withdrawal as best we can.  We can terminate the pregnancy and make you chemically unable to achieve arousal or and I think you might be surprised at how well this one will work, You can have a candid conversation with Jack.”

     The Doctor made a dismissive noise.

     “I am very serious here Doctor. Jack has been a champion of your dignity throughout this whole ordeal. He hasn’t made one crass joke or lewd comment about the situation since you’ve been here, He’s stayed by your side nearly non-stop for weeks. Not just dealing with this aspect of your treatment but bathing you, dressing you, managing your feeding tube.” Martha explained “He even takes you to the loo and cleans you up after.”

     At that the Doctor looked up and met Martha’s eyes, horror plain on his face.

     Martha only nodded confirmation.

     The Doctor looked down at his hands. His nails were well-manicured not overgrown or hacked off. Did Jack do that too? He’d just assumed that even in a drugged state there would have been some things he could do for himself. Now he was starting to understand just how dependant on everyone else he’d been and it looked like his primary carer was Jack. He had awoken clean, well fed and closely attended to. He hadn’t realized what a burden he’d been. Perhaps if he could trust Jack with all those things it would be okay to let him help with this.

     The Doctor excused himself from the conversation with Martha and retraced this mornings route to the room he woke up in. He looked around and noted that his bed had been made a quick check showed that the sheets were fresh which meant whoever had made the bed expected him to return to it. A selection of tracksuits and pajamas in his size occupied the wardrobe as well as the harness which he quickly put back not wanting to think of himself in such a thing. The room smelled faintly of semen, both his own and Jacks but it was well below the threshold a human could detect and that was to be expected with the sheer quantity of sexual encounters he must have had over the past few weeks. 

     He continued his exploration to the spartan sitting room that was obviously where Jack had set himself up. Two changes of clothes and a book sat on the sofa but there was no other amusements or personal items to be found. It was a far cry from what he had termed the ‘den of iniquity” Jack had created for himself aboard the Tardis. That had been full of sumptuous cushions and lavish fabrics. It suited the hedonistic young man he had been.

     Some time while he wasn’t looking, Jack had grown up. He noticed the locked door in Jack’s room and opened it to find the little kitchen. All of the equipment for someone on a feeding tube was out on the counter. A quick look in the fridge showed milk and the fixins for a few simple meals but mostly cartons of feeding formula. Investigating the cupboards showed many unopened packages of his favorite snacks and biscuits as well as tea when he knew Jack only drank coffee.

     He made himself a plate with an assortment of snacks and another cup of tea because now that he’d seen the food he realized he was feeling hungry. He took it all to the sofa in Jack’s room because there really was no other place to sit and mulled over how he might open such a conversation with Jack.


	17. Chapter 17

     Rather than go for a walk like she told him to it looked like Jack had gone for a drive. That was inconvenient as she really wanted he and the Doctor to talk. Jack taking care of him was the best and safest option currently on the table. She’d seen the Doctor go into the part of the house he and Jack had been sharing and decided to let him alone for the time being. As much as she itched to call Jack and hurry his return she busied herself instead with the information she’d gotten from the Doctor this afternoon.

     She felt guilty for questioning him right after he woke up from his dose but she’d gotten a lot of good information. She now knew that she needed to look up pregnancy between the 30th and 60th centuries in males in the library to learn the specifics of what she should be expecting. It seemed for the time being at least he intended to proceed with the pregnancy so she needed to be as prepared for that as she could be. 

     She was about to go downstairs and invite the Doctor up for the evening meal and ask to use the library when they’d finished eating when she heard the suv pull up the gravel drive. She stepped outside to watch him get out holding an unmarked brown paper bag and he waved at her.

     “He still in the Tardis?” Jack asked

     “No he’s down in your rooms. He’s been there since shortly after you left. Don’t go down there if you just intend to pick a fight.” Martha lectured  “I talked to him and he has reasons. You two need to talk calmly.”

     “I’m not going to yell. I’ve got a peace offering.” He held up the bag at her

     “What is it?” Martha queried

     “If he wants you to know, He’ll tell you.” Jack smirked “He’s right, he has a right to privacy and we’ve both been knee deep in his business. Some of that can’t be helped but where we can we need to let him decide who knows what.”

     “Alright I’ll leave you to it.” Martha said. “How long do you think you’ll be? We were about to make something to eat.”

     “Don’t know. Cook like we’ll be up there and put it in the fridge if we aren’t up when you all are ready to eat.” Jack suggested “We might join you or we might be busy. If we don’t get up there we can reheat it or I can make something simple in our kitchen. Either way I’ll handle his next dose of paradise, so don’t wait up.”

     Jack bypassed everyone by going around the house to the ground floor entrance. He was nervous about how his gifts would be received and wanted to put his best foot forward. Hearing the Doctor scream like that earlier was almost physically painful for Jack. When at all possible Jack put himself between his friends and pain. He would gladly bear any amount of pain to avoid seeing the people he cared about suffer.

     He came through the front hall and hung his coat up. He didn’t have to worry about knocking on the Doctor’s door because it was open but the man was not in his room. He wandered into the sitting room where the sofa was covered in cake wrappers and biscuit packets but still no Doctor. When he went through to the kitchen he heard him. He was in the shower room and from the sound of it he was violently expelling everything he’d eaten. Jack sent a text to Martha advising her they wouldn’t be up to eat and tapped lightly on the door.

     “You okay in there?” Jack asked through the door.

     “No” the Doctor whined between heaves.

     Jack opened and stuck his head around the door to see the timelord on his knees in front of the toilet gripping the sides like he’d fall over without it. He was decidedly green and visibly shaking. He also has a sheen of sweat and was gasping for air between bouts of vomiting.

     It was still an hour til the next dose of paradise was due but either the Doctor was experiencing some serious hyperemesis gravidarum or he was having withdrawal symptoms early. Jack knelt beside him and felt his head. It was clammy and cold despite the sweat.

     “It is just a guess but I’m thinking that with the secondary high withdrawal is hitting you faster.” Jack explained

     “Makes sense” the Doctor moaned before dry-heaving once more. Everything in his stomach was long since gone but it still twisted and knotted, forcing him to try and empty it again.

     “Should I give you a partial dose now and we’ll figure out a better solution when you are better?” Jack asked.

     “Please.” the timelord groaned and Jack went to draw up a quarter-dose for his friend. He had to brace the Doctor’s arm against his thigh to inject the drug cleanly due to the shaking but shortly after he’d received it he began to still.

     It wasn’t enough to send him into the full-euphoria but his eyes had a definite glassy sheen and he resigned himself into the Captain’s care.

     Jack guided the man to his bed before fetching a flannel to remove as much of the sweat as he could. He and the Doctor’s annex probably contained three times the number of flannels of any normal household but their activities demanded a constant supply so Jack had bought in bulk.

     While he was cleaning him he asked the Doctor if it would be okay for him to set the feeding tube when he’d had the rest of his dose. The timelord readily agreed as the thought of eating made his stomach want to try and exit through his mouth again and Jack promised it would be removed before he’d fully woken up. With the state he was in Jack decided to bring up his gifts when he’d woken from the euphoria. 

     After his dose and feeding Jack contemplated changing him out of his sweat-damp clothes but he hadn’t gotten the Doctor’s permission to do so and he didn’t want to overstep his bounds. With the dose divided the timelord woke from the euphoria a bit faster than usual.

     When he woke the Doctor felt nice. Everything was okay again.

     “Good to see those beautiful brown eyes again. Are you feeling better?” Jack asked and the Doctor nodded. “Feel up to a little talk?”

     The timelord nodded his assent without really thinking about the question.

     “Okay, do you think you can tell me why you’d rather have Martha stick needles in you than have an orgasm?” Jack asked as gently as he could sitting down beside the Doctor on the bed while helping the man sit up more.

     “It hurts less.” The Doctor said distractedly easing himself against the pillows Jack placed behind him.

     “Does it hurt when you ejaculate?” Jack asked, a little surprised by the information because it hadn’t ever seemed like the man was in pain except when it when too long between treatments.

     “Not the outside kind of pain, the kind inside.” The Doctor rubbed his chest “When you touch me it makes me think of all the people who are gone and all the things I can’t have anymore”

     “I’m sorry to hear that sweethearts” and Jack really was. “but that doesn't really explain why you won’t masturbate.”

     The Doctor blinked at Jack as if he’d said something incomprehensible. “I can’t do that.” 

     “Why not?” Jack asked.

     “Got to touch minds to finish.” The Doctor poked Jack’s forehead with his index finger. “No other mind, no complete circuit, no finishing.”

     “You’ve been touching my mind without me knowing it?” Jack asked. It made sense. It would explain why it was always hard to control his responses when he was with the Doctor. If the man was brushing his consciousness against Jack’s he would share the feelings of arousal. It would also explain why he felt a wave of contentment when the Doctor finished even when it left him frustrated too.

     “I’m sorry” the Doctor said as he snuggled back on to his pillows. 

     “It’s okay. I’m not mad, just a little surprised.” Jack brushed a peice of hair off the other man’s forehead “Does that mean you know what I’m thinking when you come?”

     The Doctor frowned. “No, I can’t even feel you beyond the fact that you are there. I’d have to try and see inside your mind and you’d have to let me in.”

     “Okay, how close do I have to be for you to touch my mind?” Jack asked as he tried to work out a solution in his head “Could you do it yourself if I were just in the same room?”

     “Touch telepathy.” the Doctor said wiggling his hands at Jack. “Have to be touching.”

     “Just touching or touching intimately.” he wondered out loud.

     “Any touch will do I guess.” the timelord shrugged.

     “Okay, well while I was out I bought some things I thought might help you.” Jack left his side to retrieve the brown bag. 

     When Jack got back to the bed he noticed the timelord was staring vacantly at the wall. He was also very still which was unusual. The Doctor was almost always moving whether it be rocking back on his heels or running his hands through his hair but now he was just lying there, completely placid.

     “Doc, are you feeling okay?” Jack asked

     “I feel nice.” He replied a bit dreamily.

     “Doc, would you get up and go stand by door?” Jack tested a theory

     The timelord got up mechanically but then got confused. There were two doors, which was he supposed to stand by? He looked back at Jack the confusion evident on his face and Jack asked. “What’s wrong sweethearts?”

     “I don’t know where to go.” He said a small amount of distress

     “It’s okay Doc, why don’t you just sit down.” Jack said his theory confirmed when rather than come back and sit on the bed the other man sat down on the floor in exactly the spot he’d been standing. Jack pulled out his phone and looked at the time, it was only a few minutes past 7 so he rang Martha.

     “Hey gorgeous” he said when Martha picked up on the second ring. “I was wondering if after the Doctor came out of the euphoria with his noon dose if you noticed him acting strangely at all.”

     Martha cursed and then apologised. She’d meant to tell Jack that the compliant stage they’d observed before he woke was still very much that. He’d do practically anything you asked him to and answer any questions you put to him and got confused with anything that required any sort of decision. She assured him that if he’d had his dose on time he should be coming out of it soon and that Jack would know because the timelord would get bored and decide to do something on his own. As Martha and Jack’s conversation got longer Jack watched the man start to fidget. After a few more minutes he blinked and looked around himself and started walking towards the sitting room.

     “Where you going sweethearts?” Jack inquired.

     “I’m going for a shower, I’m all sticky.” The Doctor said absently.

     “You want to take some jimjams with you? It’d probably be better than putting back on the suit.” Jack said opening the wardrobe and selecting a blue-and white set.

     “Oh yes, of course, thank you.” the Doctor took the bundle from Jack and continued on his way.

     Martha confirmed over the phone that he should be back to normal shortly and hung up.

     Jack took his bag and went to the sitting room sofa so he could listen out for the Doctor. The other man showered for about 20 minutes before shouting for Jack.

     “What’s wrong Doc?” he asked through the door.

     “You didn’t give me any pants.” the Doctor complained

     Jack laughed and went to get him a pair, now certain the Doctor was firing on all cylinders. 


	18. Chapter 18

     The Doctor sat on the lid of the toilet in his pajamas taking three times longer that he usually would to dry his hair. He wondered absently how long he could hide in the shower room before Jack came after him. He knew Jack wanted to continue their conversation and he would very much rather be doing something else. Anything else, really. The brown bag he’d hardly paid attention to now filled him with dread. He didn’t want to imagine the horrors Jack Harkness would bring to encourage him to indulge in humanity’s favorite pastime.

     During the year on the Valiant the Master had developed a sick fascination with human sexual deviance. He’d shown him video after video of the bizarre things they got up to in their private time. He’d seen them beating each other and tying each other up and putting all manner of objects into all manner of orifices. He’d seen them use weights and clamps and gags and even harnesses like the one he’d found in the wardrobe.

     It was disturbing to think that Jack had been using him like that but he was able to divorce himself from it because he couldn’t remember any of it. Rationally he knew that dozens, if not hundreds of people had bent him to their whims. He knew that more people used him _per night_ than he’d been with voluntarily over the whole of his lifespan. But without memory of it or the scars of the experience he could treat it as if it had happened to someone else. If it weren't for the child he’d never think of it at all. He’d put it in the back of his mind where all of the unpleasant things he’d rather not think on lived.

     Thinking on the child reminded him that he also wanted to speak with Jack though not about the mysterious brown bag. The longer he went without sending someone back to father the child the more likely it was that he would learn something that proved he hadn’t. Right now it was Schrödinger’s cat. As long as he didn’t look in the box the cat was both dead and alive. The child a product of both chance and choice.

     He had a vague idea forming of who he wanted the parents to be but they wouldn’t be a good choice to fertilize the egg. His second choice was Jack himself so he was the logical candidate to do the deed. Having Jack do it also meant he didn’t have to add another face in his head of those that used his body. He wouldn’t have another man to look in the eye knowing they’d seen him bent over ‘stuffed full of cock at a hundred credits a night’ as Jack had so eloquently put it.

     He took a deep breath and headed back out determined to have the conversation _he_ wanted rather than the one Jack had planned. He met Jack on the sofa and started talking before Jack could even fully open his mouth.

     “Nothing like a good shower. I’ve put my suit in the hamper but we should take it to the Tardis for cleaning. I should probably fetch a dressing gown and go to the Tardis anyway because with her all locked up I’m going to need to fix your Vortex manipulator so that you can travel and I need her to make me a new sonic screwdriver to do so. She can do that very quickly and you can nip back seven weeks and three days and pay whatever fee you need to to be the one who impregnates me so that I know who the other father is. Right? Good.” He said all in one breath before continuing across Jack’s room into the one he’d stayed in to enact his plan.

     Jack’s mouth worked like a fish for a moment as he tried to process what he’d just heard before standing up and following the Doctor who was, as he’d said, fetching a dressing gown.

     “You want me to do _what now?”_ Jack asked

     “Go to Sedna spaceport seven weeks three days in the past and spend the day impregnating me.” He said while putting on his slippers for the walk across the drive.

     “No.” Jack exclaimed incredulously

     “Why not?” The Doctor asked without emotion as he paused his preparations.

     “Well just to start if I’m going to sleep with you I want you to remember it.” Jack said indignantly.

     “What do you mean if?” He retorted “I’ve been with you for weeks and you said no one else has touched me.”

     “That doesn't mean I’ve spent the last three weeks raping you while you were high!” Jack shouted, offended the Doctor would think he had. “Not one time have I touched you for my own pleasure. I’ve used my hands to give you what you needed and keep you out of pain and the reason it has only been me is because I wanted to spare your dignity. I haven't used your inability to tell me no as an excuse to fuck you and I don’t know why you think I would.”

     “You’ve always wanted in my trousers.” The Doctor replied feebly

     “I’ve wanted you to _want me_ in your trousers.” Jack defended himself. “And I haven’t even done anything to suggest that even now that you are awake. I’m not that kind of a bastard. I’m not going to push for you to have sex with me while it is still a physical need for you.”

     “Then what’s in the bag?!” The Doctor exclaimed, a little exasperated by the way this was going.

     Jack stopped and looked like he’d been slapped before retrieving the bag in question. He pulled out each item justifying its use while he showed the Doctor.

     “This is a male chastity device. It prevents you from getting an erection. It may not work with paradise but I thought you could at least try it since it won’t hurt nearly as much as Martha injecting drugs.” Jack presented the Doctor the little piece of molded hypoallergenic plastic.

     “This is a mechanical sleeve you slip yourself into and then plug it into a USB, it brings you to orgasm with minimal involvement. If I’d have thought about it, I’d have been using something like this the whole time but I’ve never used one so didn’t think about it.” Jack showed him and then threw it on the bed

     “This is strong vibrator you wear inside. It has a remote so that you could use it fully clothed to make masturbation less embarrassing for you.” It went on the bed with the others and Jack turned the bag upside down and other toys, all geared to masturbation fell free.

     “What the hell did you think it was?” Jack challenged

     “You had the harness and the Master showed me tapes…” Jack held up a hand to stop his explanation

     “I don’t want you to conflate me and that psycho-bastard into the same sentence ever again. _Especially_ when it comes to sex.” Jack shook his head and left the room going through the utility room towards the main house.

     “Where are you going?” The Doctor asked following Jack to the base of the stairs

     “You still need care and obviously, I’m the wrong person to give it to you.” He said without slowing his ascent. “Martha!” He shouted as he went and she met him in the lounge.

     She looked at him questioningly and he gestured down the stairs. “I can’t do this anymore nightingale. He thinks I’m a fucking rapist. I’m going somewhere else. I’m not sure where yet but I’ll call you when I get there” He kissed her on the cheek and continued by her and out the door in the kitchen to the SUV.

     Martha went to the top of the stairs and looked down them to the Doctor who was standing at the base with his mouth hanging open.

     “Well Doctor, by my reckoning you’ve got about 30 minutes before you need him or the phenylephrine.” She said with her hands on her hips. “What do you intend to do now?”

     He stood and scratched his head for a minute before replying “I’m going to my Tardis.” and turning to do so.

     Marta put her coat on and followed him knowing he’d need her soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going on a trip, I won't post again for at least a week.


	19. Chapter 19

     Martha didn’t try to find the Doctor when she entered the Tardis. Instead she went straight to the galley to wait. She knew from experience the Doctor wouldn’t let her do anything until he had absolutely no choice in the matter so she settled down with a cup of tea and sent a text to Mickey to fill him in on what happened.

     An hour and a half later she heard noises in the hall so she left her cup to find a bathroom had been moved just outside the galley. She heard a shower going so she tapped on the door but she entered even though no one responded. She found the time lord laying on the floor of an ice-cold shower shivering from the cold and withdrawal. 

     His penis was purple and engorged and he was beating his head on the tile to distract himself from it. Martha sighed knowing they’d gone beyond the point where phenylephrine alone was going to work and they were going to have to do a dorsal penile nerve block before giving him any drugs. If he was lucky it would resolve over the next hour with a great number of injections. If not he would have to have it drained and it would be tender and bruised much longer.

     Part of Martha thought it served him right for whatever he’d done to Jack to make him leave after he’d been caring for him for weeks but the part of her that had sworn to do no harm won out and she turned off the water, covered him over with a towel and went back into the hall to call Jack.

     He answered on the fourth ring and Martha filled him in on the situation. He tried to tell her it wasn’t his problem but she reminded him that there was no one else whose problem it could be.

     “Why Martha, Why does it have to be me? Why does it always have to be me? The one who has to suck it up and do it because there is never anyone fucking else to sacrifice on the altar. It isn’t fair that I should have to be the one who puts aside his feelings for the greater good every fucking time a choice is to be made.” Jack ranted “He did this to himself. He put the needle in his own damn arm and put me into the position of being grateful to his slavers because without them he’d be dead in a Sedna living pod.  He’s done nothing but hurt me over and over again every time I’m anywhere near him and nothing I’ve ever done for him matters the least little bit because after everything I’ve gone through on his behalf he still thinks I’m the kind of man who casually rapes his friend.”

     “You’re right Jack it isn’t fair. What he asks of us never is. It is why both of us told him ‘no’ when he asked us to travel with him after the Valiant. But facts are still facts Jack and he’s still doubled over in the next room crying in agony.” Martha stated grimly “So either you are done with him for good and I need to get Mickey in here to help me tie him down so I can stick another needle into the most sensitive part of his body or he can still count on you and you are on your way to help him whether he deserves it or not. Which is it?”

     “I’ll come.” Jack spat “I’ll even go back in time so he isn’t forced to carry one of his rapists’ baby even though I really think everyone would be better off if he terminated the pregnancy.” Jack said bitterly “but I’m not going to become the kind of man he already thinks I am so I need you to get the equipment for artificial insemination.”

     “Fair enough,” Martha conceded thinking Jack was being more than generous once again. “When can I expect you?”

     “I’m at Taft’s well inn. I’ll see you in 10 minutes.” Jack replied hanging up the phone before any more could be asked of him.

     Martha went back in with the Doctor. He was too heavy for her to move off the floor of the shower and while she could have called Rhys and Mickey to move him they didn’t have half the experience moving him as Jack did and were likely to cause him more pain. Also, whether he deserved it or not she still cared enough about his dignity not to parade him naked in front of the whole household. 

     Jac k arrived, just when he said he would and grimly followed the Tardis’ directions to find her hurting pilot. Martha didn’t try to engage him and he didn’t speak to her beyond giving her a list of things he needed from the rooms he and the Doctor had shared. He scooped the Timelord off the floor and walked him into the hall without breaking his stride he asked: “Bedroom or Medbay?”

     The Doctor sputtered out an apology and begged Jack not to make him go through an aspiration. Jack clinched his teeth a little tighter. It was clear the Doctor still had no idea the sort of man Jack was to think he’d punish him that way. The Tardis directed him to the bedroom they’d used earlier and he laid the man down on the bed while he shed his coat. Martha must have run to the house and back because she arrived with everything he’d asked her for before he’d finished taking off his boots. Jack sat the box she’d carried everything in on the bedside table and climbed into the bed with the distraught man.

     At first all he could do was hold him and rub his back. He kissed him on the top of the head and promised he would make everything better again if he would only calm down. With the Doctor in need in his arms, Jack’s anger evaporated. He knew it’d return but in that moment it just didn’t matter. He shushed him and whispered platitudes and finally slipped two lubed fingers inside him which finally calmed him as he let out a moan that was part pleasure and part relief.

     “There you go sweethearts, No matter what I’ll always be here when you really need me.” Jack crooned as he worked the timelord open. The Doctor was too grateful for relief to be embarrassed and he met Jack’s thrusts with equal force. Jack whispered words of encouragement while his hands  found and caressed all the secret places inside of him.

     Now that Jack knew to expect it he felt when the time lord’s mind reached for his and he met it with his own limited telepathic abilities. Cradled against Jack both mind and body he fell into a protracted orgasm that left him shaking with more than just withdrawal. Jack held him long after he spilled himself on the sheets until his hearts slowed and he began to doze.

     With him sleepy and sated Jack retrieved the chastity cage from the box Martha bought and fitted the  Doctor’s much-abused cock inside it. It latched closed with a small gold lock and after Jack made sure it was on properly he laid the key beside the bed on the table. That done he unpackaged a large vibrating butt-plug and guided it into his friend, making sure it aligned with the larger portion of his passage. The Doctor’s cock twitched at the feeling of fullness but the cage prevented the return of his erection. 

     Prepared for the night Jack delivered his midnight dose of paradise into the crook of his arm and tucked both of them beneath the duvet. They both slept right through his cooperative and active phases waking only slightly when the Doctor pushed his naked arse into Jack’s clothed groin. Jack reached between them and turned on the vibrating plug before wrapping his both his arms and mind around the Doctor. 

     The time lord reveled in the closeness, clinging to Jack in his half-sleep. The chastity cage did its job and kept his erection from fully forming but Jack’s presence and the wonderful vibrations caused a dry orgasm which the Doctor would have appreciated as an exquisite new experience had he been awake enough to form thoughts properly. When the time lord became over sensitized to the vibration Jack reached down once more to turn the device off but kept holding him straight through morning.

     Weeks of the same schedule roused Jack enough to give him his 6am dose, which woke the doctor just enough to pout. Jack debated getting him up and moving while he was cooperative but chose instead to enjoy another hour of holding the other man in his arms. It was hard to believe how much had happened in the single day the Doctor had been awake and aware. As the sun creeped up over the horizon he sent a plea to the universe for his days to become uneventful once more.


	20. Chapter 20

     For the first time in centuries the Doctor woke embraced by friendly arms. Jack’s artron fueled warmth suffused his muscles which were still sore from his time in the bottom of the shower. It was pleasant, pleasurable and completely undeserved. He knew he’d stuck his foot in it quite badly and he hadn’t expected the Captain to return and sort him out. He acknowledged that he had greatly underestimated the immortal. To himself at least, he’d not acknowledged it to Jack and Martha and he thought perhaps he should but he didn’t want to inadvertently make it worse and Jack hadn’t seemed remotely impressed with his apology last night.

     Hey toyed with the idea of staying in Jack’s arms longer but decided he wanted to be dressed so he could make his escape if the immortal woke up cross with him. He carefully disentangled himself from the other man’s arms and slipped out of the bed. Once free of the blankets he became painfully aware of the devices both in and on his person. The plastic cage enclosing his penis and secured around his testicles couldn’t perform its function unless constantly worn but he didn’t think the same could be said for the plug filling his bum so he reached down to remove it.

     “Leave that alone.” Jack said from the bed, watching him from a single open eye.

     “But..but..” The Doctor sputtered feeling caught out but not entirely sure why.

     “If you take it out between times, you’ll heal up tight again and I’ll have to open you with my fingers everytime we put it back. That defeats the purpose. You can take it out when you need to use the loo but otherwise it needs to stay.” Jack explained “I thought we might get away with just the chastity cage but your time yesterday praying to the porcelain god killed that idea. The cage gives you more options about  _ when  _ you get the secondary high but doesn't change that you need it. With the plug I can be almost completely hands-off” 

     “Alright” the Doctor conceded. “It stays” He didn’t want to make more work for the immortal. Now that he was aware of how much of a burden he’d been on Jack it was his responsibility to do whatever he could to reduce his continuing need for care. He hoped that he would get used to the intrusion as it currently occupied a good portion of his attention. He fought to walk normally on the way to the wardrobe the Tardis had placed into the room. 

     Once there he found some of his many identical suits. He turned his back to Jack while he dressed himself. Logically he knew that Jack had seen him in so many various states of dress and undress that it shouldn’t bother him but he was embarrassed by his nakedness regardless. Unsure of how to further converse with Jack he excused himself to the science lab.

     In the seclusion of his labs, the Doctor experimented with different ways to sit, stand and lean in an attempt to find a way to position himself where the plug and cage weren't as distracting before giving it up as a lost cause. Toys weren’t an area he was well versed in. If such things were available for purchase on Gallifrey he’d never heard of it. Sex, being completely recreational, was frowned upon. It felt entirely unnatural to crave it so much.Sex outside outside of a bond was deviant behavior suited only to animals and the lesser species.

     Thinking about it he wasn’t sure which would be viewed with more disgust the sex, the drug use or the wasting. Knowing he was the one with all three in one package made him slightly nauseous to think about. Had he known he’d be found he wouldn’t have taken paradise in the first place but now that he had it he found he didn’t want to give it up. Even when he wasn’t actively in the euphoric stage the drug gave him a feeling wellbeing the shame could only burn through it when it was at its strongest.

     The plug only reminded him of the silent countdown between now and the next time he’d spread his legs for Jack. He wasn’t sure if knowing the Captain didn’t get anything out of it was better or worse. Even as he fretted how mortifying it would be to go to Jack before it was a last resort he worked on producing more of the drug. Supplies were low and while he intended to keep testing the metabolites, he didn’t want to run out of the substance he’d come to depend on to get him through the day. If it wasn’t for the child and the likelihood that Jack and Martha would catch him, he’d try to end it again. Facing life without the drug would be unbearable.

     As time went on he became restless, arousal tingled inside him and he wondered if it was appropriate to ask Jack for his assistance before or after the nausea from the withdrawals started. With the cage, the arousal wasn’t going to become painful, just distracting. It was like an itch he couldn’t quite reach. He shifted in his seat which made the plug move which just served to increase his desire. He hurried to get to a point where production of the drug would continue without him present.

     Just prior to the point where the Doctor couldn’t think beyond the ache of wanting, Jack appeared in the doorway.  The Doctor stood and quickly got his work to a stopping point when he heard the door open but he didn’t turn around. Now that the time had come to act he froze. His mouth dried out and he drew in a shaky breath. This was wrong. How would he manage to go through with it?

     “Are you ready?” Jack asked trying to hide his irritation. He still wasn’t happy with the timelord and his assumptions. He wasn’t going to deny the man what he needed but he wasn’t feeling overly accommodating either. 

     “Ready?” The Doctor plastered on a fake smile as he turned. “If it’s convenient for you I suppose I’m ready, could wait a bit longer though. No rush. Not urgent yet.”

     “I don’t want to be picking your arse up off the floor again so…” Jack gestured out the door and into the hall.

     The Doctor drew his hands over his face and through his hair. “Maybe this is a bad idea.” He offered.

     Jack sighed. Once again what the Doctor needed took precedence over how he was feeling. He walked over toward the timelord and put a hand on his shoulder.

     “You’ll be fine, Trust me.” Jack let his hands slide down the timelord’s arms as he sat in the chair the Doctor had so recently abandoned. When his hands reached the Doctor’s he pulled him forward toward his knees. When he was close enough he moved his hands to the other man’s hips and guided him to sit on his lap with the two of them facing each other. Jack shifted him so his bum was centered over one thigh before moving his leg against the plug.

     The Doctor shuddered at the sensation. He didn’t fight against Jack’s gentle persuasion but he couldn’t bring himself to contribute to the exchange. Instead he closed his eyes and let the feelings wash over him.

     “Not so bad, right?” Jack asked “Better than spending the next hour being sick at least.” Jack kept one hand on the other man’s hip to keep him steady while the other moved to his fly. As he undid the button with a smooth motion perfected by centuries of practice the Doctor’s brow furrowed. “Don’t overthink it, Just feel. No one here but you and me so there is nothing to be embarrassed about.”

     Jack guided his zipper down carefully and untucked his shirts to rest his hand on the front of the Doctor’s pants. Waiting a moment so as not to make the other man bolt, he pulled his pants under the edge of the cage enclosing his cock.

     “Looks like that’s done its job well, now let’s turn you loose so I can see that beautiful cock.” Jack fished the key to the little gold lock from his breast pocket and briefly moved his other hand to the lock so he could free the Doctor. He opened and then removed the chastity device, setting it on the lab bench carefully to avoid disturbing the Doctor’s work. 

     Once free the timelord drew in a breath through his teeth and Jack began soothing him once more with a hand on his back. He guided the other man forward to lay his head on his shoulder. Once the man had settled Jack snaked his hands down the back of his trousers and into his pants once more. He trailed his fingers down the cleft of his arse to rest on the plug. With a flick of the wrist he turned it on.

     The Doctor jumped against the sudden vibration and let out a moan he muffled with Jack’s shoulder. Pleasure began to override inhibitions and he canted his hips seeking friction against Jack’s belly for his aching cock.Jack chuckled deep in his throat and snaked a hand between them. As before the Doctor fought a losing war against the moans Jack wrung from his lips with a hand on his member. 

     All too soon he was spilling himself between them making a mess of his trousers and Jack’s shirt. After the heady burn of euphoria he made a decision. Jack had cared for his every need so long now, surely he could do something for the captain. It wasn’t any worse to give pleasure outside of the bond than to receive it and the immortal had more than earned a little pleasure for all his self-sacrifice.

     The Doctor slid his bum backward on Jack’s lap and maneuvered his hand to the front of the other man’s trousers he palmed Jack’s erection. For a brief moment he felt satisfaction that he’d caused it until Jack caught his wrist. He looked up to meet Jack’s eyes confused by his actions and the immortal shook his head sharply in negation.

     Crestfallen and shamefaced the Doctor extracted himself from the captain’s lap. He didn’t even bother to do up his trousers before making an escape from the awkward situation, choosing instead to bolt whilst holding them up with his hands. He locked himself in the first bathroom he came across where he began to berate himself in earnest under the hottest spray of water he could stand. 

     Of course Jack no longer wanted that. Physiological response aside Jack knew what he’d done and what had been done to him. He had polluted his body with drugs and others had used him as the sullied thing he was. The plug in his arse no longer sparked desire but served as a reminder that it was present for Jack to meet his needs with the bare minimum of contact. He tried to wrench himself from the downward spiral of self-flagellation but the drugs had completely destabilized his emotions.

     Instead he hid alone with his self-recrimination. He ruminated on how far he’d fallen and was selfishly glad there was no one else who could really know the magnitude of his disgrace. Jack had rightly distanced himself. The immortal eased his suffering and the Doctor was grateful for his kindness as he vowed to ease the burden he’d placed on his friend. He do everything he could...except stop taking the drug.

     That thought made him aware that he had tarried long enough for the tremble in his hands to return. He dressed and made his way back to the lab, breathing a sigh of relief to find Jack was no longer there. He went to his equipment to find it slowly but steadily producing the straw colored fluid he craved. He drew up the maximum dose he could take and still wake later and carried it with him to his quarters. One sharp prick later he felt the bliss of synthetic peace.


	21. Chapter 21

     It was hard to stay out of someone’s way when you needed to have sex with them four times a day. Not that what he was doing was sex, he rationalized. Sex was a shared experience inside of a bond, this was meaningless. A friend satisfying a physical need. He hoped Jack was still his friend and not just his carer. The Captain was distant and obviously irritated with him. The Doctor maintained a false sense of cheer with the rest of his newfound housemates but it frequently broke around Jack. Everytime he met the man’s eyes a white-hot lance of shame pierced his belly and he had to look away.

     They managed his treatments with minimal fuss. Both arriving to the room the Tardis had made for them at the appropriate times without argument. He’d disrobe and lay down and close his eyes and Jack would touch and stroke, sometimes with toys, sometimes with his hands, quite often with both, until his control broke and he was spent. Then Jack would fetch a flannel for him and clean away the mark of their activities. During the day Jack left after that but at night he simply turned away to rest until the next session.

     Between sessions he had a portion of his lab devoted to the study of Paradise metabolites but the better part of his concentration was devoted to solving what he considered a much larger problem. In eight months, if he lived that long, he would have an infant. That infant needed a home. If he could convince Jack to play his part in conception the child would be a human/time lord hybrid, therefore the best person to raise it would be the only other being like it.

     The problem with that was he’d left him in another universe with Rose. It was the right decision. Separating Rose from her family would have been a horrible thing to do and she didn’t need to see what he’d do to Donna. Even if he hadn’t gotten the wasting their lifespans were too different and he’d never be able to look at her without thinking about how short their time would be. The irony that he’d die first now wasn’t lost on him.

     While he’d closed the tears that allowed him to take Rose home the universe was filled with rifts and if he could find one stable enough he might be able travel between them without dire consequences. He hadn’t found one when Rose was first taken but he hadn’t looked very hard either. Part of him knew she was better off with her mother. He wasn’t able to resist telling her goodbye but he didn’t try to bring her back. It would have been cruel and selfish to make her live with him for whatever brief time they could spend together before finding somewhere to leave her for her old age with no family in a universe where she was listed among the dead.

     He hoped she found happiness with his double, hoped that man had been able to let go of all the things holding them back and chase happiness, for her sake if not for his own. He’d managed to say the words even if he’d had to whisper. Wild horses couldn’t draw those words from his own mouth. It felt like an affront to decency to utter them when everyone who’d ever heard them from his lips was gone. It felt like his love was a death sentence. As soon as he cared that much the universe came to punish him for daring to forget what he’d done.

     Much better to keep moving. He gave them the stars and they gave him a few brief years of companionship. It was a fair trade for those who survived it. Most of the time. Some of the time. When he didn’t turn them into soldiers. Ian and Barbara turned out fine, Polly and Ben were passable. He couldn’t be held responsible for anyone in UNIT, they were soldiers when he found them. 

     Best not to think of the others, though that was hard in this regeneration. His tenth self had a penchant for looking back and he found himself wanting to check on where everyone had ended up when his past selves were content to ignore all those who came before. He didn’t want to interfere just to look in on them, reassure himself that things had turned out all right for some of them at least.

     Maybe he was getting sentimental in his old age. Not that he was really old. Almost out of regenerations and not yet 1000. He’d managed to get his first body to 450 and used up all the others in about the same length of time. Only the Master burned through them faster. Had he chosen a sedate life observing the universe he’d have been pushing 5000 before seeing this face. Now, not even a decade after donning it he was dying for good. He didn’t need to ood or their prophecy to tell him so anymore, knocking or no knocking. He hadn’t forgotten their summons but he had the perfect excuse to ignore it now.

     A monitor beeped and he looked up, a wide grin spreading across his face. A drawer to the side of his work station opened with the ring of a bell and inside was a new copy of his screwdriver. He picked it up and gave it a twirl between his fingers.

     “Quite right old girl, we’ve got things to do. No time to mope about being melancholy.” Taking his ship’s intervention as a sign he’d been at it too long the Doctor went to find someone to talk to. Being around people had really pointed out how useless he was on his own. Recent events made him reluctant to bring anyone along but he wasn’t traveling or doing anything remotely dangerous and if they were going to keep him here they could at least be entertaining.

     He made his way up to the house and began to poke around. Gwen and Rhys were playing with their baby girl in the lounge. He skirted past them, he didn’t want to disturb their family time and he didn’t really know them enough to be a bother. Also, he wasn’t keen on spending his time with an infant. He liked babies, even spoke baby, but he wasn’t in the mood to be reminded of his condition so he slipped past them to the stairs in search of Jack or Martha.

     He cut through the room they’d kept him in and found Jack sitting on his sofa. When he walked in Jack immediately put down his book in favor of the Doctor. 

     “Hey, We’ve still got an hour don’t we?” Jack asked, wanting to be sure he hadn’t lost track of time.

     “Oh! Yes, an hour. Quite right. I’m not here for that. I’m here for…” the Doctor struggled to find a reason for his presence. “Chips!”

     “Chips?” Jack asked.

     “Yes, chips. I thought we might go for chips. Martha’s nutritious dinners are wearing a little thin. Can you believe she suggested a jacket potato when I mentioned a greater need for potassium? As if anyone would consume potato skin for potassium when bananas exist.” the time lord rambled.

     “I think we have some oven chips…” Jack offered.

     The Doctor pulled a face, “Not oven chips Jack, proper chips!” He whined. “Hot oil is an essential part of chip-making. It’s necessary to take full advantage of the Maillard Reaction, my very favorite form of non-enzymatic browning. They’re a symphony of volatile organic compounds ,a  Melanoidin sonnet. Oven chips are just a pale shadow. We can’t have those. I’m sure their presence here is more of Martha’s handiwork. As if any of us needs to worry about cholesterol with as active as we are.”

     Jack couldn’t help but grin at his friends vehement defense of the chip. Very little of what he loved about the man could be seen these days between the drugs and simply being stuck in one place. It was nice to see him passionate about something even if it was lunch. Even if he’d intended to deny him, he wouldn’t be able to now that he’d seen him come alive again so Jack marked his place in his book and went to get his coat.

     “Alright Doc, grab your coat and we’ll go and get the culinary masterwork that is the chip.” Jack waited as his friend rushed to prepare for the outside world “I’m never going to let you live it down if we get there and you drown them in brown sauce.” 

     “Don’t be absurd Jack.” the Doctor looked offended “Salt and vinegar.”

     Jack laughed as they headed to the SUV.

     “You know, best chips I ever had were on Androzani Minor. I was visiting the colony their during a training op in the Time Agency. I didn’t expect much from chartreuse potatoes but they were fabulous.” Jack said as he buckled in.

     The Doctor nodded as if this was common knowledge. “It’s the fat. They render a lard from the Magma Beasts and it imparts a particularly nice flavor. I don’t recommend the milk of the queen bat though. Cures spectrox toxaemia but you’ll taste it for weeks after. It just kind of sticks to your palate and doesn't want to go.” He ran his tongue along the roof of his mouth like the memory could bring the taste back.

     “You’re kidding?” Jack asked incredulously. “Those things will rip your arm off.”

     “Yeah, I’m aware. Had a run in with them and if it wasn’t for it being distracted by an android, I’d have gotten a new face.” The Doctor agreed.

     They arrived at the chip shop and got their orders without event, still bantering about past adventures, When they came to a lull in the conversation the Doctor attempted to bring Jack around to the conversation he meant to have.

     “You know, Jack,” He started gesturing with a chip. “The Tardis replaced my screwdriver today and I was thinking you might have reconsidered my proposition…”

     “Doctor…”

     “Because I could have that Vortex Manipulator fixed in two shakes. Couldn’t let you have it forever. Man lives as long as you do would cross his own timeline so many times it’d weave the time-space continuum into a friendship bracelet…”

     “Doctor…”

     “I’m sure I could find further forms of recompense as well. I’m not a man without means…” 

     “DOCTOR!” Jack all but shouted to shut the man up. “I’ll do it.”

     The Doctor swallowed and asked “You will?”

     “How could I resist pick-up lines like yours?”  Jack quipped wryly. “Not sure if I feel better or worse now that you’ve offered to pay me to do it either.”

     The Doctor blushed “I wasn’t insinuating that you were..” he lowered his voice to a whisper “a  _ prostitute.”  _ Like me, his mind admonished. “Donors of that sort are often compensated, it’s common practice. Infertility clinics all over the galaxy do it, this isn’t really all that different.”

     “Less different than you’re thinking it will be too” Jack said firmly.” I asked Martha to obtain the equipment for me. I’m still not going back and having sex with you.”

     “Oh..” The Doctor sputtered. “Yes, quite right. I should have thought of that. No need to get your hands dirty...or other bits or…Isn’t it about time to head back?” 

     Jack let him off the hook. “Yeah, won’t be too long until your next treatment. Toss your trash in the bin and we’ll go.” 

     With that the two headed back. The Doctor tried not to feel slighted that Jack would go to such lengths to avoid the deed when he was sure he’d wanted to do it before all this. This was better anyway. It wasn’t that he wanted the Captain to have sex with him exactly but that he wanted him to want to. Here he was laid bare to the man every six hours and Jack couldn’t be less interested. It was beginning to hurt his ego.


	22. Chapter 22

     His beard itched. Most places on his body had been treated not to grow hair early in his life, just after he entered the time agency. Personal grooming took a backseat to most of the work Jack had been involved with over the course of his long life but he liked to look good. Before he had a magic reset to peak physical condition looking good had required forethought. Forethought meant any area he was sure he would never want hair just didn’t grow it. Head, groin, pits, enough to meet most centuries definition of masculine without looking like a yeti, everything else taken care of with a laser.

     He’d only kept the ability to grow a beard as a means to disguise himself. Even during the time periods where all the men were wearing beards he hadn't. He didn’t like them but there were a great many things he didn’t like that he’d put up with for the pretty boy in a suit who’d sent him. A trip to the wardrobe room and a few days growing facial hair was a small price to pay to keep the timelord from a fate he saw as worse than death.

     Consent was king in his time, the only real rule about sex was that everyone who was involved needed to want to do it. None of the wishy-washy 21st century ‘She didn’t say no’ consent either. Enthusiastic affirmative consent or nothing. Not only does ‘no’ mean ‘no’ but only ‘yes’ means ‘yes’. Gave him a hell of a time in the early 1900’s when good girls didn’t say yes. 

     Being able to interact with cultures different than your own is a crucial skill for anyone who time travels but that didn’t mean Jack hadn’t done some pretty nasty things to folks he caught crossing the lines of consent. A crime of that nature in his time would have kept you from seeing the light of day for the rest of your natural life and he saw that as the least of what should happen to Rag. It irked him that he’d have to interact with the man again and that this time when he left, the Doctor wouldn’t be coming back with him.

     He placated himself with the knowledge that in his own time-stream the Doctor was safe with Martha and had given him permission for what he was about to do. Retroactive consent wasn’t the gold standard but it was better than nothing and leaving the Doctor carrying a rapist baby was out of the question.

     He showed up at the bar early, it never really closed but he knew from his previous visit it was before the Doctor was usually given his paradise. He hoped that meant no one else had been with him yet. They knew from the development scans the Doctor was fertilized sometimes over the next 24 hours and he needed to be the one to do it. 

     He had a few drinks, scotch rather than his usual hypervodka, he didn’t want to be familiar to the barkeep next time he came. He was actually on the station right now as a younger version but that him hadn’t progressed to drinking in public yet. He was still drowning his sorrows in the privacy of his living pod unable to deal with the casual conversation that came with drinking in a bar. 

     Eventually he asked for a room token, he took the crystal data chip from the barman over to a kiosk that let you browse holograms of the whores on staff who weren’t wandering about the bar, which was most of them at this time of day. All you had to do was make a selection and they’d wake your choice, drug them and show you to their room. The holograms were pornographic and in the Doctor’s advert he had a cock up his arse and another man coming on his face. His specialties were listed as bondage and groups.

     He made his selection, feeling a little sick that it was easier to order the Doctor to his bed than to have a pizza delivered in Cardiff, and watched one of Rag’s guards break away from the group toward the Doctor’s room while the other mumbled pleasantries and assured him it wouldn’t be long. He was given a quick rundown on what he should expect since the Doctor was just now getting his paradise and assured that the additional time it would take him to perform was free of charge.  He took the opportunity to include the next cycle in his purchase insuring contact with the Doctor for one full Earth day with a minor fee for the extra paradise and the small hassel of scheduling the doses with the guard. 

     The guard that left returned and escorted him to the Doctor with a lewd joke about Jack’s impending lack of sleep. He made a noise that could be construed as a chuckle as the man left. The instant the door closed he was by his friend’s side turning him gently on his belly to check his passage. It was dry, he hadn’t even been lubed today. Jack let out a sigh of relief that he’d made it before anyone touched him. 

     That done he began to set up a work area. The bed was large.  _ To accommodate groups,  _ his brain scornfully reminded him. He set the case he brought with him on one side and maneuvered the Doctor to the other. The man was tall enough that his feet hung off the end of the bed now that he was laying on it horizontally but he didn’t seem to be remotely bothered beneath his dose of paradise.

     Jack surveyed his equipment. He had a pack of unlubricated condoms, several specimen cups, a handful of 10 ml syringes with extender tips to deposit the semen inside the uterine pouch and a disposable speculum. He also had medical-grade lubricant and a pack of nitrile gloves. He was as ready as he was getting except for one thing: he wasn’t the least bit hard.

     Thus far he’d been treating this like a military operation and it had worked. He was right where he needed to be at the right time with the right equipment. What he didn’t have was the right frame of mind. He was overflowing with adrenalin teetering just this side of fight-or-flight. He ran his hands through his hair and over his face and tried to center himself to no avail. 

     He tried to tell himself it was the easiest thing in the world to do. He’d done it countless times, but never like this. The equipment was too clinical the room too gaudy and the Doctor too damned stoned to be arousing. He berated himself with the factual knowledge that he wasn’t changing anything. Whether he did this or not he was going to return to a pregnant Doctor and this was the only way to give the man a choice in whose child he carried. 

     With a sigh he packed the equipment back up, save a specimen cup and one condom. He placed those on the nightstand and turned his attention back to the Doctor. Now that he was looking at him he noticed he was even skinnier than when he’d initially found him which means he  _ gained  _ weight on the Synthivite. The only way that was possible was if he was grossly neglecting himself before he’d arrived.

     A quick look at his wrists showed that he’d been tied up before Jack came into the room, though the restraints had been removed from the room because Jack hadn’t checked that box when he was ordering. He rubbed the Doctor’s wrists and ankles to insure the blood flow was good and then helped the timelord under the covers so that he was more comfortable.

     Since he had a full day he decided it would be best not to rush. He wanted to inseminate the Doctor as many times as possible during that time but realistically he only had about 10 syringes so he had a little wiggle room. He had time to get his head in the right place. Still, he wanted to be ready when the mood hit him so he removed his clothes. Instead of his distinctive coat he had on jeans and a jumper so he took them off and folded them up on the nightstand.

     The air was just slightly chilly so he climbed under the covers with the Doctor and curled himself around his back. He let himself relax and stoked his hand along the other’s arm. The ecstasy of the drug was slowly giving way to obedience and suggestibility so Jack coaxed him into facing him and lowered his head into his hair breathing in the spicy-sweet fragrance that no human had ever smelled of. Usually he also had a faint whiff of motor oil and old books too but his time in captivity had washed those away.

     He knew it wouldn’t be long before the Doctor was begging for release and he could use the timelord’s arousal to kindle his own. Unbidden it occurred to him that if he slid his soft cock past those thin lips into that perfect mouth the Doctor would suck him to fullness. He let his index finger trail along his bottom lip and than dip inside the wet recess to test the theory and sure enough, the Doctor suckeled reflexivly. His keepers would have taught that early both to feed him and make more money. There was no skill in it but Jack still felt himself becoming heavy as the Timelord wound his tongue around the finger and sucked for all he was worth.

     He allowed it to go on a few more moments before removing his finger and wiping his wet hand on the duvet. He wouldn’t really do it but imagining the Doctor’s mouth drawing him in was getting him where he needed to be. He moved back the blanket to take a good long look at the Doctor’s body and fuel his fledgling erection. Softly, with every ounce of gentleness he possessed he began to stroke the timelord’s body, encouraging little moans slipping from the other man’s mouth.

     Slowly both of them hardened, Jack with quiet reserve and the Doctor with needy whimpers. Jack imagined how sweet it would be if he could make the timelord sound like that when he knew he was there. He slipped the condom over himself and nudged himself right up close to the timelord. He wrapped one hand around both of their erections and began to stroke. He felt like he was on fire with the Doctor’s cool skin pressed against his own, like the other man was the only reason he didn’t melt.

     It didn’t take him long to fill the condom and turn his focus solely on the Doctor. As soon as he was taken care of he emptied the latex sheath into the specimen cup. He fetched a syringe and drew it up before adding the extended tubing. He gently returned the Doctor to his stomach and  coated his fingers with medical lubricant. As soon as he was slick he inserted the speculum and opened it with a series of clicks. Seeing inside him he carefully fed the tubing through his cervix and deposited his load as deeply as he could.

     One down, nine to go. By the time the procedure was complete he was already getting to the end of his 51st century refractory period and the Doctor was once again whimpering for his attention so he snuggled close to repeat the processes. By what passed for dawn on a spaceport he was out of syringes and resorting to using his fingers to press his semen inside the Doctor’s passage. He regretted not bringing a plug to hold everything inside.

     He got breakfast and managed a little sleep after the Doctor’s morning dose of Paradise than spent the rest of the day focused on the timelord’s needs. He tried to scan with his vortex manipulator but it was too early to tell if he were successful. He made the Doctor come one more time before his time was up and gathered his reserve to leave the man where he was.

     He avoided talking to Rag on the way out and made the jump back to Cardiff as soon as he was out of sight. The Doctor must have felt the shift in the Vortex because he met Jack in the back garden. He looked at Jack expectantly and Jack nodded in answer to the unspoken question. The Doctor offered his hand with a wiggle of his fingers and the captain took it.

     Together they made their way to the Tardis medbay where Jack helped the Doctor onto the ADT table. They both held their breath until the terminal announced the other genetic component to be human. He smiled at the Doctor and the Doctor grinned back.

     “You’re going to be a daddy.” The Doctor announced with a million-watt grin but Jack’s face fell.

     “Daddies kiss scraped knees and chase monsters out from under beds. I’m sure whoever you find for that job will be excellent at it, but it isn’t me.” He said with the darkness of his thoughts coating his words palpably.

     The Doctor cleared his throat. “Of course, me either really. Just, well...Good job Captain, and Thank you.”

     “Wasn’t ever really a choice Doc, you needed it so I did it. That’s how it is, That’s how it always will be.”

     “Right.” The Doctor answered. “Thank you all the same.” He struggled a little for what to do next, scratching awkwardly at the back of his neck before Jack let him off the hook and offered his hand. 

     “We got about an hour before your treatment if I timed my jump right.” The Doctor nodded to confirm he was correct. “Let me get you a cup of tea and I’ll tell you how it went.”

     The Doctor smiled and took his hand as he led him from the Medbay into the galley. He was glad to have the companionable conversation the Captain was offering and hoped that he wouldn’t upset the man again. It was hard enough to stay in one place without ones company cross at you. Surely he could maintain the peace for a few months. After all it was almost christmas. Christmas 2009 was one he hadn’t been to yet. He hoped it’d be a good one.


	23. Chapter 23

     He should have known better than to trust a Christmas. Whether it was 1851 or 2009 Christmas was always trouble. He’d saved the world again with a little help from Donna’s grandad but Jack wouldn’t look him in the eye, having been made to watch when the Master had discovered his current predicament surrounding the use of Paradise. He’d leapt into the radiation chamber at Wilfred’s knocking and looked disappointed when he revived. 

     Jack had been shocked to learn the other time lord had managed to come back from the dead but he himself doubted that this was the last time he’d face his old nemesis. His old foes constantly cheated death. He’d give anything if, just once, someone nice would come back like Romana or Susan. Fixed point that he is, Jack hadn’t changed with the rest of earth’s population but with 6.85 billion copies of his greatest enemy, he hadn’t really stood a chance either. 

     The Doctor had left him behind again when the nightmare had woken him, he’d not wanted to let Jack face the Master again knowing what had happened last time but Jack being Jack he’d followed with the vortex manipulator as soon as he’d realized where he’d gone. The spaceship must have given it away. Now the adrenaline was gone and he was stuck eating a Christmas dinner that tastes like ashes around a table as silent as any funeral watching the immortal push a spoonful of potato around a puddle of gravy while avoiding his gaze.

     When the silence became too oppressive he excused himself to the loo to vomit up the little he’d managed to swallow. He didn’t know whether to blame the drugs or the pregnancy for that but either way, he was grateful for the excuse to leave. Instead of returning to the dining area after he’d rinsed the taste from his mouth he headed to the Tardis and went straight to the lab. He drew up a dose of Paradise just this side of fatal and consigned himself to oblivion for the next couple of days.

     Jack made his way to the Tardis about an hour later knowing the timelord needed him regardless of the traumas experienced during the day. He wasn’t overly surprised to find him on the floor of his laboratory drugged beyond all sensibility, just sad he’d failed the man again. He carried him back into the house, purposefully passing Martha. She grabbed her medical bag and followed him to the room without a word.

     Together they removed his suit and cleaned the million tiny wounds falling through plate glass had given him. Martha continued to examine him removing his pants to find him savaged beneath them.

     “My God.” She whispered and pulled the suture kit from her bag. She couldn’t imagine how he’d managed to sit with them at the table. She looked to Jack for answers but he turned away, unable to face her. When she had repaired as much as she could she covered him over with the duvet and went to Jack, opening her arms to offer the hug he desperately needed. 

     Jack collapsed to his knees before her and sobbed the tale into her lap as she sat on the bed. She stroked his hair and listened before reminding the immortal that regardless of all that had happened the Doctor had taken paradise again and he needed him.

     As if to emphasise her point the timelord began to stir. Jack ground the heels of his hands across his eyes and tried to make peace with reality. Realistically, the Doctor was only there in body, not mind. He needed to take care of the body until the mind was ready to come back.

     It took three days for the drugs in the timelord’s system to come back down enough for him to regain consciousness but once he did he stepped back into his life of captivity as if nothing had happened. Mere moments after his eyes fluttered open he had removed all the trappings of his care and donned his suit. Matha tried to get him to talk to her but he was having none of it commenting that therapy was a strange human behavior and he had better things to do with his time.

     He spent a couple of hours working on the problem of inter-universal travel before his body reminded him he was still slave to the drug and he made his way to the bedroom the Tardis had created for that purpose. He was right on time but Jack hadn’t arrived yet. He took off his Jacket and tie, laying them carefully across the footboard and rolled up his shirt sleeves. A few minutes later he removed his shoes and socks and tucked them under the edge of the bed, waiting impatiently.

     When Jack arrived he had a carrier bag and lowered eyes. He passed the bag to the Doctor and went to sit on the bed without comment. The timelord inspected the contents curiously finding one of the toys Jack had purchased for him to take care of the problem himself. He removed the object from the cardboard and scowled at it as if were sentient and aware of his displeasure.

     It was essentially a plastic cup lined with textured silicone. It had a cord at one end that led to the controls and battery pack and a pair of cartoonish lips on the other. Had his arousal been natural rather than drug-induced the horrible thing would have surely banished his erection and as it was it flagged a bit as he worked out what Jack expected him to do. 

     He absolutely would not be seen in this horrid little device. He cursed internally that their most recent adventure had caused Jack to be repulsed to this point. He didn’t think it was very fair since he had a bond with the Master, however warped by his insanity it was, it was still more socially acceptable than those on the spaceport. He supposed the difference was Jack hadn’t personally witnessed the events on Sedna.

     He wasn’t sure why  _ this  _ sex made him untouchable to the Captain. He was certain that he’d copulated with a great number of beings that were not virginal so it couldn’t be just sex in general. That stigma was much more twentieth century than fifty-first. He also ruled out the stigma of same-gender pairings because that was obviously acceptable to the Captain. It couldn't be prostitution because the incident with the Master made it worse and no money changed hands.

     Then he remembered how angry Jack had been when he’d assumed he’d been having sex with him while he was unaware. He’d called it rape. While the word itself wasn’t helpful given that humans used it to mean so many different things the connotation was always bad. It was something vile whether it was being used to describe cutting off a lock of someone’s hair or a violent assault where the victim is left for dead.

     His own culture didn’t have such a word but he concluded that in the immortal's eyes he’d been raped though he still wasn’t sure where the Master fit with that since he’d been conscious at the time. He recalled the fate of Leucothoe who’d been buried alive for such a transgression and shuddered. At least the Captain wasn’t trying to kill him, only refusing to touch him intimately.

     He still wasn’t going to be seen in the hideous plastic device. He couldn’t make Jack touch him either, so he hid. He hid under the blankets and fitted himself into the nasty little thing Jack had brought him. He turned on the motor which caused the sleeve to vibrate and ripple and tried to imagine he was somewhere else. Jack reached out to him and touched his exposed forearm to provide the necessary telepathic connection and otherwise ignored him.

     It took forty-five minutes to reach orgasm because unlike Jack’s touch, the device wasn’t strong enough to stop him from berating himself in his mind for engaging in any kind of sexual activity outside of a bond. He came with a whimper and then a grimace of disgust when he realized he would have to clean the vulgar piece of plastic as well as himself this time. 

     At least he was saved from anyone witnessing him pull himself free and making his way to the ensuite because as soon as he turned the motor off Jack left the room. As soon as he was gone the Doctor fought the urge to crush the foul device underfoot and instead took it to the sink to clean it. As he did he noticed a tremor in his hand that wouldn’t go away.


	24. Chapter 24

     It was maddening to only be able to work for an hour or two at a time but he still wasn’t willing to quit taking the drug. Since Christmas he’d been monitored much closer by Jack and Martha as to his dosage but he still managed to get a little extra snuck past them. How did they expect him to tolerate living like this without it? Everyday lived in sequence became just slightly more tedious. He was constantly nauseous and had developed a tendency toward acid reflux that left him cranky and short tempered. His chest was tender and achy especially around the nipples and he found himself needing to urinate more often than he ever thought possible. It was ridiculous than an organism less than two inches long could be so disruptive. 

     He had finally developed a set of parameters to screen rifts by. He had started the work when he first lost Rose but now he’d fully fleshed it out and was receiving results. Of all the many thousands of rifts, the algorithm had produced only one that could be traveled through to the correct universe. He was pleased it could be done but the nature of the rift presented a problem. It wasn’t like the rift in Cardiff that could be left as it was. It had the potential to destabilize and cause damage to both universes.  

     He could travel through it but it would need to be closed afterward. It looked like this would be a one-way trip. All in all, it wasn’t too much of a sticking point. He was dying anyway and it was only fair that he turn the care of the Tardis over to his counterpart. No one else would know how to see to her needs anyway and she couldn’t be allowed to fall into the wrong hands. It give her to the metacrisis or destroy her and he lacked the will to cause his oldest and dearest companion harm.

     Once he’d found the rift he devoted his precious unattended hours to modifying the Tardis to function correctly on Pete’s world. He didn’t have a spare ten years of life to gift her this time and he needed her to be alright. The energy of the vortex had a negative charge in that universe so he built an inverter for her to process it through. A flick of a switch and she would be able to charge as well as she could in her home universe. 

     Though he should have been able to finish the work in a week, the frequent interruptions stretched it until he was 18 weeks along and well into February. His clothes no longer fit properly. He had to fasten his trousers beneath his protruding belly down around his hips rather than at the waist and his dress shirts had become cartoonishly large to accommodate the bulge. His arms swam in the sleeves as the weight was concentrated solely in his middle and he had to pin the cuffs so they didn’t gape. If you ignored the straining buttons on his abdomen, he looked like a child wearing his father’s shirt.

     To his great distress, his chest was also  _ puffy.  _ Apparently, his body was preparing to feed as well as expel the dependant biological entity. The large shirts did well to disguise the evidence of his enlarged mammary glands and he wasn’t about to  _ tell  _ anyone it was happening. His abused skin was showing stretch marks everywhere it was growing which included not only his chest and abdomen but his backside as it widened.  Martha had bullied him into a couple of scans and he learned that all his joints were loosening but he’d refused any manual examinations.

     He avoided mirrors and going into public. If being seen was unavoidable and anyone was rude enough to ask what was wrong with him he lied and said he had liver cancer to explain both his bulk and gaunt appearance. While the infant thrived he himself was on the decline. The tremble that started in his hands was now a defined shaking and he now had noticeable problems with his gait. He could trip over fresh air and sunshine now as it seemed one foot liked to catch on the other. He found himself walking into rooms and forgetting why he’d gone in and while the humans laughed and said it happened to everyone it had never happened to him.

     He did his best to remain fully clothed even during his sessions with Jack, performing the necessary act through his open fly with the silicone monstrosity Jack had provided. Even then he covered himself with a blanket. Jack touched him only on the back of his hand and kept his eyes shut so he was surprised when he was asked to stay at the conclusion of the day’s third session.

     “It’s time for me to go, Jack.” The Doctor said solemnly. “I need you to unlock the Tardis.”

     “Go?” Jack replied with disbelief “Where are you going to go, Doc.? You aren’t fit to be let out on your own. Half the tea you make ends up on the floor because you shake so bad and you still need this.” He gestured around himself at the bed.

     “I know I’m bad. It’s going to get worse. I need to go before I can’t make the trip.” He pleaded “Only a few more weeks and this thing is viable” He gestured to his belly with his free hand.  “I’m going to give it to the metacrisis. One unique being to another. Two human/timelord hybrids that can understand one another.”

     “I’m coming with you.” Jack said stubbornly

     “You can’t” the timelord sighed.

     “The hell I can’t, I’m coming with you.” Jack insisted

     “Jack, I’m not coming back to this universe. I’m closing the rift behind me. This trip is one-way” the Doctor explained

     “I don’t have anything keeping me here, I said my goodbyes months ago.” Jack maintained.

     “I can’t take you with me.” the Doctor stood firm

     “Why not?” Jack demanded.

     “The energy that powers the Tardis powers you too. I’ve spent weeks modifying her to survive on it” The Doctor turned his body to face Jack. “I can’t do the same to you. If you run out of what you have stored, You’ll die for good.” 

     “This plan keeps getting better and better” Jack smiled wistfully

     “Don’t be flip, this is serious. I’m not taking you.” the Doctor frowned.

     “Will I die the instant I step out of the Tardis?” Jack asked as he brushed a stray hair from the Doctor’s forehead.

     “No, you wouldn’t you’d probably survive the first few deaths over there” The timelord conceded with a troubled look  “but eventually the energy would run out and you’d stay gone.”

     “Sounds like a dream come true.” he said letting his hand settle on the Doctor’s cheek.

     “Jack…” He said with as much reproach as he could muster.

     “Don’t ‘Jack’ me. It does. I’m tired, Doc. Two-thousand years is a long time. You’re telling me I can go with you, take care of you for as long as you have, and it is the cure for immortality? Nothing but wins.” Jack moved both hands to the alien’s shoulders. “Let me come, then let me go. If I had another way out I would have taken it a long time ago. Just time for one more adventure. I’ll help you to your rest then go find my own. I’m sure Rosie would make a great mom and him? Well, he’s you isn’t he?”

     “More or less.” the Doctor conceded.

     “Perfect, I couldn’t ask for more.” Jack smiled. “When do we leave?”

     “Now?” The Doctor supplied hopefully

     “No, not now. We aren’t leaving like thieves in the night” Jack said reproachfully. 

     “Tomorrow?” He offered

     “I have to get my finances in order though now that I’ve said it I don’t suppose the currency will transfer will it?” Jack said with a frown.

     “No, an entirely different system of government and there isn’t an inter-universe exchange rate. Sonic will still work on the cash-points though.” the Doctor supplied.

     “Great we’re showing up on Rosie’s doorstep as paupers.” Jack said with distaste.

     “I show up everywhere as a pauper.” the Doctor offered “It’s worked out well so far. The sonic takes care of the pocket money and the Tardis takes care of everything else.”

     “Not everyone can be a space-hobo and robbing cash-points might be a little obvious if you’re in one place too long. Martha told me all about working in a shop in 1969 to support you. I don’t fancy a new career in retail in the other universe.”

     “That won’t happen this time, we’ll have the Tardis and I’ve got plenty of things aboard that people in Pete’s world would consider valuable” the Doctor assured him

     “Have you got a room in the Tardis stacked full of gold bars or something?” Jack joked

     “Not a room full but I have a few, she uses it as a component in some of her circuits. Keeping her running  is always my first priority, more so now that Gallifrey is gone and I can’t just go and pick up a spare temporal stabilizer.”

     Jack just shook his head. Even if they were going with just the clothes on their backs, he’d follow where the Doctor needed him to go. He didn’t know why he bothered arguing.

     “I’ll go and pack my things and let Martha know what’s going on.  You need to clean up anyway.” Jack gestured to the covers hiding him and the Doctor’s face fell.

     He immediately felt disgusting sitting in his own mess for an hour talking to Jack. A fair bit of his emission had now dried on his skin and the rest was a cold, congealed foulness both on himself and on the hateful device. So as Jack took care of the practicalities he took himself to the shower to scald his own nastiness of him.  


	25. Chapter 25

     It was a very nice room. The leather sofa was well-made as was the mahogany table and the rich oriental rug. The artwork on the walls was tasteful, the bookshelves boasted several first-editions and the television was top-of-the-line for this time-period. The temperature was pleasant, even to his now ridiculously warm body. It was also hell.

     He wasn't entirely sure why it was hell. No, that wasn’t true, he did know. It was hell because he was in it and he wanted desperately to be anywhere else. He’d been stuck in the mansion for two whole days and it felt like the walls constricted around him a little more each hour.  He’d been living on the slow path for several months now and it was only just barely tolerable since he had Rose and Pete’s Torchwood to distract him. He didn’t know if he would have made it this long had he any other choice but he was starting to settle or so he thought until he broke his leg.

     His leg shouldn’t have broken. He had over 900 years of memories telling him he should have been able to make that jump but his new part-human body had strongly disagreed and now here he was under instruction to keep it elevated and rest. As if his new life wasn't resting enough compared to the non-stop running he was accustomed to, Just like his old timelord self, idle time lead to festering thoughts and he found he didn’t much like his own company when everyone went off about their day and he was left on his own with nothing but his own memories for companionship. 

     He hadn’t really thought about how boring life would be when he made the leap on the beach and said the words he knew his counterpart wouldn’t. He made his choice the same as Rose did though staying aboard the Tardis had never really been an option for either of them. The full timelord would never have let Rose stay after how badly she handled his regeneration, despite having seen one before, and there was no way he would have ever chosen to look at his own genocidal face every morning at the breakfast table. Mirrors were hard enough without having it talk back or watching them act out the necessary but unpleasant things you have to do every day.

     He did worry sometimes that his counterpart would change his mind and swoop in to steal the life he was making for himself which was why his stomach fell into his shoes when he heard the Tardis. He couldn’t run with a bust leg so he let himself swing through the crutches, making it out onto the lawn just as she solidified. The sight made him angry, all previous notions of boredom fled when faced with this. He had no right to come back here after all these months and upset things now, no right at all. He was prepared to shout and rant and drive the man he used to be away but instead of his own face appearing from behind the doors it was Jack.

     The angry words died before they made it past his lips and settled into a mild confusion as he asked: “Jack, what...what are you doing here?” As he drove the crutches into the soft ground for better support.

     “Hey Doc, Should I call you Doc? Are you still going by Doc?” Jack asked

     “No you shouldn’t call me Doc, You shouldn’t call him Doc, we are not now, nor have we ever been ‘Doc.’ It’s Doctor or ‘the Doctor’ but if you must know, I go by John here. Mostly just to simplify conversation so that everyone knows who everyone else is talking about but also because having a me around who isn’t me or wasn’t me or who won’t be me in the future but a completely separate entity who isn’t, hasn’t and won’t experience or remember what I’m doing is upsetting to the sense of self even for someone who has been ten different men.”   

     “God, I miss the rambling. It’s been months since he did that and I don’t think I really noticed until just now.”  Jack replied with a wistful smile causing John’s face to cycle through curiosity than concern before settling on suspicious.

     “Why?” John said straightening himself out and gearing up for an argument “What as he done? Don’t think he can just waltz in here and dump his problems on me. I’ve got a life here, he made his choice…”

Jack had the decency to look sheepish as he started “Well…”

     “That’s exactly what is happening isn’t it?” John said as he rolled his eyes and then shouted “You might as well come out and tell me yourself, don’t leave Jack to do your dirty work, have the good grace to ask me yourself! I don’t need to hear the world is ending second-hand. Don’t hide in there you coward, get out here and face me…” He trailed off as the doors opened once more and the Doctor stepped out his face gaunt, his gait uneven and his clothes to large everywhere but his abdomen. 

     John took a moment to absorb what he was seeing. His hair was flat and far too long. His skin was sallow and his eyes sunken. His stomach was distended and his clothing drawn tight over the protrusion but it hung loosely over everywhere else. He was in a state, that much was clear, but he couldn’t immediately identify what was wrong with him so he asked. The doctor looked pleadingly at Jack who gestured for him to go on and then back at John.

     “Wasting” He muttered feebly 

     John nodded “Donna?”

     “She doesn't remember anymore. She’s safe though. It worked.” He tried to sound positive.

     John nodded again. “Ok, Thieves wasting. She was burning, you took it, she fought you. Wasting. Logical sequence of events. Does not explain that.” He pointed to the timelord’s belly “Or why your here. I don’t know anything about wasting you don’t. Why come to me?”

     “You’re not the only one contaminated with human DNA.” The timelord offered

     “What’s that supposed to mean?” the metacrisis scoffed

     “He’s pregnant,” Jack said, deciding to cut through the game of 20 questions and get right to the point.

     “He’s  _ what?” _ John said incredulously. “You’re not.” He looked back to the timelord in disbelief

     “I am.” he lamented 

     “Whose?” John demanded

     “Jack’s” The Doctor sighed

     “You bonded to  _ Jack?” _

     “Um...Well...No...Not as such.” He looked down to the ground in shame and scuffed his feet.

     John’s face immediately pulled inward in disgust. “You’re doing THAT with Jack and you haven't bonded with him. Just as well we’re having this conversation on the lawn then. Can’t be having you in the house you might wee on the carpets. I didn’t know that wasting deprived you of even basic civility. I mean, why bother with clothes if you’re going to rut around like an animal…”

     With every sentence, John became more shrill and the Doctor more embarrassed. He continued to berate the Doctor until Jack stepped in.

     “Now just hold on a minute. There are some pretty substantial extenuating circumstances.” Jack defended even though he felt the Doctor had done nothing wrong. “He’s taking Paradise and…”

     “Oh, well that’s nice. You’ve developed a drug habit in addition to your perversion, SO much better…” John interrupted

     “...and the child was conceived via artificial insemination.” Jack continued

     “You did this on purpose?” John gasped in shock

     “NO!” Both men exclaimed in unison and then began to try to explain the circumstances of the pregnancy. With both talking at once it was hard to pick out anything other time-travel being involved but John wasn’t really interested in the sordid details.

     “Enough!” He shouted and the other two men ceased talking. Both were trembling. Jack with anger and the Doctor with the weight of his own guilt. “None of this explains why you are on my doorstep.”

     “Someone has to raise it and I’m dying” the Doctor all but whined.

     “That someone is to be me, is it?” John nodded and adjusted his crutches, turning to go back into the house “Come along, I need to sit down. You’ll say nothing of this to Rose. I explained bonding to her and this would be a slap in the face. So you’ll either bond properly or you’ll hide your deviance but under no circumstances is she to know about this.” he gestured wildly at the two of them.

     “You’ll take it then?” The Doctor asked hopefully

     “I didn’t say that.” John said stubbornly

     “I can’t just give a half-timelord child to a stranger, I don’t have any other options.” The Doctor pleaded

     John looked at him thoughtfully.

     “Maybe not as it stands, but you would if you were going to live.”


End file.
